The Basis of a Practical Relationship Between a Man and His Woman

Unmitigated Honesty

2 of 4 in the series part 1 is: HERE

I started this series with the basic principal of compatable sexual expectation, and will now focus on my second point of theory. That theory is unmitigated honesty, and I believe it is one of four roots to a successful relationship.

Unmitigated honesty.

I am going to break both words down so there will be no confusion in my words as I present them to you.

Unmitigated;

pure, unadulterated, unalloyed, absolute

Honesty;

probity, goodness, justness, morality

The terms of relationships, the statistics that haunt them are failing us miserably. It seems moreso then ever our holy union of marriage lasts about a full three years, and ends with 1.5 children, and fighting over the dog. I believe that honesty is part of this failure mingled with the fear of opening up our true nature to potential spouses, and even family. One partner cannot possibly shoulder the entire relationship unfortunatly. Both must actively participate in such earnest beginings, and never disregard or take for granted the choices that brought them together in the first place. I believe this to be called in portion, unmitigated honesty.

Step 1. The fear of sharing your desires, and needs openly with a mate.

This fear must be conquered, and taken to different levels. Gorean philosophy indicates that women are given a gift present day Society lacks. The control to be feminine, and a woman. That does not mean a free woman is silent or dorminant. It simply implies that they have no need to hide from their companions needs. Nor fear her own needs in that union. In part I believe a free woman was created in Norman`s fiction as the one who would willingly bare children, and build a home. It was no secret the ratio of free women to slaves were forty to one. It was no secret slaves could be taken for no more then a drink of paga. It seems through my reading that free women were valued in a home, and by that they were desired as well.

Step 2. The truth of your identity, and presenting facts not fiction.

It is absolutely important that when you have decided by your heart a fellow whom you wish to be with, you do not lie. There can be nothing built on deceits that will withstand storms. If you truly love, desire, and wish to be with someone give them enough credit, and enough courtesy to be honest and forthright. As many folks meet on the net, it is increasingly important to be aware of facts, rather then character play, and fantasy. The net may be easy to hide features that can`t be seen, but behind each keyboard is a real person listening to you, extending faith in you. A very important fact is you must be honest with yourself, and your needs before you offer yourself to another person. Going blindly into a relationship hoping that person can read your mind is immature at best.

"Should not, rather, one be more ashamed by deceit, rather than the truth? Can there truly be a greater honor in hypocrisy than in honesty? It does not seem so. I then realized how bravely you had trusted me and revealed this to me. My outrage gave way to gratidude and admiration. Simularly I asked myself, why was I scandalized. Was this not connected with hidden fears of my own, that I might discover complimentry needs within my self, the need to own and be a master? Your confession, so expresses and poignant, tended to undermine a deceit of free persons. You had dared, it seemed, to break the code of hypocrisy. Had the gate to barberism been left agar? I regretted, for a time, the loss of the lie. We grow fond of our myths. yet our myths are like walls of straw. Utimately they can not protect us. Ultimately they must perish in the flames of truth."

- Guardsman of Gor pg 257-

"What is morality?", she asked. "Judgement to distinguish right and wrong, vision to see the truth, courage to act upon it, dedication to that which is good, integrity to stand by the good at any price." - Ayn Rand -

Step 3. Understanding the nature of the relationship that suits you.

It is incrediably important that you know yourself well enough to decide what kind of relationship suits your life. Will one presented in the philosophy of Gor be enough, or too much for you to accept. In this very specific relationship there are many clear cut ideals, Norman has presented. It is not an either/or conclusion in making this choice for yourself. As a free woman based in reality your position to your mate is not an equal. In that reality there is no room for tarns, and urts. it does not qualify a free woman bending down to all men in her vicinity. A free woman should have the tools to enable her the right choices about those she surrounds herself with.There is much space for growth, and understanding in the philosophy, and also in the complex relationship you have chosen to be part of. The bottom line here is simple, you must be *willing* to share your fears, honestly with the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. They deserve that much from you.

The truth gives us freedom to be who we were meant to be. Forthright, honest, and no barriers to our love. Women have been known in past times to be caregivers, and nurturing souls. I think that it could only be to our benefit to ensure these traits return tenfold when dealing with our personal relationships. Afterall, life is too short as it is.

Gor was never about bullies, or power exchange. It isn’t about unsolicated sex, or some form of bdsm kink.

It is a natural order under all the fiction. The tricky part is applying it to your lives, and sharing it with those you love.

Nyre

Copyright © Nyre 2001

To be continued...... Acknowledging Value; Three of Four