Is it Gor? Or is it Memorex?

by prism

Greetings Masters,
Greetings Mistresses,
Greetings slaves,

Lately this one has been pondering many things. When she first started the Crossroads column she vowed not to make it a “me” column. A me column meaning that it would not be about her experiences or feelings but rather set out to look at others and help them with things they may be experiencing. To help, not preach. To skin our knees together rather then shake a finger at each other when we don’t feel the same.

Lately this one has been shaking a finger at herself over feelings she has been having in reference to the Gorean lifestyle, pondering that she has become too cynical and bitter, not able to see through the clouds of her judgment. Things often go through mind such as: What is Gor and where can one find it? This question is often asked by people pursuing a lifestyle they hear about, a lifestyle people sit in chat rooms and talk about.

They talk, they remember, they fantasize. Where is Gor???? What is Gor??? How does one explain it to someone? Is it explainable or is it just lived? Does it really exist? These questions even come in to play.

This one watches as she strolls through what’s left of the chat rooms and thinks to herself, that people really do think that you have to own a computer to be Gorean. That a trait now days is to sit in a chat room, condemn everyone who strolls in and beat your chest or breast and yell how more Gorean you are than anyone in that chat room. Yell out how many years you have been in chat in Gor. (That makes you automatically Gorean!) Switch back and forth from submissive to Free (women and some men). That will always make you more Gorean, because you have played both roles and really know how it is to be Free and slave.

But the ultimate of all that will make one absolutely Gorean is....(drum roll please) have some one move in with you that you met online and tell everyone in chat you’re now living together and you both spend every waking hour in chat...being real. To look at the others and think they possibly can not be in the lifestyle because they have never invited anyone to come live with them, beat their submission into them or hand over all their worldly possessions and check book before they even met the person.

Many people fall into this category. The sad part is, when the mirror is held up to the face, we don’t want to accept the truth. We would rather bash the one who shows us what we have become.

Often heard when passing that in order to be Gorean, you must have honor, integrity, truth, respect. Shouldn’t these be traits in your everyday life? You shouldn’t just start having these qualities because you have claimed to be “Gorean.” So, for example, you can cheat, lie, steal and do anything, but when you claim to be Gorean it all stops and you become reputable? Has this lifestyle become more of a place for social misfits and the dysfunctional rather than for the ones who truly believe in it?

Does truly being oneself and seeing past the smoke make us the ones who are not Gorean? Some would say so. When a slave sees past the pick-up lines or sees a person for who and what they really are, we are considered not slaves. That really being a slave means we do not question. We just believe every line that is give to us through a computer. We possibly can’t be a slave if we don’t type and serve and act as others in the chat room think we should. That if we come online and live in this lifestyle we should automatically find a Gorean chat room and cyber-serve or sit there and not speak. There is no other use for us to use our computers for then to do that. And if we can’t do that, then we shouldn’t be online - we should be reading a book or perhaps taking a walk. Perhaps sell our computer as well?? If there really isn’t any use for it according to some except going to chat and serving etc...Would that make us slaves or idiots?

And seriously, what’s that saying about the “open” minds that spew that kind of nonsense? Now this one knows why she is so confused and bitter and cynical and certainly not feeling slave-like when she does decide to go online. Thank goodness slaves have the support of good knowledgeable Free and slaves!

This one was told by a dear friend that with everything good comes with the bad. We just have to have the common sense to weed out the trash to get to the good stuff. Gor just doesn’t come to you. There is no special packet of powder that you add water to, stir and drink and within 15 minutes, you’re Gorean (regardless of what some may say these days). Gor is a fictional planet. Gor is a pillow for some to lay their heads on and dream about. Gor is a place in a series of books written by a man pen-named John Norman.

No one can define what Gor means to another. To each and every individual it means many things. There are just some standards that are understood. Men are men. Women are women. There is no room for compromising the roles of men or the roles of women. Those who think they can make exceptions are the ones who are truly confused or mistaken. Gor is not chat. Chat is not Gor. They told me that being one’s self is the most Gorean anyone can be, that if a woman is a woman and knows her place and the roles she must be to her man and family, then she is who she claims to be. When a man is just himself, he is who he claims to be.

Hiding behind a computer is not being who and what you are. It takes a strong person to step outside the box. In doing so, reality sets in and all the cyber-drama means nothing except filling a void at the time. It takes a stronger person to actually admit this.

Listening to this friend really put many things in perspective for me. Perhaps even with all the faults we think we have and not feeling up to par, it’s normal. It’s normal to outgrow things we used to really believe in. There is a time to step outside the box and live life to its fullest in being who and what we are. No labels, no one to pass judgment, just being one’s self and loving it.

Isn’t that what being Gorean is all about? Just being you?

Leading by example is just being a normal person living a normal lifestyle.... but really? What is normal? (~~winks). With all that stuffed in this one’s brain she has to smile: Is it Gor? Or is it Memorex.

I wish you all well until next time!

prism