KAIILA (March 21 - April 21)

We’re so glad you’ve had your rest. Now you can get up and---What’s that? Huh? Lacing up your boxing gloves again? Hoohaw! Here we go with another round from Kaiila. Now through the 13^th, you’re itchin’ to pick a fight with your neighbor, the postman, the milk delivery guy, the librarian, and dear old Dad – slow down! Your tendency to see a bull’s eye when there’s nothing but a shadow is exaggerated, and your urge to Teach A Lasting Lesson is laudable. Remember the "iron fist in velvet glove"? Just don’t discount the velvet glove part.

  BOSK (April 21 - May 21)

You’ll still be recovering from an overdose of Love Mojo from within your swank boudoir this month, and when you emerge into the painful light of day, be sure to check your teeth first. People will be unusually – shall we say – "direct" with you this month, and way too nosy - telling you about all sorts of unpleasant things about yourself that you’d rather not hear about, borrowing money, eating your food, and basically messin’ round wit’yo stuff. It drives you crazy to have people have their grubby HANDS on YOUR STUFF. Consequently, your nerves may feel like a banjo well past the 12^th , though it will ease a bit then. Your best time to talk to the boss would be after-hours following the 13^th.

  SE-SA (May 22 - June 21)

The parade of lunatics continues this month for you, with a touch of aggression thrown in. Theirs, that is – not yours. Protect yourself with Mace if you have to – there’s a lot of touchy people out there and you manage to put your foot in your mouth more often than usual. You, on the other hand, will be the universe’s Boffo toy- smiling goofily as they pop you in the mouth and come wobbling back up for more. Lovable you! Luck is with you still, but dig down and settle in after the 13^th, protect your wallet.

  TOOS (June 22 - July 22)

The 19^th and 20^th will be particularly groovy for you. Wrench yourself away from the keyboard and putter about in the neighborhood or the garden – you’ll find a golden ring among the nastursiums, or a really good bargain at the antiques shop, something someone overlooked, or, if you’re not the buying or gardening type, a previously undiscovered jewel in the rough. You have a great eye for this in July; you’re about to begin a luck streak that will last you quite well through a few months. You finally get to those boxes in the garage for the Antiques Road Show or list everything you’ve been "saving" (read: hoarding) on eBay, to the delight of your honey. Plead for that special birthday present.

  LARL (July 23 - August 23)

We won’t blame you if you’ve not gotten yourself out of bed yet, or are pretending to be a lump hidden deep in the forest. Mass confusion, wild speculation, brutal honesty, insane hippies, and the like unfortunately bedevil you through this month of your birthday. Despite the urge and your delusions of luck, don’t gamble (figuratively or literally) at all this month. To top it off, you’ll let loose with some weird proclamation or manifesto of your own near the 30^th and 31^st, so just lay low on those days and stay away from megaphones, regular phones, chain letters and the like – e.g. computer programs that mass-email things for you. You’re likely to touch off a riot or a run on the bank. Lumps in the forest don’t do those things. Practice your Zen meditation and keep getting enough sleep.

 BARBARIAN (August 24 - September 23)

Well – have you gotten a grip yet? Poor baby. You are indeed the weakest link this month – but no one can afford to dismiss you, as even in your frayed state, you are STILL the most competent, level-headed soul around. People will say all sorts of wild, ill-though-out and uncouth things – especially authority figures, Bosses and the like – but don’t take it personally. Tell yourself it’s just the product of the New Economy, Tex-Mex-Flavor Spam or maybe the crazy-making ubiquity of Rob Schneider, but it’s not meant to be aimed at you. Just the person *behind *you, but that’s rather beside the point to the people aiming this month. It will calm for you somewhat after the 13^th.

  TEFA (September 24 - October 23)

A fairly breezy and calm month for you, considering everyone else around you is going bonkers. Important adult (no, not porn) news will come to you this month – stuff having to do with estate planning, property rights, mortgages, houses, and the like. Your sweetie will become an Awful Pout sometime after the 14^th, so tread lightly around them; be your usual sweet, diplomatic self when you see them clinging to the banister and weeping hysterically. Bring them a cuppa tea and let them wipe their noses on your tie.

