The simplest question   From the time I started writing this column, I've received letters from women asking me to explain not the difference between slavery and freedom… but the "how do you know?" which you are… In a case where the choice of status between the two type of women, lies mostly in their degree of submission it's a valid question… how did you know? But before I attempt to answer it, I shall endeavor once more to clarify the distinction between free women and slaves. The outer differences are well known, things like conduct, proper behavior and protocols for slaves and free women have been dissected on many boards and forums. The inner defenses are less touched upon. In a world where slavery is consensual and voluntary there can only be one major difference between slave and free… inner need, for inner fulfillment. For no matter how we slice it, dice it and cut it up, while Gor may be a man's world, if we women did not find a full measure of fulfillment within that world… we would not be here *voluntarily* be it as slave or free… it is our needs that have brought us to this Gor and if that need was not filled we would leave. No matter slave or free, all of us chose the status which will bring us inner contentment and fulfillment. We chose happiness. Background, upbringing and past experiences will determine which needs are stronger within us, which need filling and which can be put aside easily. Due to misinformation sometimes we will make the wrong decision… but at one point we will come around full circle. And then armed with the knowledge of what is expected of free woman or a slave in one hand… and the knowledge of yourself in the other, you will make your decision.   Outside influences can make your path harder and make you doubt yourself, there's no question about it. I've been known to indulge in doubts myself. Step back and reevaluate… Are you really not a slave because someone called you "subbi brat?" Are you really not a free women because someone said "there's no such thing as a free woman?". It's true, we are all free and slave alike here for the pleasure of men and by their accord. It's a man's world should they decide they could cast us out and there's nothing we could do or say about it. But… does that mean that even a man.. can decide what you are in your heart? How can you hope to please men in any capacity free or slave, if you are not happy with your own status? And in all conscience even a man knows better then to expect to be pleased by a woman who is in discontent with her own self image. Keeping in mind the old adage that "you can not please everyone all the time", you should strive to keep your own inner peace and happiness alive, for that is the only way you will ever be able to please *anyone*. So to come back to the original subject of "how do I know?"… I can only answer you with a simple question… Are you happy? Some of us, will have to face the fact one day, that we are not content with either slavery or Gorean free woman. The Gorean philosophy is not for everyone, and as it has been said before… there’s no shame in that. The goal is not to fit your personality into a mold… but rather to find a mold that fits your personality. Just as long as you are happy with whom and what you are… just as long your entourage is happy with you… friends and family, what the rest of the world thinks does not matter. For the upcoming holidays, make this one of your first new year’s resolutions…. Being happy. I wish you all well and happy holidays   Rakella Rakella@usa.netRakella@usa.net