KAIILA (March 21 - April 21)

See that little tag printed on the bottom of your shoe? If you squint you can see the fine print: OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT. This month, it’s best just to hold your tongue, despite the fact that you probably know what’s best, and do little else than nod knowingly when someone comes to you with problems. Spend more time echoing what other people have to say than what others want you to say – listening is an art, and a learned one. If you insist on saying your piece this month, people will be unusually argumentative with you, which usually simply irritates you mightily anyway. You’ll want to offer your opinions about the fella in office, your in-laws’ artistic and cultural attachments, your honey’s taste in music, and how everything else doesn’t measure up. Bad idea.

  BOSK (April 21 - May 21)

You ate too much. This is the theme of the month. Or, drank too much, or you are sore upon thy exit from your Love Nest, and walk funny. This is the month of mad excesses for you; you’re feeling weirdly generous with others and yourself, especially. Watch the scale if you know what’s good for you: munch on icky vegetables. Past the 9^th, you’ll get a bright idea to fix just about everything from the ground-up; your relationship, your home, your natty wardrobe of faded, cozy T-shirts and fetid socks. Not everything needs improvement, though; once you near the 21^st, you may regret that you’ve gone too far. Pick a few projects, scale them down, and make a few minor adjustments. No home absolutely needs a wet-bar-combo-velvet-couch-hot-tub-hookah-harem-kennel. Honest.

  SE-SA (May 22 - June 21)

You’re getting the hang of this responsibility thing at last: you’ve been carried kicking and screaming into the long, dull lectures about 401 K’s and the importance of bran, and you’ve managed to retain some of it, at least. Good for you! While you write 100 times, "I will learn to slow down and do one thing at a time", take a bit of time this month to do exactly that. This is a protected month for you, especially between the 9^th and the 20^th, where your gift of persuasion can land you into better things than the usual trouble. Just have a light touch this month – don’t spread it too thick, or yourself, too thin.

  TOOS (June 22 - July 22)

You sashay out this month, supremely and uncharacteristically confident, to… gamble? Wow, Toos! No one would have guessed that it’s you, there, grinning like a kid in your sharp sharkskin suit while you shriek "Red 28!" at the roulette wheel. Weren’t you just moping around a minute ago in your slippers, watching soaps, picking your nose? A great change has come over you, luckwise – play your hunches. Ask for a raise before the 9^th, but be sweet about it - bow low while you present the quarterly report.

  LARL (July 23 - August 23)

See Bosk, but without the fascinating extremes of excess. You’ll be just as needful – for attention, and you’ll get it. Finally the little picking worries that have been making your lovely mane thin out, will lessen. Venus, planet of love, luck, and hula dancers, will be in your sign through the 21^st. Play it up with getting limbo lessons, go dancing, get a diamond initial implanted in your tooth. You’ll be able to sleep better with one person on either side of you. Hee, hee.

 BARBARIAN (August 24 - September 23)

A protected month, especially in the latter half. After the 9^th, you’ll rid yourself of the compulsion for brutal honesty in your assessments of character for people who actually ask your opinion. Focus your clear vision on things in the planet that need your sense of ethics and eye for improvement – things that don’t necessarily involve people, until the midpoint of the month – get involved in an environmental group, learn to meditate, grub in your garden. After the 21^st, a perfect stranger may make his introduction, attracted to your clarity of vision of a more perfect world without things like Squeeze Cheeze and the television constantly on. Overcome some of your natural reticence and open up a bit.

  TEFA (September 24 - October 23)

A great month for you to get on the radio, or telephone, or public-access cable and let ‘er rip. After the 8^th, though, be careful whom you attract with that approach; you may find your fan club suddenly full of murderous zanies with your name in mind. An oblique approach is your specialty, finding a way to get your way done effectively in such a pleasant way, people often don’t realize they are doing your bidding. Be sure to give your subordinates plenty of that touchy-feely reassurance that only you can; otherwise, they’ll feel neglected and pout, and only you ordinarily are allowed to do that. Discover Schumann quintets this month; listen to then while you snooze.

  NAR (October 24 - November 22)

Recovered from last month? Good – we thought we’d have to get the baby powder for you. "Back to business" appeals to you now, and you buckle down to the task at hand with remarkable attention. Remember to show a little humility, though, to the ones who love you; it’s noble in a superior and charming in subordinates – your sweetie (s) may feel more than argumentative over minor relationship things this month. Let them rant and pat them on the head when they’re done. Drives ‘em crazy.

