Let those who can climb mountains climb them. Let those who cannot climb them console themselves with denying their existence. (Rogue of Gor, pp.19)

Domo Aritgato, Ms. Slave Roboto

I was invited to join a newly generated discussion group about a month or so ago. We all know of each other, some of us have met face to face. We all live in or have recently been in non-negotiable, surrendered relationships. In reading the short introductions we all sent in, I was stunned by how many of us expressed gratitude at being in a place where we could write without fear of being attacked or called names because of who we are and how we live. Almost all of us on this list mentioned that we have put up with being told we are abused, sick, or just plain mindless robots, simply because someone on the other end of the modem could not deal with the idea of enslavement outside of a legal context. I sat on the floor thinking of this, and just then the song "Motivation" by sum 41 came on.

"Motivation such an aggravation,
Accusations, don't know how to take them.
Inspirations, getting hard to fake them.
Concentration's, never hard to break it.
Situation, never what you want it to be."

The raucous tune, the knowledge that so many of us have been goaded about our concentration, dedication and motivation led me to sit here, and write about the stepford slave.

It used to be that the terms stepford slave, slaviest of slaves, or robo-slave referred only to online girls who said the perfect thing all the time, regardless of her actual beliefs and behavior. For the most part, these little 'St. kajirae' had not served offline, or if they had it was for a very short time. Convinced of their own expertise and 'burning belly', most of these girls were horrified at any slave who admitted to struggling from time to time. According to this type, if you had to work at it, you were not a slave. These girls were always sweetness and light, taking the time to describe the musicality of their voices even when the baby was screaming offline or they were late for work. Sadly, these souls of obedience tended to fizzle out after a while, burning out like the stars they were, disappearing into a cloud of their own gas.

As more people began to meet offline, the definition of stepford slave expanded to include offline girls as well. The offline edition of roboslave is pretty much the same as the online version. She has made a seamless and easy adjustment to her "24/7" life and does not understand why anyone would ever have a problem regarding oneself as a piece of property or any difficulty at all in rendering service. Question her further and you find out that she is the one who holds the leash, manipulating the parameters of her 'servitude' to suit herself. She types flowery phrases of undying devotion and servitude, using cute little pouts and withheld affections to make sure things go her way. Generally speaking, these cute little balls of slave belly appear online and tell everyone how wonderful everything is, and end up doing the grand and dramatic "exit of Gor" as soon as their machinations stop working, or as soon as they are told to shut up.

Please imagine my surprise, then, the first time I got called a "stepford slave" in a discussion. My surprise increased to absolute astonishment when I found out that so many of us on the new list had been called that and much, much more. As best I could tell (since none of us on this list tend to be flowery or think this life choice is easy), there was some new, third definition of which I was previously unaware.

So, I set about reading archives, emails, and quizzing people. It turned out there was another twist in the appellations stepford slave, slaviest of slaves, st. kajira, or robo-slave. All are still used interchageably as an insult, but I discovered that they are applied to slaves as a "last bastion" defense in an argument. It is supposed to be the final insult, implying that the slave in question is defective because of her or her Owner's standards.

The "new" robotic st. stepford doormat slave can earn these titles if, in a discussion with slave-types, she admits any or all of the following:

• she does not have time in which she is not a slave
• she has surrendered to her owner, finding fulfillment in being what she is made to be.
• she strives to move past her daily problems and does not use them as an excuse for dissatisfactory behavior. (Please nota bene: Owners who do not allow slaves to use pms, cramps or various and sundry life problems to excuse their slaves' bad behavior are Controlling Abusers)
• she has not quit trying, or been allowed to simply give up when life as a slave has gotten tough.
• she admits to struggling with obedience, being pleasing, or any other issue

In my investigation of this new definition, I noticed that for the most part, any discussion involving actual enslavement as a fact of life tended to end up with the slave being called a 'stepford slave' or with some derogatory remark made about the slave's mental health.I noticed that slaves did not seem to have any trouble understanding or accepting the things other slaves said, so lack of clarity was not the likely source of misunderstanding. As I searched through the archives, reading the words of other slaves and the replies to them, I understood why we had ended up getting called robots. It was not to define a point, or because it was true; it was to make the other person feel better.

For some reason, being seen as a "slave" has developed some sort of cachet in both BDSM and Gorean circles. Being a submissive is seen as somehow less, or not as "cool". So rather than admit to "only" being a submissive, the operational definitions of 'slave' and 'enslavement' were shifted around to fit the circumstances of the submissives on each list. This works fine until the submissive runs across someone who is actually enslaved, who does not bargain, have time off, or a safeword. Since many of these submissive women are very emotionally invested in being thought of as 'true slaves', the only recourse they have to preserve their self-regard is to attack the enslaved for living in a state of total subjugation. Denouncing the slave as a "robot" who lives in denial of her humanity is apparently less problematic than accepting a lack of ability or desire to live all the time as property.

"Ah, but it is not a matter of better, my pet. You are comparing the apple with the orange. I do not scorn that little world because what they have is inferior, any more than I scorn a man who works for his money. I find them amusing because in their need to assure themselves that they are acceptable, they find many ways to deny themselves that I exist, or that my slaves do." (L. Antoniou, The Slave, pp. 150)

A girl wishes all well, and invites comments, questions or other feedback. If you wish, please emailher.

Best to all,

kessia{Sage}