Greetings, Masters,
Greetings, Mistresses,
Greetings, girls,

Happy New Year and welcome to Dance for the month of January. This month I chose to share with you the thoughts, feelings, and changes of a girl that I've known since my first days in Gor those long years ago. She has expressed something that I tried to put into words more than I ever could with a few simple lines and the emotion of a girl who found what the book dances often express. It expresses the heart, soul, and depths of a girl understanding herself as she learns a skill that allows for the expression of emotion. I share with you what I entitle "The Change" written by barbara{H-S}, otherwise known as my twin online. [:)] If you have any questions or comments please email them to dancesofgor@hotmail.com

Wishing you well till next month,

michele

Perhaps I enjoyed the contrast, known only to me, between quiet Doreen, the librarian, and Doreen, the secret Doreen of my heart, the dancer, or far worse. Too, there seemed something meaningful, something rich and almost symbolic, perhaps even defiant, about dancing here, in this place where I worked, with its whispers, its sedateness, its cerebral pretensions, to dance here, in this place, in such a place, as a woman. Dancer of Gor, page 24

The Change

barbara{H-S}
Property of Strummer

I read shirasaya's essay on dancing (see the December issue of the Gorean Voice if you missed it) and was struck by how wonderfully she worded each thought. It is true: Dancers dance because they must. To communicate, worship, concentrate and be. Dancers dance because they must.

Growing up, I loved to watch dance. Ballet, modern, flamenco and oriental. I was given singing lessons (thank you Grandma) but what I wanted was dance lessons. I danced by myself. Circling with head flung back and arms held wide. I tapped with Shirley Temple and did soft shoe with Gene Kelly. Of course, I looked like a maniac.

I mimicked every movement I found interesting - I listened to the instruments and voices surrounding the rhythm set by drums - I danced all the time but longed for that training.

Several years ago, I discovered the submissive woman inside of me and wandered into on-line Gor. Gorean dance was the ultimate way (using words in the written on-line environment) to express what a slave felt inside. Learning that skill was important to me.

shirasaya said it well when she spoke about the differences between channels and what is acceptable in each. Just as with 'real' dance forms, written Gorean slave dance can be many things to many people and what is considered erotic by some would be considered crude pornography by others.

I know words. I know how to use them, I know how to manipulate them. To paraphrase Will Rogers, "I never met a dance contest I didn't win". From mIRC, Palace, Active Worlds and Icq, girls sought me out to teach them to express their emotions and write their dances.

Some would be happy to be good at that thing - but it wasn't enough.

What written Gorean dance did for me was awaken the sleeping desire to learn to dance - really dance. Luckily for me, I met Master Strummer and his gorgeous slave bahni. bahni is a wonderful dancer and gave me all the information I needed to find a school and start classes.

Frightening, exhilarating, challenging, rewarding. Each of these words describes the thoughts dance class feels like for me. The first day when I walked into class and found a two dozen women like me who wanted to find that dancer inside I knew it was the right decision.

Work. Hard work. Stretching muscles long forgotten. Toning muscles never felt before. Exercising every day to strengthen the entire body. Endorphins and the smiling encouragement of classmates. The well-placed praise of a teacher who moves so beautifully across the floor.

It isn't easy. Those two dozen women dropped down to about 16 the second week. By the third week, we were at our 8-10 regulars.

I felt like a water buffalo on roller blades. It seemed to me that everyone did everything better than me. I found out later that everyone feels that way. More praise came from the teachers but I still felt as if the movements were 'foreign' and not a part of me.

Again, it was bahni who came to the rescue. She gave me several videos to practice with and encouraged me to buy mid-eastern music and learn the layers and layers of sound/emotion within each song.

Having a chain sister who is so lovely is inspiring. Watching her dance is like watching a water droplet coalesce and slide down the outside of a glass. She inspires me and proves to me that I don't have to be a 19-year-old stick figure Barbie to be lovely. We are the same age, but the only things our bodies have in common is that we are both bipeds. I'm taller and heavier, she is shorter and looks like a goddess carved of marble.

I've never felt more beautiful than I do today. I've never felt more in touch with the woman inside and how to express her thoughts through physical motion. my body is becoming more muscled with curves emerging from within.

Every night involves practice of some sort. Exercise, stretching, argh! Snake arms. argh!

Every week for a year I faithfully attended class and did things over and over and over again. When it occurred to me that I'd grown comfortable and the work became easy, I realized it was time to move on and increase the difficulty level.

I've just moved from the first novice level to the second. Once more, I feel like a water buffalo on roller skates. It is true, every other girl in the class is better than me - but they've all been in the 2nd level for a year - next year I will be where they are and I will force myself to step up to level 3.

Each class is a treat. Each new skill a challenging delight.

Gorean dance is an enjoyable thing to read. There is tension when 'performing'. Will He find it pleasing? Will it be understood. Does it truly express what I want it to express.

Dancing your soul is also an exhilarating thing to do real life at a Master's feet.

Give it a try!

I danced for some time, lost in my delights, and I danced, or tried to, as would have, as I had planned, a mere slave, needful and fearful, before those who held over her the power of life and death, before her masters. Dancer of Gor, page 27