The Gorean Voice - February 2000 - Vol II Issue 8

I have no claim to being a great expert in terms of the mastery of females. However, this piece of work has mainly been designed to address the lack of information out there that relates to how men interact with women and the aspects of the male that govern this interaction. With the help of discussions with other men, a few select slaves and free women, I have isolated three major areas, or aspects, that relate to the male. It should be noted that other aspects may be evident, other models of thought may also be applicable, the model that is being put forward in this piece of work by no means represents an all encompassing scope of the human male. It merely presents a potentially workable model to help individuals with direction, guidance and an understanding of the dynamics, in simplistic model terms.

The three major aspects that govern this model are control, company, and sexuality. These three aspects are represented on a triangular diagram to demonstrate how each of these three aspects interact for the human male, what balances can be achieved from these aspects; and why, during certain times, the focus of the human male may shift from one aspect to another. To understand the triangle and the relationships between aspects, we must first understand what the aspects represent and are interpreted as.

To hold in restraint; check: struggled to control my temper; regulations intended to control prices.

Authority or ability to manage or direct: lost control of the skidding car; the leaders in control of the country.

Often controls. An instrument or set of instruments used to operate, regulate, or guide a machine or vehicle.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition

Control is an aspect that may mean different things for different people, both from the male perspective, and the female perspective. From the male perspective, having control over a situation, oneself, or another person is often a natural, although poorly understood and ill conceived notion that most men do not understand about themselves. The average male may seek control but not understand why, may reject having control because of the problems it may cause in ones life, or the sense of responsibility it may entail, in terms of responsibility over ones own life or the life of another. Control holds the top position on the triangle because it is the most independent of the three aspects, in a sense it can act independently for a long period of time without having a detrimental effect on the dynamics of a relationship. Control can be maintained throughout time in ones life, which may have a positive effect on the individual who is in control of his life. Control can also govern the degree the other aspects come into play within the dynamics of a relationship, company and sexuality may be lessened or increased as a control mechanism.

From a female perspective, the control a male represents and incorporates into his life and relationships is of high importance when working within a Gorean master/slave relationship framework. The female responds well to certain levels of control, the levels of control fluctuating, depending on environmental and relationship dynamic issues. Control from the female perspective is of highest importance because the male is viewed to set the boundaries for the female, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behaviour. It results in a framework for the female to function to a level of requirement that the male finds satisfying and fulfilling. Once the female steps out of the boundaries set by the male, she is disregarding his control, which leads unfulfillment and dissatisfaction on the males` part. This may have a snowball effect where the male places more energy into the controlling aspects of his Mastery, to try and regain control, which is a natural phenomenon, as the male exerts himself to maintain the dominance and control within the relationship. An over extension of control for long periods of time; for example, continual/excessive discipline; can be time, emotional and energy consuming on the part of the male. A healthy load of control is where a male can be within control, maintaining control at a natural level for him, without feeling the drain on his emotional, time and energy resources.

The state of being a companion or companions; the act of accompanying; fellowship; companionship;

This aspect of the triangular model may again mean different things to different individuals. Spending the time to understand the female, or at the least, to recognise stimuli that result in responses from the female, is a strong point of what company entails. One must spend an amount of ones time with a slave to explore her mind and personality, attitudes and beliefs. What makes the female think, what is interesting about the female, why does she respond to actions of control, what aspects of control are more responsive than others. All of these attributes are important aspects of mastery and extracting from the female what one needs to be fulfilled. People change over time, they change attitudes, emotions, outlook, and the company aspect is important to maintain to monitor these changes as one journey’s through life with another. One of the finer aspects of ownership is that property can be explored, prodded, examined, over and over time and time again; a male can achieve a lot via thorough mental exploration. Company is not only limited to friendly discourse, it can also suggest and promote lengthy interrogation of the female.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition

This aspect is the physical condition of how the male interacts with the female. It may be through a simple touch, to complete and utter usage of the female. The female is property, and hence at the whim of her owner, his to explore totally within a physical framework, any way he pleases. The sense of touch can be a very powerful tool in the hands of a strong male. A female can be reduced to a helpless state if the correct touch or series of touches is administered on the female body. Each female responds differently to different touches, each male has a different method of applying it. Let us not forget the aspects of touch that are expected from the female, for the male. Once she is helpless, she is more inclined to do anything to once again feel the touch of the master, her sexuality being a strong instinctual drive. Sexuality can be used to reinforce the domination of the male over the female, it can also be used to frequently highlight the obvious biological differences between men and women.

