There is a place that only slave can go. No Master can enter here. It is a dark sanctuary where those whose necks are bare go to heal or to hide... perhaps both. They have been released from their bonds. The reasons truly do not matter, for the slave will blame herself, no matter what the cause. she will be judge and jury and will deem herself a failure.

     She is there because she no longer has a place at the feet of her Master. she is unowned and alone. His lifeblood no longer courses through her veins to warm her. she has lost her sense of identity.

     This sense of loss... this utter aloneness of no longer belonging is overwhelming. The pain is so acute that only in the darkness of this abyss can the uncollared slave find warmth. It is a place to heal.

     If the slave remains, after a time, most do heal. The scars of lessons learned marking her forever. On occasion, a slave's spirit becomes broken, making her a worthless piece of property. This one imagines they remain here forever in the darkness, unable to serve because of the fear, yet unable to leave because of the need... damned to forever ache for what once was. This is the saddest thing to witness.

     There is an exit in this self imposed prison, should the slave choose to leave her path of slavery. Those slaves that choose to remain, the need to serve in their heart will grow, their bellies aching in their desire to once again please men...

And so the journey begins...once again...

     An unowned slave is challenged differently than one who wears steel. The owned slave is defined by the desires and pleasures of her Master. The unowned slave does not have the luxury of such guidance.

     There are those who feel that a female may only be slave if steel surrounds her neck. That it is the enslavement itself that makes her slave. While others feel that a slave is defined by what is in her heart and belly.

     It is this one's opinion, that Man brings a female to the path of slavery. And that this is done through ownership. However, once on that path, the girl herself will choose either to remain or abandon her slavery... for only she knows what rests within her heart and belly.

     This one has asked, several owned and unowned slaves to discuss the various challenges that the unowned slave experiences. She wishes to thank gentlyfawn, silke{Sea}, lyritana, aprell, neema and najida{R} for sharing their wisdom and experiences of the unowned slave.

belle{A^}

gentylfawn

     It is with great difficulty a girl comes to realize perhaps she can never be a true slave, unless she is owned. Knowing a Master is a Master where ever he goes, and a girl is just a girl, unless she is owned and serving in her heart, mind and belly. To this girl, slavery is not just a desire from fantasy, she is seeking to feel that totality of surrender, that ring of steel or binding fiber to encircle her neck...a seemingly never ending search for that One. One to collar and make her real in his eyes and the eyes of the Goreans that live and breathe on Earth.

     Being an unowned girl has many trials, not so unlike those of an owned slave. There are times when it's painful to be a slave, when begging to be at a man's feet is dangerous, her total trust is given because he tells her he is Gorean. Who is a girl if she is to dispute or become overly curious and ask him questions? It's painfully hard to take a man at his word, when slaves all around her are being used and tossed away in irc Gor like old rags. Is that Gorean? A girl doesn't think so, but then this is Earth.

     How do girls grow and learn to be more pleasing as an uncollared slave? This one is not sure, she has not found peace in the serving of many men, all want something different from a girl... most men have a judgement on what is Gor, who is Gorean, etc. It is difficult for a girl to remain focused on her surrender if she is never sure she is being pleasing.

     On the positive side, being uncollared allows a girl to travel freely, in order to be in the presence of Gorean men, to be allowed to even enter the realm of their Taverns, a girl is blessed. An unowned girl can do many things to bring a Master's attentions, whether or not he chooses to acknowledge her is something else, but for a nod or a "well done, girl", just the accepting of a drink after being allowed to serve is all a girl needs sometimes to validate her surrender. If a man wishes to have a table or pet, a girl should be happy to do as he commands, being grateful to be used by him in any small way.

     Being an uncollared slave, brings as much discipline as the collared by a girl learning, listening and cultivating in a graceful and feline or feminine manner, skills necessary to serve. Being in the community of girls serving their Masters, a girl can watch and dream and desire to be more pleasing each day. And hope that one day in the Gorean mindset of real life... to be taken for the slave she is and collared.

     Remembering the fear of being branded NOT SLAVE in this realm is but a test for some....do they go on and try harder to be pleasing? Is it where they belong or do we, as uncollared girls, turn tail and run... crying? Be strong and persevere?

     A man wants an intelligent slave, one whom finds pleasure in serving his every need. Be who you are and nothingness and a Master may notice you. But keep in mind he will not beg you to be his, it is you that must beg. Perhaps that is why this girl and so many are uncollared?

     Is it selfishness in wanting a Master of our own? Is that selfish or is that society in the way of Man and Wife...a girl thinks it's selfish. A man, a Gorean man can own as many as he desires, it perhaps is the girl that does not beg and misses out on her surrender by selfish desires that as slave she, has NO rights to, except those which men give.

