By kaylee{G}

Perfection in Service

This one has discovered a common ground among those women who kaylee is close to who also seek ownership dynamics... a lot of us are perfectionists. This can be to our detriment at times- at least kaylee knows it can be for her. She struggled in the beginning with relinquishing her own ideas of what “perfect” should be and replacing her idea of “acceptable” with the measuring stick of the man she serves. Six years later, it’s a much easier process and most of the time she succeeds in using his standards, but it wrecks her focus when she finds herself resisting and placing her own standards above his.

This one learned a long time ago that universal perfection is not something she can accomplish. It doesn’t excuse her from doing the best she can possibly do. She’s also discovered that she is far, far more capable than she would once believe- luckily, the man she serves has always seen fit to keep the bar of “acceptable” high enough to inspire her best efforts. But lately, kaylee’s discovered that while she may never live in a state of flawless grace... there are those fleeting moments when perfection is achieved. When she responds instantly to every cue and performs without fail... when the execution is flawless and the results are exactly as the man who owns her expects them to be. It is in that instance when she is absolutely aware that there is nothing she desires to change about this moment, that everything is exactly as it should be, right now.

This one’s life has moments of perfection, both in service and just everyday living. They are amazing when kaylee actually notices them- a lot of time when kaylee is focused on the bigger picture or the road ahead, it makes it so much easier to miss the smaller beautiful moments that occur. And while she will not beat herself up over being an imperfect person- she will always strive to achieve as many of those moments of perfection in her service as she can, and to be aware enough to recognize perfect moments in her life when they occur.

Wandering down another path of thought...

Looking at this quote, which is a favorite of kaylee’s... perfection seems almost within reach at some point in her life. It may not be just around the corner, but it is certainly not as far out of reach as some mythical ideal of “the perfect slave.” There are times when kaylee is overwhelmingly aware he has stripped away so many protective layers to her soul, and she has been learning to live in that delicious state of naked vulnerability. It feels “purer” to her to be that way- to be without the self constructed defensive walls she used to hide behind, to finally remove old emotional scars or fears.

But is there a point with the human spirit where there is nothing more to strip away? Or will there always be something to take away, to expose the tender layer underneath? Can one find perfection by accepting their imperfections?

Just a lot to think about on this chilly day.

This one wishes you a wonderful 2005.
-kaylee{G}

kaylee has been the household property of Gabriel for over five years, and together they have shared their passion for writing on his website: www.gor-on-earth.com. Future topics, suggestions, feedback, and questions are always welcome. kaylee can be contacted at: kaylee@gor-on-earth.com