The Year Ahead

Of course, the Gorean year begins after the Waiting Hand, in the month of En'Kara ("First Turning") around the Vernal (Spring) Equinox - i.e. the birthday of all of the Kaiila people. But here on Earth, we must adhere to the good old Usual Calendar, i.e. the Gregorian Calendar. Remember, way long ago before the Gregorian and subsequent reforms, good old Julius Caesar wanted to begin the year at either the Spring or Autumnal Equinox, but the Senate then wanted to begin the year on January 1. Shows you where political bargaining can get you.. {For a more interesting discussion about this and no lame jokes, see http://serendipity.magnet.ch/hermetic/cal_stud/cal_art.htm}.

This is arielbird's last column for the Gorean Voice; it has been a pleasure and an honor to write for you, gentle readers.

Editors note: It won't continue, unless one of the interested step forward and offer to do it.

"There was a star danced, and under that was I born." - Much Ado About Nothing.

  KAIILA (March 21 - April 21)

Your birthday month, March, brings you some financial headaches, and you will hold on to the purse strings through August, which will be good for the beneficiaries in your life if only they learn to shut up round then. Besides trouble with academic affairs (you will be blamed for being "disruptive" - but you think they're "stuffy"), heavy and unsexy combat in love and friendship are to be expected this year, and once again you will draw the famous 'line in the sand' that will be crossed with zeal. Siblings or younger family members will be aching for a good fight, but don't fall for it. You must overcome feelings of rejection this year in order to continue to function well - realize that these feelings are unfounded and based on your hypersensitivity. Relax. This will be a good year for holing up and just simply settling in. You also will find yourself examining your religious beliefs this year and attract some people who seem to share your beliefs, but you must examine both the structure and nature of your convictions as well as questioning the people you seem to invite to your hearth. Resist the temptation this year to use your convictions as a weapon against others. Money comes to you through a father figure late this year - invest it. No wide-screen TV for you, sorry.

  BOSK (April 21 - May 21)

"Legal settlements", say the stars, pointing towards you, standing patiently in Judge Wapner's courtroom. Good news? Quite possibly. You triumph through the law this year, and money due you finally comes through, freeing you up to travel if this is what you wish. Maybe head to that Zen monastery in the mountains, breathe deeply and think of your safe nice nest egg that will grow this year if you treat it nicely. You will. You may also feel like you've "settled" in a close relationship, and think about looking elsewhere, but if you hang on through the restlessness, you will realize (by June/July) that realistically, someone who can deal with your inordinate love of the potato and patiently watching "The Wild World of Pigeons" on TV with you is pretty hard to find. However, this fall will be good for a big job switch - leave before they fire you, and leave the security and boredom of the desk job for something that seems tantalizingly exciting by November. It will be more secure than you think, and you don't have to wear a tie anymore. No, it won't be the unemployment line.

  SE-SA (May 22 - June 21)

Anytime after March would be a good time to start breathing again. Until then, beware of inhaling in public and seeming even faintly relaxed. Spouses, mates, slaves, children, and the family dog will all make inordinate demands on your time and sense of responsibility until then, and it would behoove you to avoid the Valium-and-Scotch cocktail until you get used to shouldering the world's burdens without complaint. It will end, promise, and not with your collapse. You will come out of this at the other side with a newfound respect for yourself and what you can do under pressure, and you'll find out it isn't so bad to be a grownup. May will be particularly good to you, in more than one arena.

  TOOS (June 22 - July 22)

You'll feel torn in two directions this year, to stay home and wander the Wide World of Sports, or just the wild world in general. Your usual sense of responsibility will flag uncharacteristically this year, and you may rip someone's head off at work - not good if it's the boss. Try to remain level. Leaving your job to join the circus is not the answer - but discovering a new perspective on your responsibilities is part of a new cycle for you that allows you to share some of the burden with others without you feeling guilty for the first time in a long time, surprise. Don't mingle finances with your spouse if you can avoid it though - s/he may come home with a 'surprise' that cleans out your account - though it could be pleasant the headache won't be worth it. Draw a clear line this year between 'mine', and 'yours' and don't budge an inch. Then you'll have one less thing to worry about when you embark on the second half of the year and the Great Adventure of Intimacy. It will be better this year than any other time you have known thus far. Be ready.

  LARL (July 23 - August 23)

Love has been a particular power struggle for you thus far, or you are possibly considering embarking upon a relationship that you suspect could either transform you or destroy you trying. Decide soon, baby, and run, don't walk, away if you even have an inkling about any destructive force in the Big Relationship - you're probably absolutely correct with your intuition and shouldn't tempt a Mack Truck to "see if it will work out". If you sense creative power in this relationship, proceed with caution and test the waters first somehow. Let them change your life in a little way at first and you will see how beneficial it will be. There even could be more than one person in your life this year like this, but the lesson will be the same: You Will Ultimately Change Yourself. Adaptation is not your particular strong suit, but it will be come the year's end. And no, we don't mean a new hairdo, changing your underwear or replacing your socks (though that will only help).