     In taking that into mind, an unowned girl is her own protector, she must learn to serve men with open mind and heart without creating danger online or real for herself...a hurt or endangered kajira is of no use to anyone. She must learn to instantly shield her self from hngs that tend to gravitate to Gor because of the natural belly of a girl to open and serve him as Gorean....it's not a slave's place to judge or whimper about who she is serving, but she can ask the Master or Mistress she knows well, about her concerns and let them be the judge of action.

     Never should a girl divulge personal information leading to her door, unless she is truly willing to serve the man that knocks. Use of today's technology is open for slaves and a girl believes any true Master would expect her to be wary of those new to her.

     As for handling dangerous commands just being at a man's feet in total surrender could be dangerous in itself, but that, as slaves, is where we need to be. This girl thinks we need trust enough to know that the Master, however cruel or inhumane it may sound, would never damage his property even if she was one he is using for an hour....she is Gorean property and like livestock, has some value. Trust and surrender are what makes this one slave out of a collar. The desire to be pleasing be it table, pet or slut, to serve as the Master commands.

     If we are afraid to be ultimately controlled, perhaps the girl without the collar might rethink her position of slave. Once a collar is on your neck...your last choice was to beg it. It is in this girl's humble opinion that that is the most fearful and dangerous of all about being uncollared....is the begging of a collar.

silke{Sea}
Property of seawinder

     As one with limited "online" experience in this topic, silke will share her feelings as to how she dealt with being released after serving a man for 6 years. Her daily struggles and internal thoughts, hopefully, this will be of some use to your article.

     As the Master's health became more and more debilitating, it was realized that he would need the type of care only trained professionals can offer. No longer could he be tended by the girls, two, that had served him for 6 years. This in itself was painful, to realize that after years of service, you can no longer meet the needs of the one you love.

     There was much talk, as Master always discussed before making decisions, even though we obeyed his choices, he felt we needed to be made aware of his reasons. The day came when we were both released from his collar, from his service. This was emotional for two reasons, first, the man we loved and strove to please was going into a hospice, with the prognosis being a slow death. The second being, we were now alone, released from the only life we had known for 6 years.

     Of course, his well being came before our own feelings, so the pain of being released probably took longer to settle in, since we were more concerned with how he was being treated, and his comfort. Dealing with the daily emptiness, no longer wearing his collar, suddenly finding yourself making breakfast in the same fashion you had all those years, only to realize, he wasn't there to enjoy it, were all the little things we had to come to grips with. One day, waking up with the panicked thought, "it is over, he is gone"... silke cant describe well enough, the fear and pain that raced through her, its as if you have a hole in your heart, it hurts just beating.

     How does one get through the days after release? This question was asked of silke, she will do her best to answer, as to how she made it through. Time is something that no one can control, it continues, so the days just kept passing. Alot of them were a blur, thank goodness, but silke remembers her days filled with visits to the hospice, packing, and trying to maintain a full time job, so there were not a lot of spare moments to sit and ponder. Once silke had become settled with her new living arrangements, things mellowed out, and the pain surfaced, twofold

     For silke, she had a couple of choices, since she hates taking drugs, for any reason, that was not an option. Pouring herself into work, if overtime was offered, jumping at it, doing whatever it took to fill her days with productive jobs. Having a side hobby helped, silke's parents bred and showed dogs, so immersing herself in that was a blessing. Advice to others? How to deal with loss, and pain? That's a toughie.

     What worked for silke was to try and fill every waking moment with something else, to try and control her mind with thoughts of anything, other then what she craved the most. This worked for the most part, however, the nights, she hadn't figured out how to erase her thoughts while sleeping and the house was quiet. It's funny, tears have a mind of their own, and they creep up on you at the darndest moments. This girl doubts there is any sure fire, fool proof way to go through the pain and fear of being released without shedding a few tears. Everyone is different, and deals with hurt in their own way, silke can only say what worked for her.

The personal items, jewelry, or little treasures that he, over the years bestowed upon us, now in boxes, stacked neatly in the closet. The collars that were placed on our necks, every once in a while, are brought out, just to caress and remember. How can you forget the past? silke wonders if you should, or rather put it to good use, storing the memories in a special place, bringing them to surface on occasion. Having moved on, silke finds her cherished memories, and though each man is different, she finds that the lessons he took the time to teach her are firmly planted, helping to guide her in constant efforts to be pleasing.

lyritana

     At first it was a type of shock. I had never been unowned before, having been in an inn collar when first coming to Gor. The release meant more to me than just losing the Master, it meant that I was alone and the responsibility for growing further was now my own and not his. Not only was I alone, but I found that I was lonely. The feeling reminded me of what Tarl Cabot said in Outlaws about how lonely it must be for a girl on a slaver's chain.

