It has been asked in other forums where the leaders of tomorrow will come from’ This one can only speculate that they will come from here and people like these who give of themselves without thought of personal reward or acclaim. In this and future months’ columns, we will get to learn more about the people who post on various forums. One of the suggestions has been to write a column on different relationships, such as a free man and a free woman involved in free companionship, a free man who has a slave living with him, and a free man who has had a long-term ownership with a slave on-line. It might also be interesting to explore the realities of slavery from a slave’s viewpoint. Any suggestions on others that you might like to learn more about, or people who are involved in the various relationships and would consent to be interviewed would be greatly appreciated.

He lounged back on the couch, the freshly brewed aroma of coffee wafting up from the cup held between large hands. The springtime English weather provided a misty backdrop as we talked about the past. Born in Cornwall in 1958, the rugged southern tip of England, Maitre Charon, as he is known to the fencing and on-line communities, now resides in Birmingham, England, a very cosmopolitan city. In fact, it was his fencing students who first gave him the name of "Charon." Just like the mythical rower, his students can attest to the price paid by those who deem themselves worthy enough to lift a blade and fence against him. The 'Maitre' portion of his on-line name comes from "Maitre d'escrime" or "fencing master."

Charon, in classical Greek mythology, the son of Erebus and Nyx (Night), whose duty it was to ferry the souls of the deceased who had received the rites of burial over the Rivers Styx and Acheron, in payment he received the coin that was placed in the mouth of the corpse.

"It’s a nickname given by my fencers; probably a bit of a comment, since the quote was ’sooner or later, everyone pays the ferryman’."

Maitre (the French word for ’Master’ and one that he permits those who know him well to call him rather than ’Master’) has long been a student of ancient history, so it was only natural that we discussed whether he saw any one event in history as being responsible for shaping modern society.

"Mmm, difficult question. Probably not, since history tends to be a flow, rather then a dotting of events. The things that shape a society are not point events, but a shift in the attitudes of its members, a gradual change from one to another."

Given his love of history, it was not surprising that on his travel wish list was both Crete and Greece. He would love to see the site of the palace at Knossos.

"Such a major leap of faith for the man who uncovered it, and such determination to achieve his goals. Arthur Evans discovered it. Like Schliemann at Troy, he only had the very early Greek myths to go by and at that point in history, no one really believed them. But the pointers to the Minoan and Mycenean cultures were to strong to be ignored, he felt, myth or not."

Maitre’s formative years were spent in a very traditional household as an only child. His father worked, while his mother stayed at home and ran the house. It was, as in Gorean households, always very clear who had the last word on any decision. While his father may have discussed his decisions, or not, dependent upon how he felt, Maitre was always aware that his father felt the responsibility for providing the home and, therefore, the final say was his also.

"I think my home environment was highly conducive to individuality, and to being what you are, or want to be regardless of the opinions of society."

Perhaps it is because he believes that one cannot be taught to be Gorean, they either are or are not, he credits his father and grandfathers with influencing him and instilling Gorean traits within him.

"I would probably have to say the examples set by my father and grandfathers, although neither would have been Gorean. All three were very strong in their views, all three continued to educate themselves throughout their lives, and all three had a high disregard for how society viewed themselves and their actions ’ a "take me as I am or bugger off" attitude. I don’t think you can teach someone to have the character, the core attitudes of a Gorean. However, there are many who do have those attributes who have never heard of the Gor books; those people I believe can learn."

Since this one has had a lot of trouble with some of the British slang, she pulled out her English to American dictionary and found with a chuckle that ’bugger off’ was synonymous with a well-known American phrase consisting of four letters followed by the word ’off.’ In all seriousness, it seems that strong men instill strong characteristics when the role modelling is good. These are self-assured men, living life as they saw fit, constantly learning and not remaining stagnant. The result is a very self-confident man who follows closely in their footsteps.

Because of the strong influence that his forefathers had upon him, it shouldn’t be surprising that he feels a strong sense of responsibility in all areas of his life. He believes he should portray the realities of the lifestyle as best he can on-line. ;Offline, the responsibilities are those that anyone would owe within a close community; mutual support in times of crisis and the placing of the good of the community first.

