Easing the Struggles

by kaylee{G}

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
- Louisa May Alcott

Lately, kaylee’s received quite a number of letters in response to her writings. Many of them have carried a common thread: struggling with some aspect of surrender.

Every slave’s path is unique. That’s why it is such a waste to try to compare your own surrender to anyone else’s ... each occurs at its own pace, contains its own struggles, brings about different responses in the slave involved. kaylee does not know a single woman who has not struggled with one aspect or another of her slavery. While such women may exist, the women kaylee’s befriended over the years have each stumbled somewhere along the way. This one certainly has over the years. She’s resisted. She’s had doubts. She’s screwed up, and feared she would never make it right. She’s questioned her capability to be the kind of property he wanted her to be. She wanted to quit- or more correctly- she feared she did not have the strength to continue.

Sometimes her growth as a slave, as a woman, was a beautiful process. Other times, the growing pains came in the form of skinned knees, gritted teeth and bitter tears. Oddly enough, when kaylee looks back, she recalls some of those tear stained moments and skinned knees as some of the most beautiful times of all.

In kaylee’s experience, surrender lessened a great deal of her struggles. When she crossed that threshold, it became a defining moment that changed her life. While she still stumbles from time to time, she finds nowadays that the vast majority of her difficulties come from a shift in her mindset. If she forgets her place, she might find herself struggling in her service. If she expects something that is not in alignment with her status as a man’s property, she makes her path much more difficult than it normally is. When kaylee finds herself stumbling in her service, she knows enough now to first look for those signs, and if needed, take steps to refocus. Nine times out of ten, it smoothes the way once more.

The things that kaylee has found to help her with her struggles are very basic- yet they have made all the difference in the world. As each slave finds her own unique path, not all slaves will find the same answers to lessening her own struggle. But perhaps, like kaylee, you may find them to be of some use and discard the rest.

Surrender: With surrender, kaylee has found acceptance comes much easier for her. She’s also found her ability to let go of things beyond her control has improved as well. While some men believe that females do not need to surrender to be owned (but obedience is required), she has also found that for her, obedience is directly related to her surrender. She is at a point where she cannot imagine her own enslavement without surrender.

Commitment: kaylee has always been extremely stubborn, and the man who owns her has taught her to channel that “single mindedness” into unwavering devotion and commitment. For that, she is grateful because there were times she wondered how she could continue, or whether she could let go to the extent he requires, and experience has taught her that sheer tenacity can carry her through times of self-doubt.

The understanding that “it’s not about me”: These words are so easy to say, but sometimes actions indicate otherwise. To live by these words was a different matter for kaylee. Fully accepting it was no longer her priorities, her measuring stick, her time frame on which things would be completed, her goals and definitions that mattered above all else was no easy task for kaylee. Yet embracing this idea cut down on so much self created conflict, and has brought her patience. The best way she can describe it is instead of being an independent body, she is his satellite. He affects every aspect of her life on whatever level he chooses to do so.

The ability to communicate openly, yet in accordance with one’s place: This is a topic kaylee’s explored before ( http://www.pantheus.com/TGV/archive102004/TGV/slave.shtml ). And it is one of the areas which has made a significant difference in her service to the man who owns her much easier once she understood how to communicate the way he expects. Not all men will want their property to communicate the way the man she serves expects her to, but it’s been a tremendous help for kaylee.

“It’s not fair!”: No matter how well someone is suited for their chains, the transition from “peer” to “property” can be difficult. It can be even more difficult if kaylee somehow expects that her life will be fair in ways that indicate equality between owner and owned. When she feels herself thinking “it’s not fair” she asks herself - is she looking at it through the eyes of a peer or property? Using the measuring stick of “peer” or “partner” or “girlfriend,” no, the way she is treated is probably not “fair.” But understanding and accepting her place as property - and all that entails - it is much easier to appreciate that she is treated fairly given her status in the dynamic. She is just not being treated as his equal.

That’s not to say that kaylee does not struggle. She suspects she always will find some areas of her service more difficult than others. But she finds that nowadays the challenges that do arise are much easier to keep in perspective ... and as a result, it is much easier for her to remain on her knees.

Until next month, she wishes you well.
-kaylee{G}

kaylee has been the household property of Gabriel for over five years, and together they have shared their passion for writing on his website: www.gor-on-earth.com. Future topics, suggestions, feedback, and questions are always welcome. kaylee can be contacted at: kaylee@gor-on-earth.com