The kids are almost grown…living their own lives, the house practically runs itself and husband has lots of new mid-life crisis toys to keep him busy. So, what’s a girl to do…?

Hmmmm..Lets see where this gets her, put MO in the channel finder. Ooooo look at that channel " Molded Stone", what on earth could that be,

Not having a clue, a girl enters saying HI! Then is quickly pm’d by someone with a nick like DarkWing or something else very mysterious sounding and telling her that she is in a Gorean Channel and should she considered herself a FreeWoman or a slave? Hmmm..which is more fun she asks. The very nice man answers that is so much more fun to be a slave in this game. So,,,,TADA,,,,she is a slave. I am told that this is a role-playing channel based on the books of Gor. She asks, "What are the rules to this game?" He suggests for a few days a girl should just sort of watch and see what she thinks. Gor? "What is gor?" she asks. The sweet man replies "They are books based on BDSM about a counter earth, with handsome warriors and beautiful slavegirls and swords and fighting". So now a girls eyes are wide and pictures begin to form but wait..what did he say BDSM?? She looks at the letters for a few moments…mulls it over in her brain, BDSM…hmmmmm looks like an abbreviation for the word bedrooms. So, she inquires of this very nice helper in the private window…what is BDSM? He laughs (hey how did he make those letters a different color). Then proceeds to throw out words like bondage,,,domination…submission. She sits at the computer and just sort of mutters…ut ohhhh..alright…maybe we will just look for a bit, and so the journey begins.

Here is where the married woman is hooked, her life away from the computer is less that what she dreamed, Husband is not the prince charming she thought he was, the kids really don’t need that doting mother anymore, she is not the young vivacious woman she used to be, hubby’s mid section makes for nice shade and basically June Cleaver isn’t everything you thought she was. So here she is, on the computer watching these women type these words, saying things that this married woman would never let her children read, but it stirs something deep within her, its just a tiny whisper still, but, still, its there. She gives this "serving" thing a try, and finds she is pretty good at using words. The men in the channel all praise her and for some odd reason she feels "pretty". Something she has not felt in a long time. Here she hears words like "honor" and "truth" and "integrity". Things she thought were long gone in this world. Too bad it is just a game. But she has just made her white silks…and is learning to dance.

The game continues, she is at the computer all she can be. Husband is noticing just every once in awhile that she is otherwise occupied, but as long as his dinner is hot and the laundry is done, he just shrugs and goes about his business. Now something really exciting happens in the game, the "big guy", the owner of the channel, the one with the most ops, is talking a lot to her in private, she is using all the correct verbiage and trying to answer every question just the way he will like it…after all the next level is just around the corner. Yellow silks. But here she is perplexed; she will have to cybersex someone to get these pretty silks. This is a scary thing to her, but afterall it is only typing and couldn’t really harm anyone..all just fun and games. So Mr. Big uses her and she does the right position and begs just right for getting a tavern collar and those pretty yellow silks. Now for the biggy…does she go for the crimson silks or a private collar of one of the men with the little circles by their name. Gosh…such decisions. Real life seems farther and farther away, that little whisper is louder now and sometimes..just every so often, she thinks maybe there is more to this than just a game. But no..heck, Mr. Big isn’t even allowed to give out his real name. Wifey says NO to that one, (although he does secretly send his picture and produce a name, not his real name of course, but how would she know). Still there is this nagging feeling…

Well, the big day comes and she begs for Mr. Big’s collar…and of course she is granted her wish. All of her time, every spare moment, is spent at the computer being this made up person. Here she is loved, cherished, beautiful, desired and important. But there is just one thing that is wrong. All this is, is a bunch of words. Flat squares screen with fictitious characters and pretend food. But it is here she laughs and cries and spills out her fantasies, here her heart thunders in her chest if she makes a mistake and her eyes sparkle when she hears "well done". So she pushes away realistic thoughts and is swept away by the emotions that are flooding her. Then one day the unthinkable thing happens…she runs into someone who really buys into all of this stuff and believes that this is how life should really be lived. A voice in her heart utters "could it really be?" This Master is actually living it with a real slave AND they both seem so peaceful and happy. But she looks around her house, at life away from the computer and won’t allow her self to hear what her spirit is trying to tell her.

