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Child rearing
Several times there has been questions posted by single mothers as to how to raise a child in this community.
How does one teach a child to be Gorean, without going into slavery and mastery?
I don’t have all the answers, this I know.
What I do know is that Gor is not about slavery and mastery but about values.
If you teach your child the values of what being Gorean stands for, you can not go wrong.
Not once, not twice but numerous times these values have been stated in various posts and writings, their meanings have been depicted and at times dissected. Always they remain steadfast and at the forefront of what is expected of a Gorean.
It goes without saying that the only way you can ever pretend to teach a child anything is by adhering to it yourself believe me the worst saying there is happens to be "do as I tell you, not as I do".
Truth :
Teach them that while things they do, can at times make you angry or furious. That while you may punish them for it that forgiveness of errors is always just around the corner but that the only thing that could make you truly disappointed in them is a lie. For after a lie it is impossible for you to trust them anymore you may find this harsh to say to a child but it’s the truth and if you can’t tell a child the truth how do you expect him/her to be truthful?
Integrity:
Teach them that being themselves, is the only thing that they are guaranteed to be the best at. No one else but them can be them completely and truly without reservation. That society, will never no matter how much pressure is put upon them, walk in their shoes and live their lives for them, therefore they must live it for themselves.
Respect:
Is not something that happens overnight. It is something that you earn. It is not earned by position or power, even if those who are in power and hold high positions are shown great respect. For there is a great difference between showing someone respect for their position, and actually respecting someone for their actions.
Honor:
(smile, I know women are not to address such issues as honor, but I will not stray from a small description)
The single most prized possession they can have is their honor. Only they can gather it to them and only they can destroy it.
I would suggest that those of you that have young boys and no owner, seek out a man whom you trust to best tell you how to instill the concept of honor in them.
Courage :
How many mistake courage to mean reckless or fearless. Sometimes it takes more courage to step back from a fight then to actually fight. Courage is not to be fearless, but to face your fears. To do what you feel is right despite your fear of the consequences or what may happen.
Responsibility:
Hold your child accountable for their actions be they good or bad. It is the only way to teach them responsibility. Give them responsibilities to handle, do not do everything for them. Set forth tasks and goals be it in school, hobbies or after school activities. Make them responsible, do not give them an allowance, but have them earn it. Teach them the value of money.
Strength :
Physical strength only last as long as you’re standing. Mental strength is what gets you through when you are down. Inner strength will get you through anything and everything.
Masculinity:
As with honor I would suggest you seek out a man you trust for input on this subject also. However I will point out one or two things as I see them.
Teaching a boy how to be a man without falling into the easy trap of creating an ego maniac, is not easy. Watching my friends two young boys, I noticed something interesting boys know how to be quite naturally it’s when you try to teach them how to be that problems seem to arise. In other words the above points are only to counter the influences of society, after that nature runs its course well naturally.
Feminity
A bit of a more touchy subject.
Teaching a girl not to be ashamed of being a girl. That liking to do feminine things is not a bad thing.
Highlight the benefits, and don’t be afraid to tell them that feminism is just a bunch of cr..
I would caution you, that in your search to teach them to be more feminine you do not stifle their natural self. Do not make them into little mousy beings afraid to speak to a man. Do not teach them to be afraid of men. Teach them instead how to discern the qualities within the men around them so they will know the difference between a man and a male.
I do not know how much of this is helpful to anyone, if anything is helpful at all. But at least hopefully it will set you to searching for how best to raise your children within the values and beliefs you hold dear.
Well wishes to all
Rakella
