Proper Behaviour

By Kittiara

Tal and greetings,

In previous articles I have mentioned many a time respectful behaviour of free women in Gorean society, and knowing our place.So let us look this month into proper free woman behaviour.

The books tell us that free women were taught when growing up how to walk, cook meals, the care of a man’s equipment, all things to prepare them for if they would happen to fall into slavery one day. This is not so different than in our society, where many a girl too learns how to cook and do chores, how to behave a lady and be well mannered with respect to other people. Yet a free woman, within a free companionship for example, does not commonly tend to domestic chores. This is seen as beneath her and left to slaves, public or owned.

How is this relevant to understanding proper behaviour of a free woman in Gorean society, and in our own lifestyle? To understand the behaviour of a free woman in realistic terms is not as simple as it may seem. When adapting Gor to our own daily lives, it is much easier to understand the role of a slave, and the fit behaviour of the slave towards her Master or Mistress. Almost all the major free woman characters of John Norman’s novels were arrogant, cold, even treacherous women who ended up as slaves. Too, many a time it is stated in the books that all women should be slaves. Yet if we look at the figures of only 2 to 3 percent of women of Gor actually being slaves, a free woman must have had some important role in the Gorean society that kept men from following through the above statement.

Free women were part of the Castes and even active within them. Free women were mothers and taught their children, a role unfit for slaves in the books. Some free women we read about end up in positions of power, great power even, such as Tatrix, Ubara and Administrator of a city.

Yet, too, a free woman may be punished, although less harshly as a slave. And a free woman may be enslaved, due to a raid, or debts or improper behaviour.

So now we get to the point. What IS proper behaviour for a free woman?

A woman would not be commonly enslaved for being bold or even insolent to a man. “A free woman may often make a man angry with impunity, she being lofty and free, this latitude is seldom extended to the slave.” Blood Brothers of Gor, p.221. Yet as a free woman is muchly respected in Gorean society, and treated with courtesy and honour, I expect she will too show men this same respect and courtesy and honour. She knows what a man could do to her, she knows one day she may be at the mercy of men. Too, they share a Home Stone, and she may depend on him, for business reasons or personal reasons. She has been raised to respect men, has been taught even how to submit to a man as that may one day save her life. In some cities, she may not even leave the house without consent of a male relative or her free companion. A lady would not commonly be rude. Nor would a free woman behave as sexually as a slave would, as this would be beneath her status and may earn her a collar around her neck.

So how does this translate to real life?

Within the lifestyle, a free woman respects men and behaves with honour, integrity, loyalty and honesty. If she has a companion she will treat him with such values. She may advise him and be there to listen to him. She knows he may correct her, and she will respect this. She may speak her mind but will know when it is wise to refrain from doing so, and will not push him too far. It is not uncommon for a free woman in the lifestyle to be a good hostess to her guests, and to tend to her man.

I would advise free women who find it hard to find their role in the lifestyle, to simply use common sense. Do not let your pride, or even fear, turn you to disrespect or rudeness. You will often find that men respect knowledgeable women, and will listen to their words and even value them. Many find intelligent women pleasant company. Do not try compete with slaves for a man’s attention, for it will not earn you respect, and in fact it may seem you wish a collar.

Just be you. That is all anyone expects you to be.

I wish you well,

Kittiara

PS I welcome any comments on my writings, or any ideas or suggestions for future articles.

Simply email me at