It's that time of the month again. Time to have a seat around my table and discuss with me some things Gorean, and to listen to my words. Time to put forth a few more of my ideas and answer a few more questions on this way of life we call Gor. Before we start with this month's topic, I will take a moment to remind you that this column can be used to reply to any queries about the Gorean lifestyle that you may wish to ask. We had some e-mails from this last month addressing Gorean issues and issues related to my last column, and so before I present this month's topic, I will take some time to reply to those.

The first questions I shall answer are questions which were addressed to me personally, but which I think apply to all Gorean men. We received the following questions:

Why do Masters regard themselves as "hard to please, an asshole"?

When did Master realise he was different than most Men?

How did you handle that knowledge?

Have you ever felt that you have failed?

Interesting questions, and ones that I think many have asked at some stage. Although these questions could be asked of any man, each answer would most likely be different. So I will give mine.

Why do Masters regard themselves as "hard to please, an asshole"?

The answer to this is quite simple. I am hard to please. My likes and dislikes change perhaps daily; my preferences for how a slave should act are dependent on my current mood. It is impossible for me to write a manual on how a slave should act for me to find her always pleasing. If I do not even know from one day to the next how I would like to be pleased in a given situation tomorrow, then how is a slave to know? A slave must strive to be pleasing. Whether or not a man finds her so is entirely up to him.

As for being "an asshole", I present this quote from Explorers:

"It is a common property of human beings," I said, " that they, for better or for worse, do not pay much attention to the thoughts and feelings of others. Thus, it would not be surprising if most men did not pay much attention to the thoughts and feelings of women. If it is any consolation, they do not pay much attention to the thoughts and feelings of other men either."

Doesn't this clearly illustrate that men are assholes? Women too, perhaps. But it is my belief that slaves say "I don't care" a lot less frequently then men.

When did Master realise he was different than most Men?

In the literal sense, I have always known I was different. It was very rare that I found myself doing something that others did, merely because others were doing it. During my "rebellious" teen years, I rebelled by almost making a point of not doing something if others did it. As the old joke goes, if everyone else had been a rebel, I would have been a bank clerk.

This shows nothing more, of course, than independence and a resistance to society. The two obviously do not equate to being Gorean. If the question asked when did I realise I was Gorean, the answer is different. The Gorean way of life is extremely sexual - female submission, in any case, is sexual, be it cleaning boots, serving drinks, or merely kneeling in a man's presence. Consequentially many find Gor through BDSM, merely because BDSM is the enactment of sexual fantasies. As I emphasised in last month's column, the differences between BDSM and Gor are vast; the similarities few. One similarity though is the principal of dominance and submission: touched on in BDSM; realised in Gor. Therefore it was only after hearing of Gor through BDSM connections and learning from that point that I eventually found Gor.

I would argue, however, that a man who is a master is always a master. He does not require knowledge of Gor to know that he is a master, he needs only a knowledge of women. Further, I would say that a man can be Gorean without knowing of Gor - again, he does not require a knowledge of Gor, he need only live by Gorean philosophies. And when I remind you that Gorean philosophies are basically biological and instinctual, it is feasible to see that this is easily possible.

It is my belief that any man whom you now consider to be Gorean has always been so. Granted, the man may have changed over time; matured; grown in experience and wisdom; but the core of the man remains the same. Like a woman's slavery, sometimes the true nature of a man takes time to be discovered. Especially when you remember how society can cloud a man's true nature.

On occasion I have had men speak to me and ask me how they can learn to become better masters. As I have said, the potential to be a master lies within a man, or it does not. Therefore the only answer that I can give, and is needed, is: "Know yourself."

How did you handle that knowledge?

Pretty much in the same way I handled everything else about me. If it seems natural, sensible, a good idea, then I do it. Likewise, if it is something I can respect, then I will respect it. If it isn't, then I just shrug and say "I don't give a damn". This personal philosophy may seem naïve in it's simplicity, or macho in it's arrogance. If it does, I don't give a damn.

Have you ever felt that you have failed?

Oh yes. Hasn't everybody? What makes a man a man is how he deals with failure. Sometimes the temptation is to give up when you fail. It is sometimes easier to do so, and hard to pick yourself up again. I will not act as though restoring crushed self-confidence is easy. It is not, and I know it. I see this all the time in slave girls. Often they are treated in such a way as to be most discouraging. They may go for long periods without a positive word from a man. The girls that persevere are always eventually noticed. What is difficult, incidentally, is to maintain a positive attitude. Girls with negative attitudes are not always eventually noticed. Why? Because men don't like slave girls who whine, and they do like slave girls who giggle.

