Choice & Consequences.

Tal and greetings once again

In the last couple of months things have happened that once again have caused me to stop and think about the choices we make in our lives and the unforeseen consequences they can bring about. Consequences that will happen at a time when the choice we made way back then may long have been forgotten.

I’ve heard that phrase "It’s not fair" so many a times… in this community but what people seem to quietly forget is that out of this community life is also never "all fair".

Does fair equal right? Does right equal just? Do any of these words matter, when we speak of consequences?

Many of us, would like to be forgiven and our actions forgotten and swept under the blanket of "I did not know" "I was young" etc.. etc.. and to be judged for the person we are now…

But the person we are now, includes and could not exists without the person we were then and the actions and consequences of back then. And if these consequences run into the present or the future, it behooves the person we are now to accept them also.

*Smile* I suppose you are wondering just about now what the heck is the point I’m getting to… don’t worry I’m getting to it.

We all made a choice once as women, to be free. Some of us made a choice to be slave (base on whatever perception/false or true we had then) and then became free. Should those of us that were slaves… be accorded the same benefits as those that were never slaves?

It’s not fair! We are prompt to cry out "I’m a free woman, I just made a mistake/I did not know/I was stupid"… but.. you know what? It was *our* mistake, we made it, we have to live with the consequences… it’s part of life, part of growing.

To give an example: do you treat equally (honestly) someone who did drugs (even once) and someone who never did? Would you put a reformed thief at the same level of trust as a life time honest man?

When someone has a police record, for better or worse no matter how reform and upstanding you become… no matter how much your peers have forgiven you… the plain and simple fact is… that police record is there NOTHING can erase your actions be they 1, 10 or 20 years ago.

Simple fact is, no matter how much you wish it you and I were slaves once, it was our mistake and we have to live with the consequences, be they now or 20 years down the road.

It will mean that some will never accept us, some will never believe us, some will always doubt us. It will mean that we will have to try harder. That we will be tested more. And lots of little things that bug us.

Will it be fair?

Will it be just?

Will it be deserved?

Perhaps yes, perhaps not… but that is not really the point.

The point is, these are direct consequences of our own mistake. We can not and should not expect others to forget our mistakes just because we’ve seen the light. Forgiveness is one thing… forgetting is another.

They may be harsh and unbending towards us… they may be mean and etc… etc… but it was *we* who made it so…

Yes it’s something that adds a burden to our hearts and that shadows our lives on some days… this knowledge that we shall never really be *fully* and *totally* accepted by some of ours… It’s enough some times to make us want to turn back… yes I’ve had those days too… but when it is all said and done… all I can remember is this simple fact… I and I alone made that choice.

So in parting, I will say this; for those of us whose choices have already been made, bear the consequences, there will be good days and there will be bad days… most are good ones J . But really this is for those of you out there… reading and who have not yet decided and made your choice… free or slave? Think hard and long and if in doubt then wait a bit more… because once the choice has been made, the consequences will start.

Well wishes as always

Rakella.

"the single most important thing I’ve learned here, is that there is only one person to hold accountable for my actions… me, as I reap the rewards, so shall I bear the consequences".

Rakella@usa.net