 BARBARIAN (August 24 - September 23)

Considering home renovation? Don't! Plumbing, walls, the foundation of the house and all else crucial and essential to house-ness will crumble like an old Ritz cracker if you fuss with it too much this year. Hire a contractor, an expert, a shrink if you must. Drop the idea of installing a Jacuzzi yourself. You can't. Sorry. Concentrate more on your job in the coming year, particularly after May. You may feel as if you just have a "job" right now, but this year, finally, it can lead to an actual career. Fathers, and father figures will be a beneficial influence on your direction, and if you can listen (which you usually can do), you will be pleasantly surprised by the amount of rather sensible direction given to you this year. You are gifted with your unusual common sense - it's not really that common, you understand - and usually your own counsel is the best one. A nosy, combative woman in your life will have to be strongly reminded this year that your life is your own. Try to be tactful, but firm. Hopefully it's not the contractor.

  TEFA (September 24 - October 23)

Brush off your traveling shoes and brush up your Shakespeare, your Portugese and your Esporonto; you'll be hitting some pretty foreign shores this year and meeting some very wild types. Between September 2002 and March 2003, your needy siblings or grown children will make your life uncharacteristically difficult for you - resist the temptation to drive your car into their living room. If you haven't siblings or grown children, thank the Gods and steel yourself to the piping, persistent voices of your younger ones, or your neighbor's younger ones, coming at you from upstairs, from behind the couch, under the stairs and Ye Gods, trying to get at you in the damn bathroom. They love you this year, but you could use a break. If you have adopted children from another marriage, hold your temper: you may set up a fruitless and foolish polarization between mate and children that just makes you look selfish and mean. Be patient and you will be showered with the affection that you so thrive upon. Take them traveling with you this year and you'll gain a new perspective on the world that you've never seen before. Disneyland counts, you know.

  NAR (October 24 - November 22)

Tighten that wrestler's belt and jump into the fray. Inheritance is due you this year, but it will be an all-out, clawing and shrieking WWF-style fight to get at it, and if you want to be a gentleman about it, you will have to have your reasons clearly spelled out why you need your share (let alone more than your share). Siblings are jerks, and lawyers are worse around this issue, so be warned. On the up side, you can generate more sorely-needed income this year through the sale of your home, through junque you've accumulated (the Water Pik? No, we mean bigger things - e.g. your second car) and just plain begging from money from Mom (you won't get it that way, though). Your mother (or mother figure) is a big important influence this year, and may criticize how you spend/get your income - try to keep her out of the loop whenever possible and present your best face forward to her. Carefully, carefully look over any fine print in real estate contracts - your interests are not taken into consideration this year and you'll need a lawyer first.

  RARIUS (November 23 - December 22)

"Don't fence me in", you cry, edging away from yet another seemingly oppressive relationship. Don't - give it some time - and try to tame your usual wanderlust with short trips to places where people don't like you. The mall, for instance. Or maybe one of those snooty art openings. This will cause the contrast of the Awful World and Lovely Home all that much sharper for you, and bring into mind the thought that the person you thought was so Smothering and Fussy really does care about, even love, you. Put everything that annoys you about your relationship with your Significant Other on a back burner for the whole year - you can and will get to it later- but if it cannot wait, get a professional counselor or see your rabbi/priest and work it out that way. Don't do it yourself. Heavy issues will come to the fore - your mate will reveal to you that she believes she was abducted by aliens, or was once addicted to disco - and it will be up to you not to Freak Out and calmly approach the matter without running away, you will be better and stronger in the end, and so will your mate. Your significant other will also look for you to be equally open with him/her, so be prepared to Spill The Beans.

  VERR (December 23 - January 20)

Significant changes this year in the realms of career, money and….shrinkage. No, we don't mean the swimming-pool type, but we do mean the "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" type. Therapy. Headshrinkers. We won't tell. If you try it, it can't hurt.. and it seems to work so well for the other people you recommend it to, eh? This is the year to do it - you've been running so hard, and so long, that you're ripe for what the witch doctor will tell you, i.e. examine your motives. Listen to lots and lots of classical music, especially the 9th Symphony by Beethoven. You will gain a specific spiritual insight while listening to this piece, different from anything before.

  THASSA (January 21 - February 19)

An introspective year for you, leading to lots of spiritual possibilities. None of them, thankfully, involve celibacy, but honestly you could care less at this point. Sexuality of the carnal sense doesn't really occur to you, and if you get involved with someone, usually it's their mind that you fall in love with first (and forever). Your love life will take the back burner for the year ahead -you will come face-to-face with some hard-won realizations about the reality of those you love.. maybe they don't cut their toenails often enough.. or perhaps they fall short of the ideal image you used to hold on to for so long. In any case, be calm about the realizations you will come to - humans are, after all, not machines, and can't be perfect and as smart as you are. As Hannibal Lecter said, "Look deep within Your Self". Except this time we promise there won't be a head in a jar. (ugh).

  PARSIT (February 20 - March 20)

Alas, too much stress is.... too much stress, this year, particularly with home and career, pulling at you from both sides. Do one first, then the other, but not both at the same time or you'll get your own nice padded room. Your intuition will tell you when to refuse a project (you can, you know) and when to take on something new- consult with your energy reserves first, not your career ambition. Burnout is a serious possibility this year, so pace yourself even if it means making less of the almighty green. There might be recognition at work for you at last, but you will have to uncharacteristically grab the spotlight and move forward with it - maybe you'll be made "team leader", in charge of the water cooler and everything. Accept the bronze pen set and move forward. Strange sudden fits of inspiration come to you this year - write it down; don't act on them all and certainly none of them right away. Many of them will be useful, particularly in the area of personnel management (which includes your family), Go with it. If you're trying to become pregnant (or trying to get someone else pregnant) this is a very lucky year for you.