By kessia{Sage}

In trolling for topics about a month ago, kessia was sent some really great ideas. Amongst them was a question about slaves' persistence in presenting themselves in online environments that do nothing to hone their service skills, or help them explore themselves. She thought it was an interesting question, and it got more applicable the more she thought about it.

See, kessia has a dirty little secret: She still goes to chat. She is not referring to discussion, or discourse, but chat. The silly little D/s rooms, the kassar speaking Gorean rooms, all the places that are to the mind as sugar is to the teeth. She has no real reason for logging on; it doesn't improve her service, it doesn't teach her magnificent truths about herself. Except....it's fun.

The funny thing is, kessia is not the only girl with this dirty little secret. She sees all sorts of names she knows as she wanders around the chat rooms. We exchange small pleasantries, and never admit we have seen each other in any place other than the more reality based rooms. Some of us are in long distance situations; some of us live with our Masters. The thing that is common is that we all visit venues that do not seem to add anything to our service, or ourselves. Or do they?

Most of us know that living in a non-negotiated relationship is not a cakewalk. Certainly parts of it are easy and fun, but other parts require a tremendous amount of mental energy. Being constantly mindful of tone, having things removed that one has taken for granted, being 'on call' all the time, is hard. Needing Master while He is a zillion miles away, waiting for it to be time to be near Him again is terrible.

In the books, girls had kajuralia to look forward to, as a time to play, be silly, and not worry so much about punishment for failing to please the free. Here, we have no such holiday, so many of us make our own sort of kajuralia to help burn off excess energy and attitude. Some might crank the stereo and act silly around the house, some find release through exercise, and some burn it off in chat, expressing themselves as permitted in a discussion or by visiting a more playful room. Most of us do some combination of these things and we feel better for it.

So, this useless pastime does have some use, although it is not as edifying a use as it could be. Chat functions as a release, as an entertainment, much the same way that slaves in the books were taken to slave fights or the theater. It is a privilege, a distraction that provides a vent for everyday tensions. She believes it also helps ease some of the monumental loneliness that one feels as a girl becomes more aware of her needfulness. Time alone, craving the Master of the house does do a girl some good, but too much time can weigh like a stone.

As with most things, there are a couple of catches, most especially in traveling around the non-Gorean rooms: Most people in these other rooms teeter on the edge of being rabidly hateful toward Gor, Goreans, and girls of Goreans. Getting in the middle of a "Gor stinks" rant-fest is not much fun, though it can help a girl work on her temper control. The sub-set problem to this one is dealing with the "why your Master is an abusive freak" speech that so many ladies feel the need to give once they find out there is no time out, no saying "no". There is no answer to either of these speeches/rants that will satisfy everyone, so one does need to develop the ability to shrug it off, just the same as one has to shrug off some of the things one sees in the less book-based Gorean rooms.

Failing to shrug off some of the junk that happens in chat is probably the largest reason that so many of us get removed from chat or remove ourselves : We stop seeing these other venues as a place to have fun, possibly learn something and answer questions and start taking the criticism, the attitudes, and the B.S. seriously. Certainly, some thought provoking things can happen in any chat room, but the soap operas, the gossip and the nonsense need to be left behind when one logs off. Otherwise, it has the potential to become something that effects one's attitude. Take it seriously, and it effects service and once it effects service it stops being a harmless pastime.

Even in the books, kajuralia wasn't forever.

Best to all,

kessia{Sage}