Self-Doubt

by prism

Greetings Masters,
Greetings Mistresses,
Greetings slaves,

This month prism has been tossing around a few things, mainly from talking to slaves/subs and some women who may not choose to submit in the slave sense but are still submissive to men.

There are times when self-doubt enters our minds. Are we here for the right reasons? Are we who we claim to be? Are we really what we need to be? Are we looking in the right places? Is this just some passing fantasy or is it something that one truly wants to live her life as?

It’s probably the most difficult and most important decision a slave has to make. We all know once you choose who you submit to; it’s the last choice you really make.

Getting to that point is a long road, a learning process. Everyday in being a slave is a learning process. This one was told many times that a slave is always learning. Worry when you think you know everything there is to know. But, prism thinks that’s not just in her slavery but in her everyday life. Through the years of learning, we all have to make adjustments.

Some choose to keep it a very private part of their life, while others choose to not to. Neither is wrong, it’s how it works for the people who choose to live it. No one can tell another how to live their life, unless it’s the person you have handed yourself over to. Then you do as they see fit. In the perfect Gor world, one would just plug along and not ask any questions and just go through the motions. But in reality, we all have questions. We are not robots and prism doesn’t think a man would want a robot, but again she doesn’t speak for any man. You become what he wants and trains you as. He doesn’t become what a slave wants. When choosing a master, you already should know what he is about. Why would you want to change or even try to mold him into what you want? Remember, a slave is like a ball of clay, you are molded into what he sees fit. But you still have your own personality and the things that attracted your owner to you in the first place. Do you think if he didn’t see something he liked there he would have chosen you as well? Don’t think so.

Many times this one has heard, that a woman can be “just” a slave to a man with no attachments and that a master does not have to love his slave. The latter part may be true, but the first part, that a slave can be just a slave with no attachments, is, well is easier said than done. How can a slave not care for a man she is serving, not just serving but submitting to and begging his collar without caring for him? In order to give your all, you have to just do exactly that, give your all. Sure, he doesn’t have to love you, but you have to love what you’re doing and want to do what you’re doing. Would you turn yourself over to someone you don’t care for? Don’t think so.

Sometimes it seems like we keep running into brick walls. Ok, here we go with another metaphor. Think of the wall as being knocked down. Then think of yourself as rebuilding it with each brick, one at a time. As you place each brick back to its spot, you learn as you go along. Perhaps the same old brick, but it has a new surface and a new meaning. It’s still the same brick. It may be in a different spot but still the same brick. Ok, so a slave isn’t a brick, but we all get to that place where we ponder about who and what we are. That is when we need to break it down and sometimes rebuild.

Sometimes we have to mend our ways, change our thinking in some directions and open our minds to things we may have not even thought about, stepping outside the box we have built around ourselves. Sometimes that helps with the questions and the self-doubt. Learn to communicate and ask questions. Only you can answer the questions of why you are here and hopefully make the best of it and give it your all, with no regrets. And most of all, you have to love what you are doing. Kind of like what they say in the army:

“It’s not just a job, but an adventure!”

Hope this has made some sense and has helped a few.

Until next time, well wishes.

prism