Many things happen to her in her Gorean journey…she leaves the only person that tells her that this isn’t a game and that the feelings she’s having are right and natural. She leaves him because she doesn’t want to believe that, her real life isn’t like that and never can be. And what will happen to her if "the game" is taken from her. She will be who she really is and not this wonderful girl everyone loves. Some things in life are just too hard. She needs her "fix" of esteem so she goes on, sifting through the men, looking for the ones that will adore her. Making her feel "special". But the voice of the One Master that was honest with her won’t go away. So the game begins to not feel so good and she isn’t really happy anywhere. Her husband is always upset because she is on the computer so much. She rarely sees her children and that’s ok because she can see the look of confusion in their eyes. Her house is a mess, the laundry is barely done and she is filled with sadness. So she makes a grand departure from gor.

Only one problem there, it doesn’t depart from her. The foolish game part does, the need for the perfect serve and the most erotic dance fades away. So the married woman looks at her life…takes a very hard look. She sees through new eyes now, and the realizations are not very pretty. The first things she realizes is that she has been collared for a very long time. Left hand, third finger. There it is, proof, her wedding ring. But how does one serve a man who has no knowledge of Gor. That perplexes her, until she understands the simple truth, which has nothing to do with her actions all this married life. She belongs to a man and if she is slave, she will serve him with every fiber of her being. The journey has taken on a new light now. One that has nothing to do with nicknames and trying to figure out a different way to describe blue eyes. This journeys path shows her the way to be "la kajira", by simple serving the man she already vowed too.

So she does things differently. She goes to her Husband and tells him that she understands where her place is. And she will look to him in the future for the path she will walk. She will not argue, even if she disagrees. She will obey his words and always believe that his decisions are based on what is truly best for all of the family. She will let her children know that Husband’s word is law and she will not ever again try to change his mind for them.

She will take care of herself, physically, so that she can give more. She will look to his as Master. She will do all she can to see to it that Husbands home is his "tavern" and does all she can so he always feels that he has more ops than anyone else there. She surrenders and finds joy.

When a girl declares herself slave, and comes to IRC, entering a Gorean tavern for the first time, so many impressions fill her mind, so many new behaviors are noted and incorporated into her actions and words. Much time is spent agonizing over every word, to be sure that what she types presents as closely as possible the actions she would perform if truly at the feet of Gorean men. It becomes a litany, a set sequence of words and actions expected of a slave.

But truly, words on a screen cannot come close to simulating a tavern setting. A girl can never know how it feels to be there, at the mercy of men, or know in any way how she will react unless and until she finds herself in such a situation. And in the world we live in, those opportunities are few and far between.

meyre and 5 other girls found themselves in that situation recently. It is impossible to describe accurately the feelings that go through a girl's mind when she realizes that what is simulated on a screen is going to be her reality for a short period of time. Apprehension. Awe. Fear. Joy. Anticipation. A blend of all of them, creating a mental atmosphere of tittilation that she's never felt before. Every thought begins to turn to imaginings of what will be.

Much time is spent planning meals, drinks, and atmosphere, wanting so badly to provide pleasure in all forms for those she will serve, attempting to discover personal likes and dislikes ahead of time, so that every man's pleasure will be attended to as fully as possible. She knows that her duty is not only to serve, but to provide comfort, allowing the men to revel completely in each other's presence and never once turn their minds to lesser matters.

When the first man walks through the door, and she feels his eyes upon her as she kneels and begs to see to his ease, her emotions are roiling. She wonders if he can possibly see into her soul and know the turmoil that is raging there as she hurries to put away coats and fetch a cold drink. And most of all, she feels the incredible, overwhelming feeling of peace, almost a shock, as she realizes that completing those tasks feels good, and right.

The tension begins to bleed away as she busies herself seeing to tasks in the kitchen, hoping that her efforts are found pleasing, always attentive to the call of "girl!" or to the sharp whistle that summons her back to the feet of a man. Soon, there is the crunch of tires in the drive and others join the gathering, the feeling of festivity growing and filling the house. Girls running to and fro, filling drinks, fetching snacks - smiling in joy if a man should choose to lock his fingers over her wrist and spend a few moments speaking with her.

As chores are completed, she finds herself kneeling at the feet of a man, listening with delight as the men talk, realizing that the same things are talked and joked about as what is seen on a screen. But how much more vibrant it feels, to see the expressions on the faces of the men, to *feel* the energy between them and to know how much they are enjoying being together and sharing ideas and thoughts.

