Fear

by kaylee{G}

“Come to the edge, he said.
They said, We are afraid.
Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them ... and they flew.” - Apollinaire

kaylee spoke to a friend this month, and after catching up on each other’s lives, we shared a more serious talk. This one’s friend had received an opportunity that she was not sure she would accept. There were reasons why, many reasons, some logical and some not quite as logical, but none of them seemed to gel for kaylee. She asked her friend, “What are you afraid of?” That is when it seemed that we reached the heart of the matter.

Fear is something that most of us can relate to, in one form or another. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of specific things or simply fear of the unknown ... she thinks most individuals have experienced it at one point or another in our lives. To some, fear can be paralyzing and to others, it is a challenge to accept or conquer the fear. It is not so important to kaylee that fear exists, but rather, how we let fear affect our choices, perceptions and actions that is critical.

In kaylee’s life as property, even after all this time, she experiences fear. At times, she is not privy to the “why” behind Master’s command or expected outcomes of certain commands, or she is in a situation where she cannot control the outcome. She may encounter something which triggers certain fears, such as heights or being placed in a situation where her best may not be enough. Rational or not, these fears can exist, and if she lets them, they have the ability not only to limit her service to her owner but also to dramatically restrict how she lives her life. At this point, she is not allowed to hide behind her fear, but to examine it and find a way to handle it. At times, this is easier said than done but she has managed to improve on this as time goes by.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” - Ambrose Redmoon

After speaking with her friend, kaylee thought back to some of the life-altering moments she’s experienced. The most obvious would be surrendering and becoming property to the man she has served for a number of years now, but there are other significant milestones in her life as well. In each of these instances, there was an element of fear. But in each situation, there was something that called to her - something stronger than her fears - that motivated her to move beyond whatever fears she had.

Many times, she’s found that facing the fear has allowed her to see she is more capable than she expected or that the fear is not as bad as she thought. And each time, it becomes easier to face or accept the next fear. While she does not believe she will ever be at the point where she does not experience some sort of fears, she feels she is able to put them into perspective and handle them more effectively.

“When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”
- Patrick Overton (sometimes attributed to Barbara J. Winter)

Until next month, she wishes you well.
-kaylee{G}

kaylee has been the household property of Gabriel for over five years, and together they have shared their passion for writing on his website: www.gor-on-earth.com. Future topics, suggestions, feedback, and questions are always welcome. kaylee can be contacted at: kaylee@gor-on-earth.com