That answers the general questions. Now I will turn to the question relating to last month's column, asked by cumslut{T`K}. (While this seems to me a perfectly reasonable name, she likes to remind us that others may have known her previously by lili{T`K}).

cumslut wrote:

a girl respectfully responds to a particular sentence in your article:

"Merely because the Gorean society as illustrated in the books

makes no reference to such sexual acts does not mean that such things do not go on."Aside from sexual acts, a girl has heard those same words used to Justify many things; things such as

* a Master reaching into a humidor for a cigar and then smoking it in channel

* a Master ordering paga with chocolate syrup and whipped cream

* the presence of wolves on the planet

among many other things never mentioned in the books.

This one has also heard

"If it's not in the books, we cannot assume...."

-- by the same Masters who say

"Just because it's not in the books...."

seemingly dependent on the particular point they are making at the moment.

If certain things here online which were not mentioned in the books can be justified by the statement, "Merely because John Norman didn't write about it doesn't mean it didn't happen" -- why not other things? A "Gay Caste" perhaps -- the pink triangle brotherhood? A "Hairdresser's Caste" - made up of FW?

If we are going to 'invent' things, then who decides which 'inventions' are going to be accepted and those which will not be?

Respectfully submitting a comment and a question, with Master T`Kar's

permission,

cumslut{T`K}

<formerly lili{T`K}>

A question asked frequently in one form or another on ircGor. The answer is quite simple. The culture on Gor is quite different from that of Earth, and so is the technological level. This can answer most of the questions raised here. For example, let us take the FW Hairdresser's association. Many Castes allow equal participation from both genders. Of the high Castes, only the Physicians allow this, but of the lower castes, it is common. Therefore FW hairdresser's are not an impossibility, but it is part of a Caste and not divided by gender.

The world of Gor is fictitious, and given to us only within the pages of 25 books. Thus we are aware only of what JN decides to impart. If you wish to claim that chocolate syrup, wolves and white ka-la-na exist on Gor then do so. No man can disprove these claims, unless they exceed cultural or technical restrictions. (FW warriors are therefore out, as are Initiates with slaves, cans of paga, and fridge-freezers. Sorry.) If you wish to spend large portions of your life sitting in a paga tavern on ircGor arguing the toss about whether your paga can come with a straw, then feel free to do so. I will watch as you are laughed to the door.

The phrase "merely because JN didn't write it doesn't mean it doesn't happen" is valid, within the cultural and technological limits. Apply also your common sense. At the end of the day, the rules of the tavern you are in apply, and the ops have the final word. If you get kicked for deliberately testing the limits with cappuccino ice-cream, then expect no sympathy from me.

(Any questions submitted that have not been answered here will be answered in time by e-mail. Any questions which arrive after this month's column is submitted may be answered in next month's column or by e-mail. E-mail address at the bottom of the page.)

Without more ado, I turn to this month's subject for discussion: Control across irc.

A subject that was raised on the Gorcork recently caused me to think on this topic, which led to the following conclusions.

I believe it is possible to take a woman, and by forcing her to perform certain actions, give her no choice but to face her womanhood. The nature of her woman hood thus revealed to her, when coupled with the strong and dominant nature of the man who forced the awareness of her nature, results in that woman realising her slavery.

On Gor, any man who is strong enough (and I do not mean physically) to take a whip to a girl can so force this. On Earth, where we all live, it is not possible to take a woman off the street and whip her - men who wish to enslave a woman must resort to other measures. In the world of ircGor, a man is more limited still, in that all he has to work with are words, and the actions he types. That is what a man is judged by in this medium of communication. For better or for worse, and more often than not for worse, words are the only means that we have of judging a man on irc.

For what makes a man? Is it his presence? His words? Or is it nothing more, or less, than his actions? To these questions there are many answers; let us assume for now that it is all of these things and more. It is therefore possible to obtain a fair reflection of a man if you can be in his presence, hear his words directly, and see with your own eyes his actions. An idea of the kind of man you deal with can be obtained with two of these three things, but the overall image obtained would be sorely lacking if you are limited to only one of these three things. Is it not perhaps foolish to place your trust in a man whose presence you are in, but who does not speak or act? Is it not equally foolish to place your trust in a man merely on how you witness him act?

IRC provides the third combination - seeing the man's words without being in his presence, knowing his actions (beyond what he tells you) or even hearing his voice. It follows that irc is a seriously flawed medium which is dependent on those who trust easily (which is a synonym for "fool"), or those who are naive (about which the same could be said).

I may have offended many with that statement. I will go on to say, though, that irc provides an extremely positive medium enabling the interaction of like-minded people that without, would otherwise be impossible. Yes it is flawed. But until a better replacement comes along, it is all we have.

Fortunately, there are such men who's mere presence commands trust and respect, whose simplest actions provide insight into their being, and whose words can inspire even from a distance. These men, however, are few and far between. Those who believe all men are like this are fools. It takes time and experience to know those who are not, and even then, there is no guarantee.

