Many times, I have become so disgusted by what I see running rampant on the nets, in various forms, under the guise of "Gorean interaction," that I was tempted to turn my back on the whole mess. In fact, I have even done so to a certain extent; i.e, resolving to cease considering certain persons, virtual places or online groupings as anything "Gorean" at all and henceforth treating them in the same manner I would treat any other person, virtual place of online grouping which was not Gor-themed or Gor-related.

     Heck, if someone wants to completely ignore the source books and prance around online making it all up as they go, then who am I to dispute it? And how can I, or my actions, substantially effect such activities? It is gratifying to note that over a period of time many such online groups of individuals seem to fizzle out and wander off in search some other interesting game to play.

     I often heave great sighs of disdain at the many continual online "feuds" which develop among assorted online parties: i.e, SOI Gor vs. IRC Gor, DALnet Gor vs. AUSTnet Gor, Yahoo Gor vs. AOL Gor, and any other combination one might dream up.

     I do not, per se, consider myself to be an IRC Gorean, or a corkboard Gorean, or any other such nonsense label. I do not even consider myself a "Silk & Steel" Gorean, and I am one of that tavern's SOPs. I hang my virtual hat there, as do many of my friends and comrades, but I deny that the label of "S&S Gorean" has any validity whatsoever. A Gorean is a Gorean... or at least, that is how it is supposed to work.

     I am, to my mind, first and foremost, just an Earth dweller who happens to entertain a great interest and fondness for the Gor books, and the various elements which combine to make them the unique literary phenomenon which they are.

     I espouse "Gorean principles," not necessarily because they are "Gorean," because they are NOT. They are EARTH principles, all of which were taken and examined by John Norman (who also happens to be an Earth man), from Earth society and history, and incorporated into his novels. I espouse those principles because they make sense to me, seem relevant to my existence, and seem good to me.

     To paraphrase a quote from James Branch Cabell:

     "I am Marcus. I follow after my own thinking and my own desires."

     Therefore, when one examines the matter in that way, I am not "Gorean" at all. I am just an Earth man trying to fumble his way through the fog, a bit at a time, and define my own existence here on Earth. As are we all, I suspect.

      Am I Gorean, then? Well, since I was not born on, or transplanted to, another world, and since the world of Gor is fictional in origin, then I very well can't be, can I? Not unless I decide for myself that "SOI Gor," or "IRC Gor," or some other Earth incarnation of such is ACTUALLY Gor. And believe me, those places, and their like, bear very little resemblance to Gor as it is described in the books themselves. They are NOT Gor; they are representations of it, seen through the eyes of various groups of people. And it sometimes saddens me to see them become less and less like the societal norm displayed in the books, and more and more enclosed and penned in by councils, brotherhoods, secret societies and such.

     But I digress.

     Am I Gorean? Technically, no.

     Would I like to be? You bet.

     I consider myself, therefore, to be a would-be emigre to Gor; not an IRC Gorean, or SOI Gorean, or anything else. Just an honest, basic, happy-go-lucky Gorean wannabe. Why? Well, because I "wannabe" on Gor. And if I cannot get there, well, then, I wanna be in the closest simulation of it which is possible for me to maintain in my present circumstance.

     Sometimes I am forced to turn my back on those who simply refuse to accept anything that I write, or anything that Norman writes, to have any value other than as a backdrop for some sexual cybergame. I do so much the way I would respond to those who consider themselves online klingons or vulcans, or vampires, or whatever. I just kind of shrug and say "Okay, whatever floats your boat. If you believe that you are simulating something out of the Gor books, you are way off base; but hey, to each his own."

     Sometimes, you just have to walk away from those types. Attempting to explain your position to such a one, or to argue it logically, is simply a waste of time, time which would be better utilized elsewhere, for the act of living one's life.

     Then again, every now and then, someone appears with a new concept about what Gor is and how it should be applied to our lives, online or off. I pay close attention to such things. If they are correct, if what they say makes sense and jives with the books, then cool! We have all learned something new. But when someone sets forth concepts that go totally against the grain of Norman's novels, that is a bitter pill for me to swallow. In fact, I refuse to do so. I tend to spit that pill right back in its proponent's face.

     I am, first and foremost, a big fan of the Gor books. I've read the entire series a dozen or so times, and have paid close attention to what is written therein. Jack Lange (John Norman) has been ascribed as having said, in reference to me upon viewing my little online map of Gor, that "this Marcus fellow probably knows more about Gor than I do myself (chuckle)." So when it comes to the books, I know my stuff. I love those books, and the rich, varied tapestry of Gorean life which they portray. And it burns my buns when I see it misrepresented in any form or forum.

     That having been said, we are all in the same virtual boat, here. Sometimes we all have to turn our backs on the scoffers and disbelievers and just continue on with what we are doing. But to me, it is not simply a matter of defending one IRC channel, or group of channels, or Net, or medium of Gorean interaction: it is about defending GOR and making sure that those who seek it, in any medium, can find it, or at the very least get a push in the right direction.

     There happen to be few modes of Gorean themed online communication where there is still a gathering of people who are primarily fans of the Gor books themselves, not simply partisans of some channel or network or whatever. That is the reason that I visit such places; because there, we can discuss, debate and actually touch on topics which relate to Gor without having to deal with an endless parade of gawkers and hackers and finger-pointers. I enjoy such venues very much, and thank those who create and maintain them.

     Again I admit that I am perpetually puzzled by the fact that so many people who hold the Gor books in such high regard should be constantly at odds with one another regarding what seem to be, at times, mere minutae.

     Then again, as Tarl tells us in Beasts of Gor, such matters as the interaction between human beings are complex, and require much study in order to fully understand and appreciate.

