The Basis of a Practical Relationship Between a Man and a His Woman

(Series 1 of 4)

The basis of a practical relationship between a man and his woman has been widely discussed in forums for many years. Gorean philosophy has simplified this formula by labeling women into specific archetypes. I do not believe women are capable of being so restricted in their requirements for a relationship. Mind you I feel men equally can not be transformed to fit one said mould of definition. Human beings were not made to be mono-dimensional.

I believe there are four points critical to exploiting the absolutes in a successful relationship. These points of direction are as follows.

1.Compatable Sexual Expectation/Lust

-Physical attraction

-Value of one self

-Confidence in baring an intimate relationship

[Article One, April 2001]

2.Unmitigated Honesty

[Article Two, May 2001]

3. Acknowledging value of one another, and believing in mutual values pertaining to one another.

[Article Three, June 2001]

4. Shared Vision for the Future

[Article Four, July 2001]

Let us begin with the first of the series. Physical attraction is necessary to actualize the desire of another person. That physical desire is the bare minimum in the development and inspiration of an intimate commitment. In other words it is pleasing to see beauty both internal, and external in a woman.

This openly declares her healthiness of soul, mind, and body, displaying it for a potential mate to witness. The upkeep of these characteristics in herself make her desirable to the other sex. The same axiom is applied by a woman when looking at a man whom she desires. Her senses will favor a man in control of his life, body, and mind. That phrase "he has his act together" is very true to task. Both sexes prefer curb appeal, and intellectual competence. In this dance of two who have chosen one another above all other, specifics are being determined by actions, and communication. The woman is trying to be appealing, and the man is pleased by this display of mating ritual.

Upkeep of this process is fundamental to the length of the relationship. Should one misuse the other, or take the other for granted, the downward spiral will begin. It is incredibly important that both individuals are very aware of every thought, and action they participate in. The focus should not be to get comfortable to the point of laziness.

"The wholisticality of the female response is interesting. Their response is a whole, physical, emotional, and intellectual. Men have sex. Women are sex."

"No matter what corruption h’s taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, and act in which he can not perform for any motive but his own enjoyment-just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity-an act which is not possible in self abasement, only in self exultation, only in confidence of being desired, and being worthy of desire."

Masculinity and femininity are complementary properties,’ I told her. `If a man wishes a woman to be more feminine, he must be more masculine. If a woman wishes a man to be more masculine, she must be more feminine.’"

- Pg. 205, Explorers of Gor

Sexual expectations of one another, in a relationship, cannot be assumed or imagined. These things must be carefully and honestly discussed to the fullest potential. The reason why this matter is of great importance is because of the physical basis of the relationship. It is a known fact that 80 percent of the relationships between two genders are based on a physical need of one another. We are kidding ourselves and our potential lovers in believing we are with them just because of the friendship involved. We are animalistic in our needs and desires of reproducing, and enjoyment of intimacy.

Touch is one of our five senses, and in that action we allow ourselves to lessen our walls of protection. It is most likely one of the reasons why chat programs over the years have been so successful. The walls are simply a box without a mirror. The other person on the end of the line sees only what you are willing to divulge. It is not hard to determine that they may or may not find some interest in your method of representing your true self. There is a catch to such programs, is that eventually the relationship requires a physical presence. The need to hold, and touch the other is insuppressible with the flourishing relationship. A person can only talk for so long before actions come into play. It is those actions that will draw us infinitely closer to the other sex.

Kissing can be regarded as a very family orientated gesture. Kissing a child before bedtime, or pressing a light kiss to a parent are perfect examples of showing a high regard to one we love. When a woman opens her mouth fully to her mate, and consumes herself with such a daring task, she is announcing her needs. At this level she has now declared these needs fully, the desire to be taken. There can be no error in deciphering the two acts.

"Thus, in letting man experience, in his own person, the sense that life is a value and that he is of value, pleasure serves as the emotional fuel of a man’s existence."

That physical need brings us closer to one another and instills an intimacy which we require when in close contact with our chosen mate. It synergistically reinforces the commitment spoken between the two. Thus, sexual satisfaction is a mandated expectation for a couple. It is a hunger both parties require to be fulfilled within themselves, and each other. The high priority on making certain these desires match is conducive to a very productive and happy consummation.

"But in fact a man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions."

Keep in mind this is not a form of entertainment or simply to pass time without thought. Sexual engagements are the basic requirement of humans and animals alike, a primal need.

"Pleasure, for a man is not a luxury, but a profound psychological need. Pleasure (in the widest sense of the term) is a metaphysical concomitant of life, the reward and consequence of successful action - just as pain is the insignia of failure, destruction, death."

In retrospect I have stated that physical need is required in order to begin a productive relationship. In that need we must be forthright and honest with our chosen partner so that he/she may meet those needs we have. The regard that there is little that should be assumed about your partner in intimacy. It is also completely natural to be true to your gender in representing yourself in Society.

When I read John Norman’s thoughts, and tales I find myself smiling because he did not fear Society or repercussions for representing men and women as they truly are. Lusty, needy, living life each day, and enjoying the very most we can produce from standard requirements of human nature.

"Gorean philosophy, for all its faults, is designed to make people free and great" - Marauders of Gor, page 13

Nyre

Intended to that Lion Fellow

© Copyright Nyre 2001, April

Quotes used from the Norman Series, and Ayn Rand