Being permitted to serve at a gathering of this nature differs radically not only from online interaction - it is in no way like serving a man in a one-on-one basis. There is an energy present, fueled by the fact that for a short time, the men are able to cast away the constraints of the world around us and simply be what they are in totality, and the women are in turn able to respond to them fully and completely, both sexes expressing their nature in a way that is seldom experienced in mixed company.

There is an inevitable aftermath to events like this. This time, it was different. The heightened feelings remain, there is no cessation of emotion, the knowledge of the time spent in the presence of men flows over into the time afterwards, and the experiences and learning that occurred begin to mesh with everything a girl says, sees, and does. It opens up areas in her that she only touched before, and removes doubts, allowing her to simply be what she is, and find joy in it - because *now* she does know. And an overwhelming hunger to experience it again fills her as she realizes that nothing else can ever come close to being in the presence of men.

There are other aftereffects, not as positive. Returning to the online world, facing catty remarks, accusations of whoring, all from within the community that claims to understand and embrace the ideals lived that weekend. Pushing it all aside, because in the end, it is better to have lived, fully, able to move forward in the same light and incorporate it all into the entirety of one's being......than to continue to dream of it.

meyre{MF}
Property of Mastiff

Today her heart sister messaged her asking about how she felt last weekend at the Gorean doggle, and she smiled, knowing there have been stories flying all over. Right now, this one is thinking of a girl who got off a plane and trembled all over, seeing two Masters. She felt that if you said "boo" she would shatter into a million pieces, not knowing how long it would take to put her back together; she thought is was hours but actually it was about thirty minutes. He asked her why she was so nervous. A million things went through her mind but could not even have the courage to speak them. This one thinks he was chuckling a little inside, perhaps thinking, "Well, she will speak or just be the deer caught in the headlights all weekend, " so she took a deep breath and spoke about how she felt. That was so hard telling a Master about her deepest fears, never does she want to feel that way again. At times it amazes her, how some Masters can make a girl feel at ease - how they seem to know what is going through a girl's mind? Master Bear, she thanks you for that, your words echoed through her mind all week when things got tough.

What can a girl say, about being so lucky to serve the Masters? Her heart pounds faster as she smiles to herself, feeling a wonderful feeling that is still so new to her. This one went there thinking, "Okay, avril, you will truly find out if you are what you are and claim to be online. Are you strong enough to handle whatever you will find out?" You see, this girl would have accepted it if she was not a slave and if this was not for her, but she had to know. She had to find out, something was missing that she could not get from IRC - to fully understand what it is like to be at the feet of a man. This one saw girls there that served with such beauty and grace that no typing on a screen could ever compare to; she saw girls glow with such happiness at the feet of men, and she found out that she was one of those girls, also.

This one cannot even find the right words to express herself and gets a little teary-eyed even thinking of the joy she had serving. All she can say is that today, she sits typing this for a sister she loves deeply, and she feels changed inside.

This girl has grown in leaps and bounds over one weekend. She prays that she will never take a step back, but hopes only to move forward with her heart and eyes wide open, to serve the Masters as she was always meant to do. What a wonderful feeling to be free of the walls that once surrounded her; you see, she knows what she is now, with no hesitations or doubts.

aprell

How can lise` put into simple words the feelings that coursed through her while in the presence of such strong men? When lise` was approached to put her emotions down on paper, it sounded easy enough, ohh how wrong she was!

For lise`, to be allowed in the same room, to sit quietly and listen to the talk, was such a rush, mere words dont do it justice. These are men that lise` has seen online, men that instilled fear, not to mention, men from Silk&Steel. After being told when she first came online the horror stories of "that place", to actually be meeting the men face to face, was enough to get her knees a knockin! Add to that the fear of being found displeasing in her owner's eyes, and you have one terrified girl. Funny thing was that, after we arrived, and lise` saw these were men, yes, and yes, they did instill fear and demand respect, but they were not three headed ogres! The rest, fell into place naturally, lise` was as lise` is. Watching her owner laugh, listening to the banter of men, retrieving drinks, or assisting with the cooking of meals, all contributed to the feeling of great bliss felt inside this girl, she was doing what it is in her nature to do, serve.

A shining moment, out of many, was when her owner, quietly scratched her behind the ear, saying softly, "good girl ".. unable to put those feelings on paper, lise` will let each come to their own conclusion.

lise`
SeaWinders slut