  NAR (October 24 - November 22)

Lucky month for you – if you can keep your usual low and cool profile, and keep calm through moments of confusion. Keep your goals clearly in mind. Use those neat sunglasses with the mirrored shades, the ones that make people scared to look you in the eye, so you can concentrate better. It will all begin after the middle of the month, when business deals, and yes, love pursuits will start falling into your lap like lovely and ripe plums – devour at will.

  RARIUS (November 23 - December 22)

You’re acting like Doctor Strangelove this month, and people are getting really scared. Aggressive, impulsive – yeah, that’s usually you, but this time you’re all wrapped up with overtones of seriousness that don’t match really well with your usual boogie-prone self. It looks good on you, this new seriousness – lends an air of nobility and royalty. Unfortunately, you feel more like Churchill than MacArthur, with your black moments of depression following swings of optimism about romantic loves. Calling Your Ex Is A

Bad Idea.

  VERR (December 23 - January 20)

A good month for you up until the middle, where suddenly everyone will get all <sensitive>, the way you hate it, misconstruing everything you say and being all squishy. Ignore this phenomenon at your peril; close relationships will suffer if you insist on principle over circumstance this month. Strange insecurities regarding your intellectual competency abound; bounce your ideas off a trusted friend before broadcasting them.

  THASSA (January 21 - February 19)

You still have that strange antenna to the eccentrics of the world this month; up until the 30^th, you have everyone’s ear as well. Mesmerize people with your plans to build a hovercraft of bottlecaps, a stick-shift drivable bed, or hook the television to the BBQ/car/washing machine/blender. Unfortunately, not all of these plans will be very well thought-out, and you inevitably will sound like you are raving to the less imaginative types. Who needs ‘em anyway? As long as they’re not someone you’re trying to impress, the boss or your in-laws or the mayor or something. The 6^th through the 14^th is especially good in the love and smooches department.

  PARSIT (February 20 - March 20)

Struggles with people close to you peak around the 14^th, then level off to a low-level and annoying grittiness, like sand in your shoe. Ignore it for now, and go with the flow even if it feels weird. There’s a lot of friction in the universe for you right now, but some friction can be a good thing (stop blushing!) – it can force you to re-examine life goals, or at least get you to reorganize the kitchen and clean your closet. Big, transforming changes are in store for you this month – this momentary static will pass, but use the time now to examine your motives and look for insight regarding others’ gears too. Don’t trust what people say this month- see what they do, instead.

Master-Slave Astrology

Free chart courtesy of astrodienst.com

BONUS: COMPOSITE CHART for Master and slave –

Master: Born 23 April 1970, time unknown

Slave: Born 30 July 1970, time unknown

A ‘composite’ chart in astrology takes the birth time information for both (or more than two) participants and combines them together in one chart for comparative purposes. A ‘synastry’ chart shows all planetary positions for both people at the same time without combining them. Both are useful tools: the composite chart shows how the relationship as a whole feels (like seeing a painting from a great distance away) and the synastry chart will show the finer levels of detail and the individual motivation for behaving in the certain way within the relationship.

It is thought that astrology can predict how one person will also act and react to another by pressing unconscious, hard-wired "triggers" – for good or bad – in the others’ psychology, according to the natal configuration of planets at the person’s birth. Aggression, sexuality, modes of expression – all of this can be modified, weakened, or magnified according to the person’s natural proclivities as well as the "triggers" in the other person’s astrological makeup. "As above, so below".

This chart is for a slave born 30 July 1970, and a Master born 23 April 1970. Since the birthtime is unknown for both querents, midnight is used as the standard default.

If the composite/synastric chart is thought of as an x-ray, the "skeleton" of any close relationship can be seen using the chart. There are many major points to consider, but for purposes of simplicity, two to consider are:

In Any Close Relationship:

+ Position of Venus: Venus governs love, romantic feelings, desire for family, and "nesting". Beneficial positions include contacts (trine, sextile, conjunction) with the Moon, position in the 7^th house of marriage, or the 5^th house of romantic liaisons.