His family is very aware of his views and lifestyle, although they do not know it as Gorean, simply a lifestyle of dominance and natural order, of being the best that he can be. While he doesn’t find it necessary to discuss details about his life with his family, they are aware of the girls that he has owned in the past, and that they were held in slavery. Maitre definitely separates the culture from the philosophy. We discussed his views on what he takes of the Gorean philosophy and lifestyle into his life off-line. He doesn’t believe that it affects him nor makes him different from others, but then, being British, he is very gentlemanly in his assessments of others.

"On the philosophical side, I don’t think its something you can ’mix and match’; it’s an ’all or not at all’ situation. By lifestyle, I assume you mean the culture depicted in the book. Probably not much [is taken into his lifestyle] is the short answer, depending on how you make the split between philosophy and culture. For instance, you probably wouldn’t want to dress in a tunic while going to the office, but an honourable approach to life you can incorporate. I don’t really think I am different [from other people]; after all, many people have differing viewpoints. Granted, I may think some [of their opinions] are misguided, or just plain wrong, but I’m sure there are some that would say that about me."

This attitude seemed to be a bit different, but then Maitre is a very enigmatic person. He’s extremely self-assured, relaxed almost to being California-laid-back, with a strong sense of responsibility and commitment. His sense of humour tends to be somewhat dry, like most Brits, though there is always a ready smile and twinkle in his grey eyes. One can almost imagine him as a very mischievous youngster with an angelic face that never made the teachers suspicious of him being the prankster. He lounged on the floor, leaning back against the sofa with long legs stretched out as we talked about fundamental characteristics that he believed made him and others Gorean.

"Partly a sense of self, as in accepting what I am; I don’t think anyone is really ready to embrace and philosophy if they are divided in themselves, unsure, or disliking what they are. I see this very much as a core strength in any Gorean. Also, a sense of responsibility, although I think that stems from the strength given by the sense of self. Again, a weak person, or one unsure of himself is less likely I believe to accept responsibility for his own actions."

Those who know Maitre best would understand how difficult it was to have him describe himself. He is, by nature, a very reflective man who is not prone to pounding his chest. It was after a great deal of begging that he admitted he views his adaptability and pragmatic approach to life as his greatest assets. Reluctant to look at things negatively, he had this to say about his greatest fault or those of others: "Depends on how you view it, doesn’t it’ A strength can become a weakness, given a certain circumstance. The trick, I think, is adapting to circumstance, while maintaining one’s integrity." He’s always tried to learn from his mistakes, but feels that he usually finds each one applies to a different aspect in teaching himself the greatest lessons about himself.

Since he began reading the books in his early teens, he doesn’t think that fundamentally his life would be any different now if he had never heard the word ’Gorean,’ though he readily admits that it would be difficult to determine exactly how much of an influence the books had upon his life. A very pragmatic man, he doubts that would have changed.

"Probably only in a stating of views, since I remember reading certain passages and thinking, yes, that is what I’ve always believed, just never stated it so clearly. Perhaps there would be some minor difference, but not much I don’t think."

He has several favorites among John Norman’s books. Perhaps his most favourite is Players of Gor for its humour. Other mentions were Assassin of Gor for its plot and Marauders of Gor for its insights; Beasts of Gor made his list also. Vagabonds of Gor got two thumbs down. Asked to pick one quote that was significant to him, he thought for a moment and said that there were several, citing this one: "There’s several in the same vein as this one; all point to a sense of individuality, to a denying of the levelling and attempted equality of people. It speaks of the innate greatness of the human spirit -- "Such things are symbols of rank and hierarchy. They lie at the foundation of natural society, one in accord with the aristocracy of nature, a society in which there are places for both heroes and slaves. They speak of ordered arrangements. All are not the same. All are not levelled, nor must they pretend to be. Such a flat, crushed world, without difference and meaning, lies to the ruled and makes liars of the rulers. It imposes fraud upon one and hypocrisy upon the other. In the unnatural world, as all cannot be the best, there is no alternative, if all are to be the same, then to reduce the best to the level of the worst, at least in pretense."

