KAIILA (March 21 - April 21)

Last month’s unreasonable (well, to them) truculence should be cleared away by now, leaving nothing but your usual high spirits and enthusiasm in place, so lay off the coffee if you can do that without eating your nails off, or, Gods forbid, delicately nibbling your toenails when you think no one is watching. Use the nervous energy for good, especially after the 14th. Seize the opportunity to tackle long-forgotten projects you’ve been procrastinating about: clean out the garage, scrub the catbox, or have your slaves do it, that’s what they’re for. This is a good month to delegate tasks and balance your checkbook, clear the air (in a non-argument-fashion), and learn where your money goes if you don’t spend it all at the racetrack or the go-go bar, even if it is fun.

  BOSK (April 21 - May 21)

This is a great month for strengthening friend and family ties–everyone will be feeling especially maternal to you and want to feed you, which is right up your alley. Don’t criticize when some well-meaning kid or helpful sweet thang brings you breakfast in bed with burned toast and boiled coffee. It’s the gesture that matters. You’ll feel especially stubborn regarding your opinions, political stance, and every other word that comes out of your mouth or pen this month, but people will feel like they’re indulging you and go with the flow. Confounding and confusing, malign influences still abound, but it’s a background irritation. Enjoy homely comforts, drag your softest, most feely blankie out of the closet and cuddle.

  SE-SA (May 22 - June 21)

In like Elton John, and out like ..oh dear, ..hmm..Charles Bukowski? You begin the month with a zing, then slowly deflate, like one of those nifty Mylar balloons from the Shop-n-Safe. You’re coming off a high where you feel 13, and act 2, and people around you think you should act your age, you poor biscuit. Ignore them at your peril - it’s good to lie low again, especially after last month’s shenanigans. People are just as sensitive this month and are looking for a fight with your normally silver-tongued self. If you’ve socked away your money and at least can look responsible and adult, continue. If not, hide.

  TOOS (June 22 - July 22)

A protected month, especially after the midmonth mark. Very lucky for love, speculation, land: hey, why not talk your Stud Muffin or Danger Slut into buying you that charming villa with the pool? Or maybe just a little space to garden in, more modestly. This is a great time to stomp off into the woods for some summer camping, where you can happily sing Kumbaya like a seedy hippie round the campfire and burn your tongue on sizzling marshmallows. There will be plenty of candidates for your sleeping bag, so bring a double-wide, just right for a birthday celebration. If unmarried/uncollared and wishing otherwise, pop the question sometime around the 14th. You’ll have to wait about a decade until these fair winds, and this kind of luck, wafts your way again.

  LARL (July 23 - August 23)

Oy vey, holding forth again? Last month’s communications curse continues, along with the compulsion to write/call/broadcast/hold forth anyway that is driving you nuts. You’ll be feeling especially glib and witty through the midmonth period, which is about when people begin to jab back at you. Resist the poison pen and your tendency to begin letters “Honorable Messrs.” It’s soo, like, last century. Watch how they do it on “Crossfire”: sharp, clear, snappy facts, succinct summaries without sloppy [ad hominem] attacks, and they get to the point fast, dammit. You could learn a thing or two. The world is not yet ready for your genius. At end of the month everyone forgives you, anyway.

 BARBARIAN (August 24 - September 23)

At last! Though strange conflicts with oddly aggressive authority figures still threaten (lay low, but you usually do, anyway), you’ll be much better prepared to handle the sudden snarly attacks that happen. Next month will bring a lovely prize; this month, you’re still earning it, but you feel much less muzzyheaded and able to cope. Irritating reminders of responsibility that would throw anyone else into a midlife crisis or a second adolescence don’t ruffle you one bit, though they’re still here this month. Resist the temptation towards ruthless honesty this month; white lies sometimes preserve the peace, you know.

  TEFA (September 24 - October 23)

Behold the Tefa, dipping low on one side, then the other.. weighing each situation with sage contemplation.. symbol of the noble application of justice, logic and.. chocolate? You’ll need some. Your judgment will be called upon more than once this month, and the strange warlike streak of Tefa will come out when yet another person asks you how you feel about Situation X, Y or Q. You’re more drawn to action than feeling this month, to everyone’s horror. They thought you were so gentle, but you behave this month with almost inhuman efficiency. Try to make some room for other people’s emotions this month, which are nearly universally drippy and sentimental–you’re cool with that, usually–don’t throw out Boopsum the teddybear just because it’s collecting dust next to the Limoges.

  NAR (October 24 - November 22)

Great month for the Love Shack of Nar, if you don’t mind a few trespassers and snake-oil salesmen thrown in to the Jacuzzi, just for the company. Work stuff is coming to fruition about now, but the lunatic fringe tempts you with illusions of freedom and Work At Home In Your Pajamas. Don’t fall for it. Also don’t fall for people in the office this month–it’s generally a bad idea to start with, and mixing the two at once will be a particular disaster in August. Keep the two separate and you’ll stay sane.

