By kaylee{G} and jodi

Spirituality
by kaylee{G}

So often we hear slaves say that “My Master owns me, body, mind and soul.” While kaylee does not know if a soul can actually be owned by another, she believes that spirituality can be a powerful part of one’s slavery. Because this is such an intimate topic that is unique to each individual, this one also asked a friend to speak of her own experiences as well. Thank you, jodi, for lifting your voice with kaylee’s own on this topic. She is grateful you took the time to do so.

Growing up, kaylee did not consider herself to be a very spiritual person. Part of this slave’s education took place in a Catholic school system, but over the years, that part of her life seemed to be less and less important compared to other challenges in everyday living. Life seemed so busy, it was just very easy to turn her focus elsewhere.

As she matured into adulthood and attempted to understand herself, it was natural to become more introspective. This one grew much more aware of her emotional landscape and how it affected her growth as a slave. When she is not attuned to her spirituality, her actions are controlled by her emotions. During these times, it can seem that she is drowning in her feelings, and that her struggles and thrashing about, warring against herself, just squanders her energies. But being mindful of kaylee’s emotions helps her choose how to respond to them, instead of letting them control her.

Someone shared a quote with kaylee during a particularly difficult time, which made her really stop dead in her tracks. These words spoke to her of acceptance and patience:

This one discovered that becoming spiritually aware was instrumental in kaylee’s slavery. Without being consciously aware of her emotions and choosing to relinquish her resistance, acceptance is infinitely more difficult. She does not believe she could have surrendered to her owner without learning to accept. And without that surrender, she could not be enslaved.

For kaylee, spiritual surrender is about learning to let go, and accepting life for what it is, not what she wishes it could be. By learning to let go, she does not mean quitting or settling for less out of life. It doesn’t excuse her from striving to succeed. For kaylee, it’s more of a moment of recognition, of knowing that she is at a certain place in her life: this is the way it is right now; holding onto anger or resisting acceptance will only hamper her from moving forward. This one cannot change the past- her choices are focused on what she can do from this point on, to the extent that she is allowed.

All of kaylee’s resistance actually made her own journey harder than just the sheer acceptance of her reality, along with the full responsibility that goes along with being in her reality. Spiritual surrender is not something she could have tried to do: the very fact that it was ‘letting go’ makes it impossible for this one to force upon herself. She certainly could not have surrendered to someone else if she could not learn to let things go.

Acceptance and surrender have provided kaylee with a sense of peace to her soul. That serenity allows her improved focus on serving, to live with humility and gratitude, and a stronger sense of faith. It has opened her up, not only to her owner but allowing her to be open to the idea of a higher power in her life again. The harmony that kaylee feels also gives her strength, for which she is grateful- the path of a slave carries its own challenges and every ounce of strength helps kaylee take the next step. It has made this slave’s service more profound than she ever expected.

kaylee has heard it said that slavery is a spiritual vocation for some, similar to the religious calling of a priest or nun. A girl would not presume to describe herself as being so called, but she does have a deep rooted desire to serve something greater than herself and to find harmony within her service to another. This one is fortunate to slake that thirst inside her soul through serving her owner. It fulfills her.

While kaylee cannot say that her owner owns her soul, she can say that her service to him is soulful.

Until next month, she wishes you well.
-kaylee{G}

kaylee has been the household property of Gabriel for nearly five years, and together they have shared their passion for writing on his website: www.gor-on-earth.com. Future topics, suggestions, feedback, and questions are always welcome. kaylee can be contacted at: kaylee@gor-on-earth.com

Faith and Worship
by jodi

Like most people reading this, a girl has many labels: parent, offspring, sibling, friend, co-worker, employee ... on a more personal level is another label: submissive woman. This girl is one person within these many labels.

It is through this maze of labels that she has found herself seeking balance - a balance of her higher powers. You see, a girl is both the humble and devoted servant of God, and the humble and devoted servant of a man.

While this girl has devoted years to her active service to a man she utterly worships, she had begun questioning whether her worship of God had not been placed on a back burner because of it. She had questioned whether her perception of this man had turned him into a false idol in her eyes. Truth is, she has spent many fearful hours in reflection on this and similar questions.

It was with this internal conflict in mind that this girl decided to see The Passion of the Christ. She had harbored an interest in seeing the film from the moment she had first heard of it.

As a girl began considering her twin loyalties to a perfect God and a necessarily imperfect man, she realized how often parallels could be drawn.

The God she worships cares for her, and she knows that she would be welcome in His presence provided she makes wise choices. The man she worships does this very thing as well - as long as the choices she makes are pleasing, she is permitted a place in his presence. The choice is ultimately hers, and this girl is generously given the free will to make these choices for herself.

Through teachings, reflections, and her own studies, she has a greater understanding of what sins would offend God, the sins she dares not commit. After years of his patient guidance and generous answers to her many questions, this girl has become keenly aware of what offenses anger this man she serves.

As the opening of The Passion of the Christ drew nearer, it seemed that the more this girl read, the more thought she was giving to her choice to see this, until it dawned on her that this story of love and sacrifice is also a story of obedience.

In another parallel, when this girl doubts - when she loses her faith - she has finally realized that it has never been about her faith in God, or her faith in this man who allows her to be so devoted to him. The faith she has misplaced is the faith in herself they have both instilled in her. Both God and the man she has served permit her the freedom to make her own choices - to stand or to fall based on nothing but herself and the many lessons she has learned through the years - lessons taught by their hands, either directly, or indirectly.

As a girl walks along this path of both God and man, she finds a favorite quote continuously springs to mind: “Faith doesn't mean that you never doubt. It only means that you never act upon your doubts.”

Because of God’s perfection and love, this girl has grown to be a devout woman. Because of a man’s imperfection and care, she has become a woman of blind faith, and, she believes, a better servant to each of her higher powers.

Wishing you well,

~ jodi

jodi currently lives in a suburb of Seattle, Washington, and can often be found online dabbling in various graphics programs. Occasionally she invests her time updating her website at http://geocities.com surrendered_whispers/index/html. jodi can be contacted at: X-jodi@yahoo.com.