Always willing to talk to those who want to discuss the Gorean philosophies and lifestyle seriously, he is also quick to point out that those who are interested should read as much as they can and understand the fundamental qualities that make someone Gorean. To him, the philosophy is not something one can teach a person to live.

"Then take a long, hard look at yourself; if you can’t honestly say that you have those qualities, then you probably shouldn’t bother.To me, ’being Gorean’ means living by the underlying philosophies and accepting the ethos."

"I don’t really think I’ve ever considered myself a leader, although I recognise there are circumstances in which I will lead, sometimes because no other will. I try to be an example to my students. Fortunately, that’s an area where competitiveness is not frowned on, where equality is not a consideration, and being the best that you can be is an admirable pursuit."

Maitre is part of a very viable, growing community of Goreans living in the United Kingdom. He meets with them frequently and feels that his relationship as Brother to one of the men is stronger than blood ties. Elated to find others sharing a common set of values and others with whom to share a common lifestyle, he chuckled heartily as he admitted that one of the attractions to meeting frequently, other than the primary discussion and fellowship, was that he got to sample exotic meals that one of the men’s slaves prepared and served to the men. At this point, this one had to smile since she’s the culprit that often tries out new menus on the men who meet. He also felt that the majority of the other Goreans he had visited with had met up with his expectations.

"Certainly the majority have. Only one exception springs to mind at the moment and at that time I think he lacked the maturity and the knowledge, and quite probably the core qualities."

Long before the world of computers and mIRC, Maitre had collared his first slave. None of the slaves that he has owned have been Gorean to begin with and did not even come from a bdsm lifestyle; none of the girls had previously been slave. He has never hidden his core beliefs from his family, so it came as no surprise that the family and his friends were aware that the girl was a slave and owned. He met his current slave, teanna, in an on-line chat and, after a period of time, collared her. While their relationship has remained on-line for almost two years, teanna will move to England this summer. For him, there are distinct limitations between the ownership of a girl who kneels at his feet in real life and one who is owned on-line. He has been training teanna for what she can realistically expect in the world when she comes to him. Some of the limitations involve communication; he views non-verbal body language to be as important as verbal expressions.

"Yes, several [limitations in on-line ownership comes to mind]. Although you can form an impression, body language is an important factor that is always lacking in an online environment. Also, you can’t really know how well the girl is behaving."

He can hang up the housework this summer when his slave of two years on-line finally moves to England from Minnesota to become part of the growing Gorean community in England. Lucky girl, his laundry is done by the laundress up the hill! A firm believer in the natural order, he has always been very assertive in all of his relationships, apart from one which ended quickly after the dynamics within the relationship changed. The first slave that he owned was long before he discovered the computer world of Gor. Since neither were involved in on-line Gor, his first slaves had begged his collar on her knees in front of him. He’s been separated from his wife for a number of years now, so teanna will be the only slave in his household. He had some very good advice for those who may be considering owning a chain of slaves.

"I’ve always had a policy of only keeping one at a time; I like my life simple. [When considering owning more than one slave,] Look very carefully at how the girls get on together; because, if they don’t, its no good deluding yourself that you will prevail; chances are you won’t, and you’ll just have whatever harmony your household has disrupted."

Previous slaves have all been full-time members of his home, performing all the usual domestic duties. When discussing whether he felt a slave’s ability to work and provide an income was important, he shook his head. "Not really, the assumption is that the girl would become part of my household on a permanent basis." Some have worked and some have not, dictated purely upon the individual circumstances and what he felt was important. He’s never had a part-time or on-line slave until his current slave, so the dynamics of owning a slave never really changed his lifestyle.

Each Master views a slave in different lights, so the conversation moved to what attributes he feels are desirable in a slave. Things such as age, beauty, education or financial assets play absolutely no part in what he looks for in a girl. Instead he looks for inner strength and character. Unquestionably the single most undesirable trait in a girl would be a lack of effort, both physically and mentally.

" There’s no shame if the slave genuinely does her best at something, but it’s currently beyond her grasp, as long as she really gives of her best, and recognises where she can improve. But, then that’s really true for everyone, isn’t it’"

He talked quite candidly about the abundance of slaves on-line and his views. Unlike some others, he believes that unowned slaves have a place on-line if they are using the various venues as a way for learning more about the lifestyle and about themselves, cautioning, however, that the girls will never really know slavery until they are at the feet of men.

