COOKING WITH THE FOOD ARSONIST

It’s time to let everyone in on a little secret. This slave’s Master has always teased her so much while they were on-line about being a ’food arsonist’ that it had become somewhat of a channel joke. When He invited a group of Gorean Men who had never visited before to the house for the weekend, this girl is sure that they came with some trepidation after finding out that this girl would be doing the cooking for the weekend. It was most satisfying to see their expressions of pleasure as they dined. Good thing she can cook since we are lucky enough to have good Gorean friends close by and it is seldom a weekend that the house is not filled with the sounds of Men discussing all manner of things into the wee hours of the morning. All of the foods have undergone stringent Masters’ critiques before being presented for your consideration. This slave hopes that you, too, will find pleasure in the meals, knowing that as you eat them so have other Goreans.

STUFFED MUSHROOMS

Ingredients:

10 oz (275 grams) spinach, stalks removed

14 oz (400 grams) medium size cap mushrooms

1 oz/2 tbsp (25 gram/30ml) butter, plus extra for brushing

1 oz (25 grams) bacon, chopped

½ small onion, chopped

5 tbsp (75 grams/75 ml) double cream

4 tbsp (60 ml) grated Cheddar cheese (approximate)

2 tbsp (30 ml) fresh breadcrumbs

salt and ground black pepper

fresh parsley sprigs, to garnish

1. Preheat oven to 375F/190C/Gas Mark 5. Butter a baking dish. Wash but do not dry the spinach. Place spinach in a saucepan and cook, stirring occasionally, until wilted.
2. Place the spinach in a colander and squeeze out as much liquid as possible. Chop finely. Snap the stalks from the mushrooms and chop the stalks finely.
3. Melt the butter in a pan and cook the bacon, onion and mushroom stalks for about 5 minutes. Stir in the spinach, cook for a moment or two. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the cream. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
4. Brush the mushroom caps with melted butter, then place, gills uppermost, in a single layer in the baking dish.
5. Divide the spinach mixture among the mushrooms. Mix together the cheese and breadcrumbs, sprinkle over the mushrooms. Bake for about 20 minutes until the mushrooms are tender. Serve warm, garnished with parsley.

TIP: Squeeze out all the excess water from the cooked spinach, otherwise the stuffing will be too soggy. This can also be made without the bacon for a vegetarian starter.

BEEF IN GUINNESS

Ingredients:

2 lbs (900 grams) chuck steak, cut into 4 cm (1-½ inch) dice

Plain flour, for coating

3 tbsp (45 ml) oil

1 large onion, sliced

2 carrots, thinly sliced

2 celery sticks, thinly sliced

1 tsp (5 ml) English mustard powder

15 ml (1 tbsp) tomato puree

2.5 x 7.5cm (1 x 3 inch) strip orange rind

bouquet garni

600 ml (1 pint or 2½ cups) Guinness or another Stout

salt and ground black pepper

1. Toss the beef in flour to coat. Heat 30 ml (2 tbsp) of the oil in a large shallow saucepan; cook the beef in batches until lightly browned. Transfer to a bowl.
2. Add the remaining oil to the pan; cook the onions until well browned, adding the thinly sliced carrot and celery towards the end.
3. Stir in the sugar, mustard, tomato puree, orange rind, Guinness and seasoning.
4. Add the bouquet garni and bring to the boil.
5. Return the meat, and any juices in the bowl, to the pan; add water, if necessary, so that the meat is covered.
6. Cover the pan with a tight-fitting lid and cook gently for 2-2 ½ hours, until the meat is very tender.

CABBAGE WITH PEPPER SAUCE

Ingredients:

1 large head green cabbage (about 2 pounds)

1 cup water

½ teaspoon salt

1 small green pepper, chopped (about ½ cup)

3 tablespoons butter or margarine

2 tablespoons flour

½ teaspoon onion salt

1/8 teaspoon pepper

1 cup milk

¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese

1. Cut cabbage into 12 wedges. Heat water and salt to boiling in 10-inch skillet; add cabbage wedges. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer until cabbage is crisp-tender, 10 to 15 minutes; drain.
2. Cook and stir green pepper in butter over medium heat until pepper is crisp-tender, about 1 minute. Blend in flour, onion salt and pepper. Cook and stir over low heat until mixture is smooth and bubbly. Remove from heat; stir in milk. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute.
3. Place hot cabbage wedges in serving dish. Pour sauce on cabbage; sprinkle with cheese.

BAKED JACKET POTATOES

Ingredients:

4 Potatoes, similarly sized

Butter

Chives

Soured Cream

1. Scrub even-sized old potatoes well, cut a cross through the skin on each potato and bake in a hot oven (200C/400F/Gas Mark 6) for 1-1 ¼ hours.
2. Chop chives and place in small bowl.
3. Dot each with a knob of butter before serving.
4. Place small bowls of chopped chives and soured cream out for use.

PEACH MELBA

Ingredients:

11 oz/scant 2 cups (300 grams) raspberries

Squeeze of lemon juice

Icing sugar, to taste

2 large ripe peaches (you may also use 15 oz/425 gram can sliced peaches)

8 scoops vanilla ice cream

1. Press the raspberries through a non-metallic sieve.
2. Add a little lemon juice to the raspberry puree and sweeten to taste with icing sugar.
3. Dip fresh peaches in boiling water for 4-5 seconds, then slip off the skins. Halve along the indented line, then slice; or tip canned peaches into a sieve and drain them.
4. Scoop two scoops of ice cream in each individual glass dish, top with peach slices, then pour over the raspberry puree. Serve immediately.

CAFÉ ROYALE

Ingredients:

Hot Coffee

Brandy

Sugar Cubes

1. Prepare Hot Coffee in your favorite manner. For each serving, place a sugar cube in the demitasse spoon or a regular teaspoon.
2. Hold over coffee in cup and pour brandy over cube.
3. Carefully ignite brandy. When sugar melts, stir into coffee. Serve with the Peach Melba after dinner.

GUINNESS

Having served a fair amount of Guinness over the past several months, this slave thought she would pass along some tips. Guinness is black in color and served at a cooler temperature than most ales (normally at 45F/6C). Tilt the pint glass at an angle and slowly (very, very slowly) pour a small, thin stream into the glass, trickling it down the interior side. To pour a "proper" Guinness (this one thanks Master Jim for teaching her) takes about two minutes and is a good test of kajira patience when there are other drinks to be served also!

There is also what is known as a ’Black and Tan Guinness’ and, although this girl has never served it, she has done some research and found that the all-Guinness Black & Tan is Harp’s Lager and Guinness. (Harp’s Lager is brewed by Guinness at Dundalk and is a light golden color). This can be served as a layered drink. One can either use a special Guinness spoon or make your own by getting an inexpensive spoon, bending the spoon bowl back so that when you lower it into the glass the convex side is at the top. Again, hold the pint glass at an angle and fill it just over half way with Harp’s Lager. Using either the special spoon to trickle the Guinness slowly over or by very, very slowly letting the Guinness trickle down the side of the glass, fill the remainder of the pint glass with Guinness. Slainte!