How do the three aspects interact? Each male is different and utilizes varying degrees of these aspects to achieve the desired end result, which is, the mastery of the female. Some men rely solely on the control aspect with a little company and sexuality, other men utilize sexuality solely with little emphasis on control and company. Other men have a strong sense of company, with little control and sexuality. Can company or sexuality on their own or in unison with little/no control be effective? Over a long period of time I don’t believe so, but of course it all depends on the dynamics of the relationship between the man and the woman. Control is the driving force for any successful Gorean relationship, but having control does depend to a degree on communication between the two parties, hence, this is where company steps in. Of course each man is different, and each man has his own unique style, balance of these aspects and alters them accordingly to adjust for situations and state of environment within the relationship. Without control however, the relationship can verge on a vanilla relationship, as there is no controlling aspect, no reinforcement of the influence of the man over the woman. Sexuality is perhaps the only aspect that can be removed completely from the equation between the man and the woman for a long period of time, with the maintenance of the relationship still possible. This is dependant on how deeply the female feels her slavery to simply serve and to please in any way the man wishes. To deny a female of her sexuality can be a tool of control; to completely deny a female of her sexuality in any shape or form over an extended period of time ( totally restricting her use and not using her yourself at all), can potentially lead to a denial of what a slave is all about, to please men in all ways.

One of the fascinating oxymorons of on-line Gor is the existance of the 'unowned slave'. First, let's consult Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language, and see what it has to say on the matter;

slave n. 1. one who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant. 2. one entirely under the domination of some influence or person; a slave to a drug, 3. a drudge; a housekeeping slave. C.f. master.

(note: C.f. means 'to compare', from the Latin, 'confer')

master n. 1. a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something.

There's numerous other definitions of 'master', and I certainly strongly encourage all interested parties to delve as deeply as they wish into the various nuances of the language beyond this point, but for the purposes of this article, what I have quoted is quite sufficient.

In on-line Gor, we have the intriguing circumstance of numerous people who claim to be slave, and yet, have no master. The question arises; if the person is not owned by a master, who or what are they slave to?

Obviously, we are speaking of 'unowned slaves', so definition #1 is out of the question.

If we try to lay it to being defintion #2, 'one entirely under the domination of some influence or person', it is noted that a slave is no more, or less, under the domination of the influence of Norman's books, than a Master could be said to be. And since she is not owned, that removes the second portion of the this definition.

It may be that some of the 'unowned slaves' out there are literal slaves, but then I would question why it is that they do not wear thier real life owner's collar, on-line. That takes care of all three of Mr. Webster's definitions of the word, and none of them apply to the majority of the 'unowned slaves' on-line.

Consider, also, that in the 'C.f. master', it is shown that the definition of a slave is directly linked to the master.

Naturally, there are many who have come up with wonderful rationalizations for this oxymoron.

I have been told that it is important for those 'unowned slaves' to portray themselves as such, so that there will be a clear differentiation between them and those who wish to be Free Women, with the agenda that men will thus leave the Free Women out of thier calculations and focus on putting the 'unowned slaves' into collars, instead. Are men truly so unperceptive that they cannot tell the difference between a woman who is ready for his steel, and one who is not?

I have been told that an 'unowned slave' belongs to "all men". That's a pretty big answer, very vague and nebulous, as well as pointless. If an 'unowned slave' belonged to all men, then any man could simply command her to kneel and accept his collar, and call it a day. Yet, they have choices still, they don't have to take the collar of the first new master who happens along. They don't have to obey all men. So much for thier being slave to "all men".

I have been told that an 'unowned slave' is, in fact, slave to her belly, she is enslaved to the notion of being a slave and the feelings it engenders within her. Facile. In short, it means that the slave is simply a slave to her own desires, or a slave to her own nature. Could not the same be said of a master, that he is in fact, a slave to his own nature as master? Just as an apple is a slave to being an apple? At best, it can be said that the slave is enslaved to her own needs and desires. The point is rendered moot, or suggests an astounding degree of self-absorption on the part of the slave.

Clearly, a slave exists only in relation to a master, by the definitions of both worlds, while a master can be a master of many things and circumstances, and yes, people, even those who are not slaves.