"I think she can only have her slavery awoken in an online environment. It can’t really blossom until she really kneels before her master, surrendering herself completely. I think that it is impossible for a girl to do this online, however much she may want to. She may, on an intellectual level visualise what it’s like, but not till she’s experienced it will she truly know. I think the girl can be brought to be aware of her own innate slavery, but I don’t thing she really learns that until she’s at a master’s feet. The girl can also learn about the underlying philosophies, if she doesn’t already know them, but even there, she has to do a lot of background work for herself."

A project manager for a software house, Maitre discovered mIRC purely by accident. He’d installed a modem in his computer for the first time and was playing with various communication software, one of which was MS Chat. He couldn’t remember which Gorean channel he first entered, but he does remember clearly baffled and wondering "am I completely misremembering the books, or has something changed somewhere’" That remains his thought about many Gorean channels still today.

"To be honest, [the state of on-line Gor is] pretty dire, and getting worse. Probably the hardest thing for newcomers is to sort out the difference between those who claim to live as Goreans and those who actually do. It strikes me that there are many who make such a claim but whose actions online would belie such a claim. Probably because people can present themselves as anything, it’s easy for someone to pretend to be living a Gorean lifestyle while doing anything but. This, more than the confused roleplayers strikes me as the biggest problem. Not only for the straight deceit, but also it allows the predators a place to hide."

He sees that ease for people to pretend and to present themselves as anything to be the biggest drawback to on-line chat mediums, but is very quick to point out that the chat venues also has one single strength ’ "the ability to bring people together; people that may have accepted the ideal, but never have found others who shared them." It is through this medium that he found other like-minded Goreans in England, one of whom is now his Brother and others with whom he visits frequently. It was also the medium in which he found his slave, teanna, who will be moving to live in England this year in his household.

The steel in his voice almost made one look for an epee to miraculously appear in his hand as the topic of male slaves was broached. "From my view, their place is somewhere else. I don’t believe male slaves have a part in any real life Gorean communities and cannot ever be considered Gorean. On-line, there’s enough D/s places that cater for them; so I’d say that was where their place was." (By the way, for those who might think of trying out the mete of this fencing master, he is left-handed, so beware!)

His strong abhorrence for male slaves immediately made it clear that the question about free women owning male slaves might be appropriate. He doesn’t understand any male giving up his freedom to kneel before a woman, so he once again empathetically stated that in light of consensual slavery free women should not own kajirus since he couldn’t acknowledge male slaves having a place within the Gorean community.

There are certainly women who benefit more from being free women than slaves he believes. However, he also stated with a twinkle in his eye that those same free women could well be slave to the right men. So, taking a deep breath, the two paraphrased quotes about ’all women looking best in collars’ and ’in every free woman there is a slave’ was placed before him to comment upon. "I think there’s some justification in the second statement, although I think not all women are slave to all men, but have that within them that responds to the right man. The first [statement] would be a personal preference." He judges all free women purely on an individual basis, but holds them up to certain guidelines established within the Gorean philosophy and within the ethical and cultural guidelines of her community. "The onus is on them, as much as anyone else, to subscribe to the Gorean philosophy and ethos. Using ’Norman didn’t write much about free women’ as an excuse is not acceptable; there’s plenty written from a philosophical point of view, and it matters little the sex of the reader." Several examples in the books of what happened to free women who stepped past the boundaries of what men found acceptable clearly sprang to mind.

It seems lately that many are talking about the price they pay for their lifestyle. Maitre has been very clear about his beliefs to both family and friends for many years. Certainly there had to have been serious detrimental consequences that he could point to for living his life as he chose, this one thought. We talked more about the concept of appearing as a martyr by holding up life’s events and attributing them to a payment extracted for being true to one’s inner nature. He quickly set the record straight.

