Resolutions

Two weeks ago, this girl lay at her owner's feet and she heard words that shook her to her core. He said, "You realise you will quit smoking on New Year's, slave."

Her heart froze. His girl has been a smoker off and on for 12 years. She was grateful to be permitted to do so now at his whim, but part of that habit has been so deeply engrained in her that she cannot remember the last time she has been able to not feel that urge. He has cut her smoking down to a fraction of the amount that she used to, but to surrender it completely she knew would be difficult.

Her first thoughts were horror, and fear of failure. She is terrified she will succumb to the withdrawal effects, and have it affect her service. Withdrawal symptoms can include any of the following: depression, feelings of frustration and anger, irritability, trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, headache, tiredness, and increased appetite (none of these symptoms being very pleasing in slaves). She felt shame at worrying that she might not be as graceful in her service to him when she is consumed in thoughts of doing something forbidden.

She craves to please him. But can sheer desire to please him overcome a physical and emotional addiction? In her heart of hearts, she prays it can be. She hopes this is just one more way to show her devotion to his pleasure, and to overcome something she could not have on her own.

She went through denial... as if the New Year would not arrive, and when it did, she would somehow be ready to handle a challenge she has indeed failed at each year when she made her own resolutions. Hopelessness set in, for she began to worry about her weakness and if she was indeed strong enough to do this. And then finally... gratitude, for him permitting her to strive to please him in possibly one of the most difficult things she can imagine.

She has heard that those who kick bad habits have to want to quit for themselves. If they attempt to diet, quit alcohol, drugs, or smoking for someone else, then they will eventually fail. This girl thought about that seriously, because she knows that her owner determines what restrictions are placed on her, be it foodwise or other habits. Out of sheer desire to please, she wants to succeed FOR HIM. But will that be enough, when only 6% of people attempting to cease smoking actually succeed long term?

Only time can tell. And when she modifies her life for him, be it diet, exercise, or lifestyle, she will draw on her craving to please to pull her over the rough spots. Each day she makes it will be another day she is stronger in her devotion to serving him as best as she can. In that way, it is for her own desire as well.

-kaylee{G}

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One of the tasks of the slaveowner is that of providing her with the willpower to accomplish things which she could not on her own, if those things are important to the owner- if you want a girl to achieve something difficult, it well behooves you to make sure she has the tools and the motivation to do so. Quitting smoking, regulating diet, working out, taking classes or lessons of various sorts: all these are common New Year's resolutions... and notoriously unsuccessful ones in the vast majority of cases. However, what a girl cannot do of her own initiative, may very well be more achievable with the added incentive of "Master's Will" behind it, and perhaps "Master's Whip" as well. It's far easier for the slaveowner to say "no smoking" and make it stick... after all, it's not *me* who suffers the withdrawal symptoms. (Not directly, anyway. Expectations of pleasing behavior may slip ever so slightly in recognition of the realities of dealing with addictions... but not much, and not for long.)

If any of you are still wondering what to give your slave for the holidays... a kick in the seat for her to do something she needs to, with a commitment from you to make sure she sticks with it, is one of the best gifts you could give to her *or* to yourself.

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The Gorean Voice received this letter in response to the November "Lifestyle" column, too late for the response to be included in the December edition.

"I have read that the Master controls his slave completely, and that the slave has no choice but to obey: the slave votes as the Master will have it, and so on.

"But ... Is there no allowance made for personal responsibility? Can a slave be absolved of all blame for the consequences of their actions? A Master could order a slave to rob a bank or kill an enemy. Is the slave to obey without question?

"Depending on your religious/spiritual standpoint, there may or may not be an
Accounting for actions taken in life. "I was only obeying orders" didn't
save the Nazis.

"I don't have any answers; I just think the question should be asked.
I wish you well."

Contrary to popular belief, obedience is not a defining characteristic of a slave. A slave who fails to obey doesn't stop being a slave; she just may not be a very *good* slave. The defining characteristics of slavery are firstly, the fact of another's power over her, the fact that she is completely within the power of another and helpless to resist or refuse whatever he wishes to do to her, and secondly, the inability of the slave to free herself from the bonds which enslave her, whether those bonds are physical restraint, legal and cultural customs and institutions, or emotional and psychological enslavement.

A consequence of that helplessness is that a slave is certainly strongly motivated to be obedient, since, if she is not, she is subject to whatever punishments the master cares to inflict. Could a slave choose to vote against her master's command? Could a slave refuse to go rob the bank? Certainly. *Would* she? Not if she had a healthy respect for the likely consequences of her actions. In a society where enslavement is an emotional condition and not a legal one, the wrath of her master is quite probably the one thing a slave dreads above anything the outside world can do to her.

The question the letter seems to be asking is, "At what point should a girl stop pretending she is a slave?" And the only possible answer to that is, "Either the girl is literally enslaved, or she is not. A girl can not decide to stop being enslaved: if she can, she isn't." Discussions in this column and elsewhere about literal slaves may or may not be relevant to all women who enjoy serving men, as not all such women are, in fact, enslaved.

I wish you well, and a happy new year!

-Gabriel

Gabriel and kaylee write a monthly column about issues pertaining to the lifestyles of Goreans on Earth. Questions, comments, and suggestions or requests for topics can be addressed to Gabriel@gor-on-earth.com