So we have those few men on irc who can command trust and respect from slaves and other men, merely by what they type on a screen. With this in mind, let us turn back to the earlier subject, that of teaching a woman her belly, even across the limited medium that is irc.

The Goreans have a saying: For every woman, there is a man who is her natural Master. I would add to this: There are men so strong that women - all women, perhaps - can be made their slave. Understand that even for such men this is not an instantaneous process. Even Marlennus, the Ubar of Ubars, took an entire day to tame Vera, leader of the panther girls. I would be curious to know how long it would take him to tame her across irc, without the threat of hamstringing.

But do not sit and scoff, and underestimate the psychological and emotional levels that can be reached across this most unfriendly medium. Indeed, those of you who have experienced the Gorean lifestyle in the "24/7" "real life" format may not fully understand how much can be achieved across irc. But those of you who have never had a woman kneel at your feet in real life, and have never in actuality applied a whip to a slave can perhaps not fully realise the fullness of these acts, sensually, psychologically and emotionally.

We are all aware of the division between those who have been 24/7 in their past and those who have not. Many feel this experience in reality is required. Many understand too the argument that is frequently put forth: that it it takes only imagination to combine real-life "vanilla" experiences with Gorean philosophies and ideals as practised on irc.

As someone who has had real life experience with a slave, but has not yet traversed the hallowed ground into the "24/7 group", I stand in a neutral position from which I offer the following.

I take here the example of whipping a slave, for no other reason than it occurred to me first. (I am, at no point, making a connection to the pleasures of S&M. I speak purely from a Gorean point of view, and make no allowances from pain sluts and those who take pleasure in inflicting pain.)

The difference between whipping a slave on irc and in real life is considerable. This is the case for a number of reasons, but the two most important are these: First, the psychological effect on a slave in real life over irc can not be ignored. This is demonstrated throughout the books. This can not be equalled across a virtual medium, even when the slave "self-inflicts". (In other words, the slave applies to herself in real life whatever punishment a master gives her on irc). Second, to merely type "/me whips a slave" (and other eloquent variations thereof) takes no strength of mind or character. Anyone can type. The state of mind required to actually perform such an act in real life is completely different.

These two things combine to produce a most vital combination: the slave lies at the feet of a man, in pain, aware that not only does he hold the whip, but that he is strong enough to use it. She knows she can not "top from the bottom". This marks a crucial point. Let us say that up until now, the relationship has been only online. At this point, if any doubt remained, both know it is not a game.

So the importance of real life experience is clearly indicated, and has no equal. Who here has not read the many references in the books of Gor to the fear that a slave acquires for the whip of her Master? Who here is not intelligent enough to realise the effect of such a thing on the mind of a woman, when struck by a man? I ask you to think about that for a moment. Put aside the submissive whipping position the nude slave adopts. Put aside too the physical effect and the searing pain of the whip across her back. Put aside too the strong man standing over her, whip in hand. Though these things have a psychological impact, think only of the psychological impact of the slave's realisation:

"how DARE he strike me! He dared.... he dared....my god!...HE dared!...i have no defense. i fear him. i could run...".

And then:

"but wait...it is my desire to be in his control. i know he will control me. i see that he is strong, both in mind and body. what better man to be my Master?"

Excuse my artistic licence in this. But before you dismiss it, those of you with real life experience recall the expression in the slave's eyes when she lifts them to yours after her first whipping. And those of you with no real life experience, those of you with no lack of imagination, imagine the expression in the slave's eyes when she lifts them to her Master's after that first, unforgettable whipping.

Let us not lose sight of the point here. The point, quite simply, is that all things within a Master/slave relationship (and, for that matter, to a large extent, within a sexual relationship) are psychological. Whether they be feelings of love and adoration and respect, or feelings of fear, submission, lust, and the need for domination.

The bottom line is that anything psychological can be experienced across irc. Psychological effects do not require real life to create them. Therefore, it is clear that the depths of emotion that can be achieved by interaction across irc are not restricted; merely that the effectiveness that real life interaction provides on the creation of these psychological effects is not achievable.

In simpler words, don't knock those people with no real life experience. Imagination counts for a great deal, and the people I have met on ircGor are some of the most imaginative I have met anywhere. Did not Norman himself say that the Gor books required the reader to be intelligent and imaginative?

But too, do not underestimate the effectiveness of real life interaction.

On a lighter note, I take no responsibility for the cost inferred from booking plane tickets. And I would remind you all that slave whips have broad straps, in order that they do not permanently mark.

(Questions to be answered in this column can be sent to the Gorean Voice, The Gorean_Voice@hotmail.com