     I feel more pressure now than I did in his collar which is in a way odd. I think though, it's because before I had parameters to live within, set with what was pleasing to him, not necessarily anyone else, and now I set my own parameters, merely keeping in mind what is expected of a slave and nothing specific.

     Sometimes that is very hard, especially not knowing what specifically will be pleasing. I knew him, and knew his expectations of me. Now, I feel sometimes as if I am stumbling about in the dark, hoping that I don't bump into a wall.

     I'm afraid now too, where I wasn't before. Afraid to trust my judgements. Sometimes I feel like I'm clinging to a rope, ready to drop and not knowing how to stop the fall. I've gone back to reading the books again, haunting the boards and discussion channels.

     Listening more, trying to find the focus that was once so easily before me. I get angry with myself at times too, thinking that I have become this so needy person that grasps desperately at the attention a Master shows me, and then on the other hand so fearful of displeasing one that I spend more time "behaving" as I call it then interacting as I once did.

     I don't think of myself as not being a slave because I am unowned. The needs are still very much a part of me. The focus has shifted though. I feel like I have to do and say everything perfectly now, because of it. There is no room for error to me now, because I don't have someone to snap me back in line. There is no one who sets the standards for me to live by now, other than myself. I still try to hold to what was expected of me at the Inn and in my Master's collar, but it's not the same feeling inside as when I did so with the thought of not failing them in mind. Now it is myself I don't want to fail.

     I am grateful to the Free who have helped me through this, even unknowingly. After I was released, I met a Master who I know had no knowledge of what I had gone through. He didn't ask, I didn't offer it. We spent several hours talking. I found I was desperate to please him, his aura was so "there" that I would have done anything he wanted me too, just so he would be pleased. I know that he doesn't know how he helped me, but I know it. Because of that relatively short interaction, I found the strength to stay and continue learning. I know too, that I lean on him sometimes, relying on him as a surrogate Master to keep my focus.

     I won't beg another collar online, not without meeting offline first. There are many things that have changed for me about how I regard myself and Gor. I also want the complete package, so I find I am more cautious in letting my belly rule my head so to speak. I can serve online, but when it comes to being owned, I want to be owned. I know that sounds so selfish, but anything less would be unfair to both the Master and myself. I keep trying though. My focus now has shifted to striving harder, not for me, but for the man who will someday consider me worthy of his ownership.

aprell

     After being released by her only Owner, she found out that being an unowned slave is not easy. She tries to think of herself as not a whiner. She is tough and even tries to push her feelings aside... denying them until what is left is a coldness which runs through her soul. There have been times she has hidden her feelings from everyone. Or tried to... her best friend can always see through her. The sad thing is, in denying what is in her heart and belly, she only hurt herself. And no matter how hard she tried to run from those feelings, there was an ache that ran through her... an emptiness that she thought she only felt. Since release, she has had such a longing for the strength of an Owner and need (yes she said need) to be at a Master's feet.

     This one always seems to learn the hard way... but she never makes the same mistake twice. This one's sister holds her close, always trying to compensate and to help this girl along this lonely path. There are other slaves who say being uncollared is ok. This one just smiles and laughs to mask what is really deep inside. To this girl there is no way any girl can say, online or offline, they are a slave without a Master to truly bring what is deep down inside of them to life.

     All it takes is one Master to bring to life something you perhaps did not want to feel... who knows the female mind at times, she sure does not and she is a female. This Master who makes her crawl and beg until she feels a hunger overwhelm her and takes hold like a fist clenching her belly. She has heard others call it a burning... all she knows is, it is a pain which grips and twists her insides until that Master allowed this one to be who she is... and that is a slave.

     We all grow at different stages. For this girl its not the shift of a key with the name of a Master inside that makes her a slave but the Master himself. She has learned and still does on irc Gor. But a new hunger has been born and it grows in her everyday getting stronger... aching to feel that touch and look up into his eyes then she will know collared or not what a slave really feels. To this girl it is the Master that owns the girl not the collar. She impatiently waits for the day when she looks into his eyes and know... this is where she belongs.

neema
Property of Moon_of_Hupa

     This one has often stated that the only thing worse than not being owned... is being owned by the wrong man. But being the better of two evils, is little compensation to those who are unowned.

     This one has spent more of her time here in this community unowned, than owned. It is not an easy thing to be... not free, yet not enslaved. The basic 'rules' are slightly different; standardized and developed for the masses.

     In serving many men, there is an opportunity to refine a slave's craft, that of learning how to please the Master. It is harder serving many, it is more confusing and less satisfying. Not because one doesn't wish to please men, but because the knowledge that she has truly brought pleasure... that connection and bond that allows her to look beneath and *feel* it, is not there.