  RARIUS (November 23 - December 22)

Wow! Austin Powers is bowled over by you this month. Where did you get that groovy shag-a-licious Groove, bay-bee? Last month’s hothead aggression and astonishing, outrageous sexual come-ons continue, often simultaneously in the charming way that only you can manage it. Get your ya-yas out by riding in grocery carts at the mall and dancing ‘til you puke at your nearest disco through the 15th, then collapse in a heap and recuperate for the rest of the time. Be ready for the usual chorus of I-Told-You-So’s and Why-Won’t-You-Grow-Up’s, delivered compliments of your boss, your mom, your dad, your soop-ur-vie-sor, the Vice President, and anyone else with an lick of sense. Snicker behind your hand when they do.

  VERR (December 23 - January 20)

Good thing your shoulders are so broad–lots of people will be wanting to slobber on them, still, this month. Roll your eyes towards heaven and sigh, wearily. Lots of forces still make themselves felt countering you this month, particularly in the love-and-squeezes arena, where you’ll wish your lovie-pie would simply stop asking for more spending money (remember, they spend to [feel] better, not just for Durable, Useful Objects) and take an accounting class and be responsible just like you. Alas, they won’t.

  THASSA (January 21 - February 19)

Time to stop talking now, at least up until the end of this month, where opening your mouth will again be a hazard but only to the people you love, whom you will insult, inadvertently. Ah well. That’s later. For now, any idea you have that you think is futuristic, new, logical, inventive, illuminating or just plain funny, won’t be, to most everyone else. If you have a blockbuster idea, write it down on a piece of paper and fold it up really small. Then eat it.

  PARSIT (February 20 - March 20)

Peaceful times generally for you now, particularly on the home front. That annoying, background ache regarding responsibilities past and present is still there (and will be, for quite a while this year), but you can cope with this very constructively. Lean on those close to you–they’ll nurture you in return; forgive at least four people this month, and believe three impossible things before breakfast. Your dreams this month may even have precognitive elements to them–write them down. In the ordinary world, writing and communication past the 14th fouls up, but it’s not irrevocable. Put off signing important documents if you can for awhile–at least be sure to read the fine print–ask people to whom you’re explaining things to repeat back what you said. You’ll be surprised at all the unintended garble.

"Two Healers Who Have Found One Another"

In this Master/slave chart, a typical pattern is immediately seen: the slave’s Sun and Venus both are in the 7th house, natively (inner circle, both in Cancer/Leo cusp). This designates her natural love of family and home, and also that she was born for relationships - she’s basically a "people person". If you look to next outermost ring signifying the horoscope of her Master, you’ll see that the slave’s Sun and Venus "illuminate" parts of his 12th and 1st houses, respectively.

Now, this would have an unsettling, even jarring effect on most other close companionships; but on this relationship there is a healing effect. The Master’s Saturn, in Cancer, in the 12th house, designates a karmically "old soul", someone who feels existentially lonely from time to time. The slave’s Moon, Uranus, and Sun all contribute to "lightening" his hidden insecurities, comforting his fears ! (Moon/Saturn contact) and interjecting a note of wildness and humor on his blacker moods (Uranus/Saturn contact). She has a ’sixth sense’ about his moods and their origin. It’s as if she sometimes has emotional X-ray vision.

The slave’s Venus, in generous Leo, is directly placed on the Master’s 1st/12th house cusp. This signifies the Master’s attraction to outgoing, warm, gentle and generous women - his Moon in Sagittarius (10th house) shows that he was looking for a long time for a woman with a good sense of humor, who can act at times as a "social director", and is well-read and well-traveled. He has found this in his slave, and more. Pluto’s additional influence designates a sense of ’destiny’ of having met her. He is also possessive with her (his Pluto in her 7th house of marriage) and won’t share his "prize".

More intimately, her insecurities regarding her sexual appeal (Saturn, 8th house) is soothed and lightened by her Master’s gentle, even comforting, approach (his Neptune, Jupiter, and a healing influence, Chiron, all in her 8th house). Conversely, her Saturnian influence on his mind and communications (his 3rd house) causes him to become more sequential, disciplined, and organized in his approach. Perhaps she manages his correspondence, and makes sure the bills are paid on time. She may also "protect" him from outside jabber.

Schooling and her higher education are important to her, but she needs direction (Neptune in the 9th house gives much talent in higher education, but is a confusing influence). He will be lucky for her career and galvanize her direction (his Sun/Mars conjunction, along with the Moon and Mercury all in the 10th house.)

Lastly, they were both born to this type of relationship:

Uranus, the planet of eccentricity, falls squarely in his 5th house, of love and romantic relationships. The "echo" of destiny is also felt with the Master’s Venus falling directly into the slave’s 12th house (deeper psychology, fears, insecurities). He is a protective, soothing influence on her, and provides much of the same reassurance that she does, to him.