The truth is, the 'unowned slave', on-line, comes close to having her cake and eating it too. She straddles the fence between Free Woman and slave, and enjoys the freedom to do as she pleases for the most part, while basking in the attentions and intimacies that men on-line bestow on slaves. She rarely has to accept and endure the restrictions and rules of an owned slave, and certainly does not have to behave with the decorum and propriety of a Free Woman. She might not have an owner, a master, but she is quite free to go when and where she pleases, as she pleases, with whomever she pleases, and do as she pleases, accountable to no one, and with little or no responsibility. Some may say that all masters will ride herd on these 'unowned slaves', control them to some extent, stoke the fires in thier bellies. This may be true, but is it the responsibility of every man out there to give his time and attention to every would-be slave who clearly has not yet been found sufficiently pleasing for other men to retain in a collar, whom they themselves do not find sufficiently pleasing or appropriate to thier needs to collar for themselves, or who is still in the process of searching for the right master? And even if that were the case, the would-be slave is obviously free to pick and choose where she will go, and under who's time and attention she will bask this day. She can even choose what nick she will be known as, and if she finds herself in trouble under one nick, can switch to another to avoid discipline or negetive attention or simply the undesired interest that she might be recieving from some Master whom she has managed to be particularly displeasing to, or does not wish to take the collar of.

The books give us a number of clues with which to unravel the confusion, not the least of which is that there was no instance in any of the 25 books where slaves were running about doing slavey-things, and yet had no owner, wore no collar or similar device to denote that they were owned.

'In every woman there is something of the Free Companion and something of the slave girl.'- Priest-Kings of Gor, page 205

'In the submission of a female slave to a Master, the slave submits to the principle of masculinity, embodied in him. In this submission, the female slave recognizes the rights of masculinity and fulfills herself by submitting her femininity to it.'' - Vagabonds of Gor, page 219

'The particular man is terribly important to the woman. He is part of the whole that enflames her.'- Dancer of Gor, page 243

'...the slave girl is not simply someone with whom the man lives; she is very special to him; she is a treasured possession...'- Tribesmen of Gor, page 42

'He had chosen the perfection of one man, the complete master, and one woman, the total slave. It is called the perfect bondage, each all and perfect to the other.'- Slave Girl of Gor, page 442

Once again, principles are at stake, and in spite of not being owned, it might be said that an 'unowned slave' is in fact, a Free Woman who is acknowledging herself ready to be slave to the right master, and advertising specifically for such. She is a 'surrendered woman', the potential for slavery has come into bloom. A 'slave-in-waiting', as it were. Being either a slave or a Free Woman is a state which a woman can strive to attain, neither is an absolute. Only ircGor panders to the vanity of Free Women who want so desperately to believe that they are slaves and attain the intimate attentions of Free Men, that they are indulged in thier masquerade and encouraged to have 'have their cake and eat it too'.

To actually become a slave is not a thing which the Free Woman has total control over. She may choose to submit, but it is the Free Man who will decide whether or not to accept her submission. Perhaps he might decided that she is not ready, or that she has not been sufficiently pleasing, or he has other things to attend to at the moment. Perhaps it simply does not please him to own her. Whatever the reason may be to accept her submission or not, the choice to do so remains in his hands. Shall men be required to cater to the whims and vanities of the women? The books are succinct in commentary; Gor is a man's world.

So why do these would-be slaves find it so repugnant to be who and what they really are; Free Women, who have acknowledged thier bellies and are ready to find the right master? I would suggest that it is simply ignorance. Ignorance of what the books themselves, the defining foundation of what it is to be of Gor, actually say on these matters. Ignorance which is reinforced in on-line venues where the reality of being of Gor is often suppressed beneath the needs of a largely role-playing community.

It should further be noted that a portion of the cause is the fervant, and even desperate, desire on the part of these women to be slave to a master, even though they are not. In this case, they are letting their desire wear a Man’s collar overrule the reality of the situation, as well as the good sense that is shown in the books regarding the matter.

There are, in fact, numerous ways to describe such an unowned woman, but to call her a 'slave' is simply a platitude at best, a sop for her sensibilities, like patting a child on the head and telling it 'Don't worry, Santa Claus really does exist'. Surely, adult women are able to deal with the truth and the reality of thier positions, and strive accordingly. For Free Men to permit it is simply pandering to her presumptuous vanity, giving in to the pretentions of a Free Woman who desires slavery.

