Sometimes I just sit and wonder why I write about particular subjects over others... In this case, several ideas came flying at me at once, some off the multitude of Gorean posting sites, and one or two from personal experience and tales of people of which I am acquainted. You could say that I have not only been reading and hearing about women in the workplace, but I have some wonderful tidbits of my own for this issue. The problem, of course, is that society is warped in such a fashion that it actually makes men and women behave quite differently from natural behavior patterns. And it is a relatively new phenomenon. Yes, throughout history there are a few examples of women who have come to be empowered. Yet, only in the latter part this very century have words "sexual" and "harassment" been coupled into a bond tighter than a Cosian merchant's grip on his last tarsk-bit. Can you imagine a serving wench a few centuries ago complaining that her outfit revealed too much of her breasts and going to the local magistrate for relief ? Or a milkmaid going before a king to report that the dairyman had squeezed her buttocks ? Of course not! But oh, the times they have a' changed....

    These days, there are few bastions of male sanctuary left in the world, and fewer of those within the borders of the highly litigative United States of America. I used to frequent a local restaurant, let's call it "Knockers", which was in close proximity to my abode. I once, in fact, sent a pair of boxer shorts with their logo to my brother-in-law which were promptly discarded by his wife. The place features females running about serving food and drink in as small an amount of clothing as required by local regulation. (Sounds akin to a paga tavern, eh?) Now, why any local politician would enact ordinance to clothe little hard bodied beasts is beyond me, but alas, they do wear tiny outfits.... So then, did one of the girls become angry at the mode of dress? No, they tend to get better tips that way. Perhaps one was fondled by a patron and blamed the management? No, they have ways of dealing with those situations. So what was the problem? Well, it seems that a more rotund woman wanted to shove her portly ass into the skimpy garments and join the fray, but was denied by the company. Now I ask you.... Is that a denial of civil rights? Or is that just plain ol' common sense?

    What a couple of buzzwords those turned out to be... civil and rights. Women have the right to equal pay. Women have the right to equal advancement. And damn it, women have the right to have men ignore their legs even if they wear a dress cut higher than the hair over Bill Gates' ears. I don't mind the pay or advancement, as long as it is merited, but don't lean over my desk wearing a low cut dress unless you want me to take a nice long look at what is presented. In addition, don't play the silly sexual innuendo games unless you expect me to be very frank in response. I once had a female coworker respond to my comment that something "really sucked" with, "Yes, but not as well as I do." I'm sure she expected a timid chuckle or a change of subject, but instead got a stare and a reply... "Show me." A few days later, when I was called to the mat on the incident, I do believe I would have had serious problems defending against her allegation that I had asked for "sexual favors" without the scrap of paper on which she had hastily scrawled her home phone number. Since she stated that she had absolutely no interest in me socially, everyone found it odd that I would have such a thing. I got lucky. She was transferred to a different department, and later proved that she had lied about me, but not to me.... Men, I will warn you. If it comes down to her word versus yours, you have as much chance at prevailing as a one legged man at an ass kicking contest.

    As I do with most of my columns, I researched the topic a bit so as not to look like a complete imbecile. I found, on the internet, an advertisement for "Crossing The Line" which is a "dynamic seminar" which "moves beyond legal definitions of sexual harassment to deal with the underlying causes so that managers and individual contributors can prevent and resolve incidents before they escalate." Hmm... Underlying causes. Perhaps it is because it is a natural event for strong men and beautiful women to find one another attractive? How odd.... Of course, it isn't quite that simplistic. This society has once again tossed itself a wicked curveball that is all but unhitable. Add women to a cauldron that was once filled with only men, add unreasonable expectation of equality, put in a pinch of libido and a dash of feminism, and you have brewed up a big pot of trouble. In my opinion, those bulky robes and opaque veils would certainly alleviate a few of these problems in the workplace.