     There has been much going on in the world, and many things which have happened throughout the online "world of Gor". Ultimately, what I have seen intermingled with the reporting of facts and (in some cases rather loudly voiced) opinions, is a question of the basic foundation of everything I consider Gorean. That is a question of Honour.

     To define:

     Honour 1 a : good name or public esteem : b : a showing of usually merited respect

     Honesty, Integrity, Duty, Respect and above all, Honour. This has been said before, by myself, and men more worthy of the title Gorean than I. And above all, Honour. You cannot be true to yourself, or your society, without Honour. And above all, Honour. Respect is given to one who shows Honour in how he conducts his life and interacts with those around him. And above all, Honour. Actions which turn questionable in nature, causing others to raise an eyebrow and call attention to those actions, show the lack of Honour, the lack of respect for life and lifestyle.

     There is no excuse, there is no cause, there is no reason that can support a lack of honourable action. The selfish, and greedy, do not have any respect for life, but instead only work to further themselves at the cost of all else around them. They have no integrity, are not willing to accept what the society demands, all because they just don't like it. They dishonour those who hold the attributes of Honesty, Integrity, Duty, Respect...by their actions and words, they scoff at us who have done what we can to live our lives based on these words, these ideals. For they are more than just words to us. They are the core of our being, they are the foundation of our lives and lifestyle.

     ...and above all, Honour.

     There is nothing higher than to be looked at by other men and be called one of Honour, to be respected by those around you because of this one core personal trait. It is Honour which calls us together, Honour which binds us as a brotherhood, Honour which holds our society together. For if Honour should fail, society will fall. Honour is the key element, it is that which is held most dear.

I wish all well.

Greylin `//olffe

     Yesterday I took part in an exhilirating spontaneous discussion on Gor. Much of the discussing was on the part of the slaves in the room, while the Free would occasionally interject a comment here and there. One "slave" in particular was quick to post quote after quote from the books. While others were sharing opinions, this one girl kept stating "in Captive, this slave behaved this way, In Slavegirl, that slave did this." I could see the frustration building in the others in the room as they struggled to learn and to share their own thoughts, while this person continued to recite from the sacred scrolls. Finally, I stated that this journey is not about modeling ourselves after two-dimensional characters in fictional stories. It is about looking deeper to understand the philosophies which motivate these characters to behave the way they do. I've always seen the characters as a sort of "visual aid" which Norman uses to demonstrate his theories of the natural order. The aforementioned slave grumbled about being misunderstood and eventually left the discussion.

     Today it was brought to my attention that this same slave quoted my own words on a public board. I chuckled and wondered if she had had some sort of epiphany overnight.... or if she was simply doing what she did best... parroting another's words instead of thinking on her own. Without hesitation, I assumed the latter.

     Then.... I stopped and wondered why I made that assumption.

     Recently, someone whom I'd not seen in some time said to me, "Dangrus, you have changed. You used to be softer..."

     I know this is true. How can anyone make this journey and not be changed in some way? I am more cynical than I was when I entered Gor. More suspicious of people's motives. I know that I have found strengths within myself I never knew I had. But I also know that I am in danger of losing something precious to me.... My humanity.

      There are two forces at work here.

     One is the essential truths of Norman's philosophies. Through them I find strengths and a feeling of being "centered." Where once I felt adrift in this society of equality, now I find myself securely anchored in the reality of the natural order. That is something I will be eternally thankful for.

     The other is this online atmosphere. The cavalier attitude toward the feelings of others that is so prevalent here. The blatant cruelty and downright meanness with which people treat each other. I do not believe people come here that way. I think this medium brings that out. The illusion of safety that annonymity affords us gives some free reign to do things they cannot (or would not have the nerve to) do in real life.

     A friend told me once that although there is much deceit online, the way people behave here is a more accurate reflection of a person's true character than real life. We are not held accountable by any laws online. We are as honest or dishonest here as we choose to be. It is only our own personal honor that governs us. For some, that is the only way we know to be... for many, that is an impossible task. In real life, you get one name. One face. If you have a dispute with someone you have two choices... confront them and settle it or walk away and move on with your life. You cannot slip on a disguise and harrass them. You cannot change your name and start over as if nothing happened. Strange. One of the mainstays of the Gorean philosophy is to take responsibility for your own actions and yet here, where people are so quick to claim the title of "Gorean" it rarely happens. The pervasive attitude of "who cares, it's only online," spreads like a cancer, poisoning for many what could be a wondrous experience.

     When we lose sight of the people, the human beings behind the names on the screen... we lose something of our own humanity.

     I know that deep within me beats the same heart I came here with. A strong heart that is loving and kind and compassionate. It is just no longer on my sleeve, but tucked down deep within the walls I have erected to protect it. It is more carefully guarded, but it is still there.

     We each have our own struggles. Mine is to use the strengths I have found within to protect the softer heart of me. Oh, I still love the same way I fight for what I believe is right.... with every fiber of my being. Only now, I am more discerning about whom I care for and trust, just as I carefully choose my battles. I try to maintain my perspective.

     Because if the day comes when I see only names on my screen.... if I ever feel the temptation to lie or cheat or manipulate those names just because I can.... if the time ever comes when I cannot reach inside and feel my own humanity.... that will be the day I know that I have stayed here too long.

     Becoming Gorean should make one more human..... not less. Reading the books is only the prelude. The real journey begins after that. The journey into yourself.

     To those whom I have hurt with my self-protective cynicism, I apologize. To those whom I have welcomed into my heart, know that you will always have a home there.

     To those who are still searching for Gor... there is only one place to look.... inside.

I wish you well,

Dangrus