Over the last five years or so, I have had the marked good fortune to be part of the online Gorean community as first a patron and then an operator at the IRC dal.net channel #Silk&Steel. It has been a time that I have enjoyed immensely, in many different ways. But there is one thing that I have found to be very troubling in my time on Gor, here in the friendly confines of dal.net, and that thing is the myth of the "Asshole".

To my knowledge, the term first originated, in this context, as a term of endearment among us, the ops of the Silk and Steel, although it’s long been used in other communities. It was hardly the first of our unusual customs (think about where in the books it mentions lumpy, rancid paga, for example, or where the books talk about slaves speaking in the third person), yet in some ways it represents something endemic to Gor as a whole…the thinking that Men must be assholes (small "a") in order to be Men.

"Why," you say, "how else can a Man show his dominance if not by imposing his will on others? And how better to impose his will on others than to be, for lack of a better word, an asshole? To behave in a boorish and barbaric manner. To crush any questions, to dominate any conversation, to exert his control over each and every situation by being cold, callous, cruel, and conniving?" I put to you that there are many ways in which a Man may show his true self, and none of them require a Man to behave in such a manner.

In my opinion, a Man shows his true self by demonstrating control, without question. But the first subject over which that control must be exerted is, I think, himself. Think for a moment about two men. One is huge, slovenly fat. The other is fit, a figure maintained by rigorous work and exercise. One knows nothing of culture, and speaks only of his bodily functions. The other is capable of discussing psychology, law, military precepts, literature, and theater. One is what I like to call a "Gorean frog", capable of only calling out in the tavern, "Pa-ga! Pa-ga!" The other can imagine interesting and varied services for slaves to perform in the tavern, allowing them to show their true abilities. Which of these is truly a Man, and which is merely an asshole?

I put to you, Goreans, that to be a Gorean is to be someone who understands and appreciates the world in all of its varied forms. For, if you do not, how can you appreciate all of the myriad of people who practice Gorean philosophy in all of its varied forms? From the citizens of Ar to those of Ko-ro-ba, from the Tuchuks of the plains to the tribesmen of the jungle, from the Panther Girls to the kajirae to the Torvaldslanders, there are many flavors to Gor; and those varieties are matched only by the varieties of people who come to online Gor. Doctors. Soldiers. Students. Mental health professionals. Laborers. Artists. All of them come to Gor, drawn by a philosophy in which men are Men, and women are either Women or slaves. A true Gorean should be able to appreciate them all, for if we are not able to appreciate what we are, we can appreciate nothing. If were are so caught up in petty displays of our peacock feathers that we miss the possiblities open to us in Gor, we have sadly blinded ourselves with the trees, and we have missed the true majesty of the forest.

Instead of embracing the possiblities of Gor, however, too many cling to the myth of the asshole. They spend their time commanding endless paga serve after paga serve, instead of showing a bit of imagination. Kicking out innocent people who make innocent mistakes, instead of taking a little time to teach the newcomers. In other words, taking the easy way out. I ask you, Goreans, does a Man take the easy way out?

And, lest it be said that I am holding myself up as some paragon of Man-ly virtue, let me make absolutely clear that I have done all of the things that I am accusing the assholes of doing. Sometimes at length. But I also realize that there is more to life than that. More to Gor than that. And I strive to recognize the length and breadth of what is beneath the Gorean umbrella, just as I strive to recognize the length and breadth of what is beneath the human umbrella. I find myself unable, as a Gorean, to look down on those who are not Gorean, but rather I hope that they have found for themselves a place where their lives have meaning, and I help them to find such, when possible. I find myself unable, as a Gorean, to insult and belittle people of differing beliefs and differing practices. For I am a member of a very small minority. Lest we forget, if all of the Goreans on the face of the planet who actually consider themselves such were gathered together in a matchbox, we would probably still have room for the matches.

In sum, my fellow Goreans, do not be assholes. Do not wear the blinders of unthinking tradition. And do not be the Gorean frog, croaking endlessly for paga, unless to do such truly pleases you. Be, instead, a Man. Be a Man of learning, which by all means is not limited to the information you find in books. Be a Man of compassion, yet temper that compassion with control. Be a Man of intelligence, a Man of wisdom, and a Man of, above all else, self-control. For until you control yourself, how can you control another?