I HAVE NO NAME

Chapter 3

     I smiled as I lay my ear to his wrist, listening to soft reverberating, the ticking of the watch. I had forgotten the sound that had been taken away long ago since technology had forged ahead. Tracing my fingertips lightly over his wrist, brushing them over the glass face and glanced back at the man. He was a visitor to my owners home, his name I didn’t know. Pressing my ear close again to the time piece, listening to the soft sound, I softly mouth the silent words, "names...... names........ names......." over and over.

     Curling his large hand around my neck as I pressed close to the warmth of the mans’ body , I rubbed my feet together trying to warm the chill that ran through me. Touching my thumb lightly to each finger, I counted in my mind how man times I had found myself in bed with this man, pleasing him. Lifting my shoulders in a slight shrug, it mattered not, calling all men who entered my owners home, ‘Master’. I knew not how many men I had been given to, having lost track a long time ago.

     Tenderly, my hand caressed over his, it felt softer and richer then any fine suede. He stirred for a moment, and pulled me closer, his breathing again entering a soft pace of slumber. As I had promised, I would continue to convey this story, in a peaceful state I let my mind wander. The stripes of the wallpaper which I had so lovingly hung, soon blended and the pattern was gone as my past crept forward.

     After my first meeting with my owner, I knew at that very moment I would do anything to be with him always. My need of him had grown to such proportions, I was barely able to function, his world had become the only one I wished to be part of. Moving like a ghost through each day, nothing having any meaning, nothing bringing any pleasure. If birds sang, I did not hear it, if I ate, there was no flavor, if my family gave me love, I could not feel it. There was nothing, only him.

     Within months my life was packed into a few boxes, everything else being stored, sold or given away. I did not even need those few boxes. There was only one thing that could feed this insatiable hunger, this starvation that gnawed deep within my soul, it was him. It felt sometimes as if I had lost someone, in mourning. Maybe I had, I had lost myself and only he could give me life now. With each moment in his presence , it was almost as if turned a valve and my blood seeped through my veins, my heart beat, my lungs filled with life. With each flow of life that rushed through me like the brisk fall wind, I was more at his mercy.

     I finally stood at his doorway, my few meager possessions in tow, even those would become his once I entered his home. As I stood at the entrance to his home, I could hardly contain my excitement. I rapped softly on the smooth wooden surface of the door in anticipation. With no response I knocked harder and leaned close trying to listen and heard no sounds from within. I checked the number and paper I held in my fist, now scrunched into a ball. I slipped down from the stoop and walked slowly around the back, hoping maybe he was in the backyard. Finding it empty, I moved back to the front and waited patiently.

     Maybe he was busy, maybe he couldn’t get away from work, maybe something was wrong. The midday sun was just rising, the warmth almost searing my skin. As the hours passed, too afraid to leave and missing him, I sat on the steps, the hot concrete uncomfortable. As the sun slowly lowered, early evening setting in, my stomach churned from hunger. I relented and left my watch for a few minutes to get a drink and use the washroom and quickly returned.

     Darkness slowly encompassed the sky, and a foreboding fear set over me, maybe he didn’t want me, maybe this was the wrong house. I found it hard to imagine what would become of me, I honestly didn’t know how I could survive with out him, my life no longer had meaning unless I was at his feet. I rocked slowly on the step, as the darkness took over. Strange sounds took over the night, I was so alone and needed him more then ever. I must have fallen asleep, for he did come, he did want me, his foot nudging me to awaken. He opened the door and looked back for a moment, no explanation, no words of greeting or joy to see me and spoke one word, "Come."

     I carried in the boxes and set them aside, the joy of seeing him took away and questions that may have run through my mind earlier. Within in a half hour, I had been beaten with the kurt, my welcome to my masters home, and found myself chained in a spare room to the floor. With my new life ahead, my dreams, and my only desire to please, I curled up and fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning. I was now where I was always meant to be, my peace, my touch of heaven.

     A soft stream of light, seeped through the curtain, light beams playing with small flecks of dust casting a soft glow on the man’s face who’s arms I was encased in., Back to my reality now, and away from past memories. His hands slowly moved over my curves as he pulled me close, his lips touching the roundness of my shoulder.

(To be continued)