"I really don’t think it’s an appropriate phrase; I just am ’ no price involved. Certainly, if I’d made decisions based on influences other than inner nature, things may be different. But then, they could be worse. In the end, you can only say they would be different. Let’s say a decision turns up. You know, inside you, that one course is truer to your nature, but the other leads you to more immediate gain. Who can say really which path ultimately is going to be the hardest? You don’t know until you walk both, which is rather impossible. I think all you can do is be true to yourself, and accept any consequences."

"I don’t think being Gorean is difficult; harder is staying true to ones beliefs and ideals. But that’s always true. Sometimes it can come down to hard decisions, the outcome of which can have a cost, but I believe that’s a function more of what’s inside us, then it is being Gorean."

Maitre is very involved with meeting other like-minded, Gorean individuals and the topic of the importance of such communities, as well as the possible liabilities has been discussed in great detail with other men from his community. To him and others it is only in face-to-face meetings that people can truly know whether that person is Gorean or not. It’s far too easy on the chat venues or the telephone even for people to put forth a persona instead of their true self. He was quick to point out, while it was likely that sometimes the meetings would result in finding out that the other person was not like-minded, it was very important, in his view, that meetings between other Goreans, other communities should be encouraged. Even those who do not share the same Home Stone should meet, though he didn’t believe that he would invite a person from any group that he felt was not truly Gorean, unless there were overriding factors.

"I don’t think there is anything more important currently across the whole spectrum then the creation of living, offline communities. Perhaps that’s just a view reinforced by the feeling of isolation over the years, but really, if we don’t expand into offline communities, I can see the whole thing fading away. The advantages are that you may find more Goreans out there. Even if these people stay within their own groups, it’s possible to create better links between the groups. It’s also quite possible that a sharing of opinions and experiences can be beneficial to both communities."

A very structured person, it came as no surprise that he strongly felt the need for certain guidelines to be set up by any group deciding to meet with other Goreans. These guidelines would safeguard the group. Since he doesn’t believe the Gorean philosophy is not based upon slavery, he chuckled when asked about the impact unowned slaves joining in with any Gorean gathering or meeting would have upon the gathering or meeting.

"I wouldn’t necessarily distinguish between meeting someone from another community and someone who belonged to none; they are still a stranger to the group and, to that extent, an unknown quantity. This can change if someone within the community has already met them and vouches for them, so I think that is important. I would expect the girl to be treated the same as any of the other slaves, but my personal thought is that the girl should have been met and tested before ever being invited to such a gathering. I think any group, Gorean or not, behaves less naturally in the presence of strangers. I don’t think it has to mean that it’s ’less Gorean’ though. I doubt if the men’s attitudes and behaviour is going to be any different."

The subjects had been extensive and in-depth with Maitre eloquently fielding questions. Many of the Goreans seem to be highly educated, articulate people. Was this coincidental or perhaps a linking quality?

"I’m educated to degree level, but I don’t really think that formal education is really germane here. It strikes me that one of the qualities that most Gorean men exhibit is a desire and willingness to learn throughout their lives. To that extent, I would call them truly educated, since their knowledge is made up of both the theoretical and the practical."

There was a twinkle in his eye as he was asked to elaborate on where he saw himself in twenty years time and how he believed the future of Goreans and Gorean communities might fare. While he joked about looking forward to retirement, it was only with a twinge of teasing. Retirement will give him more time to look to newer, different horizons, to explore and learn things that he feels he may not have had time for previously. His knowledge of history is incredible and he makes historical dates come alive with stories. His optimism was clearly evident in his predictions for Goreans and the communities.

"Offline, [I believe the Gorean community will be] much stronger then it is now. I think the core of the communities that will grow in the future are being formed now, and hopefully, links between the emergent communities forged. To be sure, I also think we’re at the stage where it could die completely unless we are proactive in are approach, in seeking out Goreans. I don’t think the philosophy will change; very likely the approaches needed to live within the society will have changed as we find our own cultural needs."

He left this one very grateful for letting her curiosity range wide during the course of our talk. Perhaps his last favourite quote explains the twinkle in his eye and the deep chuckle.

"To ask may be a moment’s shame; but not to ask and remain ignorant is a lifelong shame."

Now, if someone can just find out who first said that?. Until next month, this one wishes you well.

sierra`, property of Jon