+ Position of Moon: The Moon governs the emotional timbre of the relationship, emotional expression, artistic ability, and how children are treated. Beneficial positions for the Moon in a composite chart are a close contact with Venus (trine, sextile, conjunction), close contact with Mercury (communication), or position in the 12^th, 7^th, or 4^st houses (gentleness, protection and nurturing).

Specifically for Master/slave astrology, other planets should be considered.

Pluto: Is the Master polyamorous or generous with his slaves? Or is he possessive and jealous with only one girl? The position of Venus and how it relates to the planet Pluto in the composite chart will tell. Generally, "close" formations between these planets in a "synastry" chart (conjunction or sextile) show that Master and slave are very possessive of each other and will not tolerate many other attachments without becoming suspicious or jealous. An opposition in the synastry chart shows struggles with emotion about additions to the chain and great insecurity. The position of Pluto also shows the greatest "lessons" to be taught by both Master and slave to one another. Pluto is called the ‘karmic teacher’, and also shows the areas of greatest insecurity and risk for both partners. Here, a composite chart is more useful than a synastric one, as the combined Pluto points out a ‘sore spot’ where there can often be major disagreements or subconscious fears, and often where the slave has the most lessons to learn.

Similarly, Saturn is the "taskmaster" planet, teaching about responsibility, lessons, and authority. The position of Saturn in the slave’s chart often belies her feelings and attitudes surrounding men (as Venus and the Moon do, in the man’s chart). The position of Saturn in the combined chart shows where the couple’s fears lie regarding money, male relatives (particularly their own fathers), financial investments, and the ‘foundation’ of the relationship.

The chart attached shows the composite chart for this couple: let’s read it.

First, note the high preponderance of planets in the 5^th and 7^th houses. Both of these are "relationship" houses in astrology: the 5^th house has more to do with love, pleasure and romance, whereas the 7^th has more to do with marriage and more "grown-up" ways of relating. The Moon (how the Master feels about women, and how they relate emotionally together) is in the 7^th house (marriage) and in Virgo. This is a rather cool placement, but shows that the Master feels that logical, sensible women with their feet on the ground are more attractive to him than a spacy, vague type. Emotionally, the relationship will be more "home-based" than far-flung, yet there is a sense of the unconventional at home (Uranus is the planet of change, and is also here in the 7^th house). The Master also hates nagging women (a particularly Virgo trait) and so the slave must learn to remind him to do things in a particularly diplomatic way.

The 5^th house is also full with three planets: Mars (aggression and sex), Venus (love, affection) and Mercury (communication). Venus and Saturn (see below) have a beneficial aspect (the sextile); lovemaking is usually more comforting than passionate, and both partners feel very possessive about one another, sometimes even ‘clingy’ to the point of codependence. The Sun in the 4^th house reinforces this feeling of "family" and nesting (the 4^th house is the natural house of the "homemaker’s sign", Cancer). Communication sometimes suffers, however (Mercury-Uranus square, conjunct Mars) and either will have to bite his or her tongue to avoid arguments related to their unusual living arrangements (Uranus in the 7^th house). Constant, open dialogue is heavily emphasized here, and both partners must be careful not to overdramatize.

Saturn, the planet of fathers, older men, lessons, and responsibility, is nestled at the bottom of the composite chart in the 2^nd house (possessions, stability). The slave and Master both may feel that they need to possess a solid "foundation" of tangible assets first before venturing forth into the world, or they may be especially careful with money and expenses. Their male relatives will have a deep impact upon the relationship, most likely a beneficial one (note the trine, or beneficial aspect between Pluto in the 7^th house and Saturn in the 2^nd). An inheritance, invested to start a new home, would be a good example. There are heavy karmic lessons here for both Master and slave, and this is the perfect type of relationship to bring out these lessons.