     It can, at times, almost become impersonal. This may not be such an awful thing as it returns her to the purest ideals of slavery - just another beast whose purpose is to serve and please. It is an important lesson and experience in itself, one which makes her truly grateful when there comes a time that she is owned.

     But in the end, impersonal will not be that which fulfills her. It is a step on the path, but not the journey itself, in her opinion. The journey truly begins when one takes from her, leading her down the path he desires, taking her onward and forward. As a girl, her entire being is so wrapped up in serving and pleasing and belonging to a Master... that it becomes hard for her to feel like she is truly a slave while unowned. Her desires may be the same, she may still be able and allowed to serve men, but... it isn't really the same.

     Unowned, there is a huge element that is missing for her. That of being owned. There is this totally inexplicable sensation, feeling and purpose that is missing when one is not 'owned'. It is much like going through all the motions to cook a big dinner, all the while knowing that none will eat it, that it will have to be disposed of. One does their part, takes pride in it, seeks to perfect it, makes it pleasing... but a large, empty hole exists at the end.

     There is no one there to crawl to when she is at her lowest. There is no one single idea of right and wrong that she can use to gauge if she did well or not. No one man to focus her entire being and energies on. No one man who she can strive to please... she must strive to please them all.

     And in making it a group of men to serve, it removes the possibility of trust for her. Trusting in him to be who and what he is, trusting that what he says - he will do, trusting that he will own her as long as it pleases him to and no longer. Trusting that as long as he says it is so, she will belong to him. Trusting him to know her better than even she can, to take her farther than she ever thought she could go... just to please him.

     It is like being unowned is a pause. It is a time of limbo as she seeks to gain her bearings and find a direction to go, until that time when a man wishes to take her with him on his journey. Serving and pleasing men, on it's own, seems to be only the very tip of what is possible, compared to when she is owned. She herself only seems part of what she could be.

     Being unowned serves a purpose, she believes, but it is not where she is supposed to stay. She was built... created... to serve a man, completely, fully, without reserve, with her entire being. Unless she can do so, it seems as if she is not fulfilling her purpose, and so being unowned would always feel as if something is missing.

     Perhaps she is more grateful to be owned, since she knows what it is to be unowned.

najida,
Property of Randy_

     Being an unowned slave is fraught with dangers which can transcend from your virual life to off line life. To be certain, the very best thing a slave in this situation can do is find a group she trusts and take her questions and concerns to them when she is unsure what should be done in a given situation.

     Remembering that as slave she is subject to all who are Free, a girl should constantly look to them for council and guidance. Don't be afraid to ask a Master or Mistress you know and trust about someone who is pressing you for personal information about yourself information.

     First and foremost, it is imperative to distinguish the difference between a demanding Free person who might be disciplining or instructing a slave and someone who is pressing for personal information in what the slave feels is an unsafe manner.

     Never, never give out personal information to someone you don't know, such as your address, phone number, work number, even your real name. Goreans are honorable, the problem lies in knowing who is Gorean and who is not.

     If you are being pressured and there is no one you trust to ask about the person pressing you, then as much as najida hates to suggest this, as a last resort, beg permission to leave due to an emergency at home, if you are not given permission, then shut off your computer. It is better to be punished later for leaving without permission, than it is to stay in a situation you feel is dangerous to your physical and or mental well being than.

     To this end, najida's best advice is to stay in the serious discussion channels. Here you will learn to sort out the real from the wannabes. In addition, you will meet other slaves who can and will be happy to help you with the many questions which are sure to arise as you learn.

Moving forward...
Some last thoughts
belle{A^}

     So many thoughts and fears clutch at the uncollared slave's heart. The fear of the unknown, self recrimination and self doubt...is she worthy enough? Will she make the same mistakes or perhaps not good choices? Is her hunger blinding her or is he indeed, the One?

     She may walk alone for a long distance, the fear paralyzing her from venturing too near a Master. Remaining in the safety of the darkness where she hides her true feelings. In the end the slave cannot remain within the abyss, for the need which gnaws relentlessly within her belly is much too great. The ache within her heart so painful... she has no choice but seek the Master and belly before him.

     When his presence fills her, warming her... breathing life back into her, all fear is forgotten... there are no doubts as she lays before him, shimmering eyes mirroring the emotions that fill her soul as he accepts her beg and collars her. Once again given a focus... a purpose. she is owned... and through this enslavement she now belongs. The lifeblood which feeds her comes from the will and desires of her new Owner. The joy that fills her is indescribable. The newly collared slave lays before her Master believing, with all of her heart, that 'this time it will be different'.

     Each time this girl sees a slave being collared, she says a small prayer for them hoping very much that it will be so.

she wishes all of you most well,
belle{A^}