Accepting Correction

by kaylee{G}

When kaylee used to frequent the discussion boards and chat, she would often see the “begging mercy” vs “begging forgiveness” debate. Both sides had plenty of book quotes to pop out on a moment’s notice to back up their preferences. As each discussion would inevitably go ’round and ’round without resolution, kaylee would wonder if perhaps it might be easier to find out what the free person wanted and let that be her guide.

While this column describes what the man who owns her expects, kaylee hopes that slaves would ask how the person being served expects the slave to accept correction if given.

While some free persons may prefer a slave begging mercy, and others prefer to hear pleas for forgiveness, in the house kaylee lives in, the man is specific in how he wishes for kaylee to handle correction. It does not involve begging for mercy or forgiveness from him. He prefers her to focus on fixing the areas she is being corrected on, than begging for absolution of guilt.

In his home, what he expects is humility, accountability, sincere remorse, gratitude for his correction, and actual actions taken to resolve the problem or prevent it from reoccurring. Words and promises mean little to him if the actions do not follow.

He told her, “If you have caused a problem or made a mistake, the worst possible thing you can do is to waste even more of my time.” In his eyes, results matter. Excuses do not. Nor is defensiveness, nor assigning blame appropriate.

This one is not permitted is to beat herself up for it after he has dropped the matter and moved on. To do so is considered extremely disrespectful, as if to say that her choice to punish herself overrides his decision on how to handle the situation. And again, it wastes even more of his time ... the first time, her service to him is unacceptable, then he stops to correct it ... and then she disrupts future service to him by dwelling on the error?

She is not entitled to make herself miserable over her errors. Only he is. And when he’s done, she’s done.

To a perfectionist, this can be a bitter pill to swallow. But it is no longer her right or duty to set the bar. It is his standard, his measuring stick, and he who determines what is acceptable and what is not. And his standards are high as well, only they are in the areas he deems important. But once he has moved on ... she is to “suck it up” and move on as well. It’s not fun. But each time, it gets a little easier.

Despite the best of intentions, the sincere desire to meet his expectations and beyond ... there are times when she will be corrected. Like most slaves, this one hates screwing up, particularly when she knows she can do better. When she is defensive or guiltridden, she is less inclined to listen to what he is saying, and more likely to focus on herself and how terrible she feels. But she’s found that it is possible to push aside those defensive feelings, and to focus on what he is saying. It is that openness to correction and desire to improve that helps her push towards his goal, despite the stumble.

His mercy, forgiveness, pity ... those are not things that kaylee finds herself actively wishing for - nor are they things her owner requires her to beg for. But she does crave the chance to try again, to strive to meet his standards, to serve him in the manner he desires.

In his home, his law is simple: his way, whatever it takes to get there. Accepting correction in the manner he desires makes “his way” much easier to reach.

Until next month, she wishes you well.
-kaylee{G}