  RARIUS (November 23 - December 22)

You’re winding down, thank God, from last month. Time to fold up and make small, and let the drear responsibilities of adulthood creep in. Your time will come again to decorate perfect strangers with custard, we assure you. For now, let people come to you with their ideas; you make an excellent project manager this month, delegating duties and picking the best of ideas and rolling with ‘em. One of them could be a particular winner – get lots of behind-the-scenes feedback and make your pitch to the powers that be before the 20^th.

  VERR (December 23 - January 20)

Time to include other colors than gray and black into your wardrobe, dear Verr. You’re feeling unusually whimsical this month; maybe you’ll deliberately mismatch your socks (wild!) or add one tiny touch of red to your usual sartorial splendor. Make sure though, it’s not your cheeks: Be sure to pay attention to what your loved one (s) are saying to you this month; you’ll be strangely unreceptive to the difference between what they say and what they mean. Ask for help interpreting if you need it; don’t assume you understand just because the message seems simple. Be ready for some heavy-duty communicating and listening. Big important things will be said to you; don’t make decisions now, just put them off until next month. This is a month for gathering information only.

  THASSA (January 21 - February 19)

Everyone is still looking at you funny, even if you were able to keep your mouth shut last month. What are you doing that frightens people so this month? It’s a mystery; people just aren’t receptive to you right now; everything you say or try to communicate comes out in weird garbled messages. Slow down. Tune down your finely tuned radar by taking some time off of work and lie in a darkened room, maybe with a wet washcloth over your closed eyes, until you feel better about belonging to a world of such uncreative, dull people. After the 22^nd, you’ll be better equipped with how to cope. Until then, rest and relax. Stick to your homies and don’t let anyone new in.

  PARSIT (February 20 - March 20)

You will be particularly appreciative of your compadres this month, and want to lionize them until the last part of the month, lavishing them with attention and affection as only you are able to do. Sweet Parsit, you sacrifice too much of yourself that way, don’t you see? Like Toos, you are in the midst of a fortunate streak of luck – just be sure to aim some of your legendary generosity at yourself. Take a vacation, get a massage; if you don’t feel like you deserve it, wear sunglasses and put on a floppy hat and pretend you’re someone else. You do deserve it.

"Two Healers Who Have Found One Another"

In this Master/slave chart, a typical pattern is immediately seen: the slave’s Sun and Venus both are in the 7th house, natively (inner circle, both in Cancer/Leo cusp). This designates her natural love of family and home, and also that she was born for relationships - she’s basically a "people person". If you look to next outermost ring signifying the horoscope of her Master, you’ll see that the slave’s Sun and Venus "illuminate" parts of his 12th and 1st houses, respectively.

Now, this would have an unsettling, even jarring effect on most other close companionships; but on this relationship there is a healing effect. The Master’s Saturn, in Cancer, in the 12th house, designates a karmically "old soul", someone who feels existentially lonely from time to time. The slave’s Moon, Uranus, and Sun all contribute to "lightening" his hidden insecurities, comforting his fears ! (Moon/Saturn contact) and interjecting a note of wildness and humor on his blacker moods (Uranus/Saturn contact). She has a ’sixth sense’ about his moods and their origin. It’s as if she sometimes has emotional X-ray vision.

The slave’s Venus, in generous Leo, is directly placed on the Master’s 1st/12th house cusp. This signifies the Master’s attraction to outgoing, warm, gentle and generous women - his Moon in Sagittarius (10th house) shows that he was looking for a long time for a woman with a good sense of humor, who can act at times as a "social director", and is well-read and well-traveled. He has found this in his slave, and more. Pluto’s additional influence designates a sense of ’destiny’ of having met her. He is also possessive with her (his Pluto in her 7th house of marriage) and won’t share his "prize".

More intimately, her insecurities regarding her sexual appeal (Saturn, 8th house) is soothed and lightened by her Master’s gentle, even comforting, approach (his Neptune, Jupiter, and a healing influence, Chiron, all in her 8th house). Conversely, her Saturnian influence on his mind and communications (his 3rd house) causes him to become more sequential, disciplined, and organized in his approach. Perhaps she manages his correspondence, and makes sure the bills are paid on time. She may also "protect" him from outside jabber.

Schooling and her higher education are important to her, but she needs direction (Neptune in the 9th house gives much talent in higher education, but is a confusing influence). He will be lucky for her career and galvanize her direction (his Sun/Mars conjunction, along with the Moon and Mercury all in the 10th house.)

Lastly, they were both born to this type of relationship:

Uranus, the planet of eccentricity, falls squarely in his 5th house, of love and romantic relationships. The "echo" of destiny is also felt with the Master’s Venus falling directly into the slave’s 12th house (deeper psychology, fears, insecurities). He is a protective, soothing influence on her, and provides much of the same reassurance that she does, to him.