Being a lifestyler of some years (19 years soon, and a fan of the books, as well, I don't want to forget that), I am often asked by those interested in but ignorant of this philosophy how the male/female (ie. owner/slave, we will ignore the Free companion issue until another time) relationship we practice fits into the whole "bdsm" scene. Is it a slave bondage scene? Is it all about control of the slave with a touch of sadism tossed in? Is it all about humiliation of the slave?

I am most always happy to smile and patiently explain that, no, they have it all wrong. Wrong from the very start.

The Gorean owner/slave relationship does not fit into the categories I list above, or any of the other "regular" bdsm/msds scenarios that are practiced so freely. There is a fundamental but very important difference between what they do and what we are.

Simply, what we are is not about, nor focused at all on, the slave/submissive. What we are and do is not bdsm/msds in the popular manner it has come to be defined by that community.

How is that possible? Simple. A Gorean man does not need to own, use, touch, speak to, see or interact in any way with a slave, in order for him to manifest this philosophy into his daily life. The girls are soft, and warm and nice to look at, and I for one enjoy them immensely, but the fact remains that one can clearly live by the tenets of this philosophy, and not be concerned with slave girls at all.

The girls have their place, of course. I regularly point out that if the girls were not there, we would be hanging out with a bunch of hairy men all the time. The slave girls can certainly dress the place up, both online and off. But the man who thinks that what a Gorean man is has to be defined by the women he owns, rather than his own actions in manifesting this philosophy in his life on a daily basis is misguided at best and a g/lamer at worst.

Consider those facts, next time you hear of a man (online or off) who claims to be "gorean" begging some slave/submissive to "please" take his "kol-ar" (sic). Whether that collar be for his own personal use, or for the tired old "protection online" scam, the fact remains that once he begs the girl to be "his", he loses the right to be regarded seriously as one of us.

This philosophy translates into a hard, harsh and demanding lifestyle. I tell those I meet who are interested to run from it and don't look back. Some do. Most never find the lifestyle and are content to pretend. And a few it seems, have no choice. Those folks deserve our help and support.

On another note, I wanted to take some time this month to let you all know something about what goes on behind the scenes here at THE VOICE. My job, as editor, is to prune through the submissions and approve or reject them. The initial vision of THE VOICE was mine, and I remain the one who makes all the hard decisions.

But the real work on THE VOICE is not done by me, but by two people whom I appreciate greatly and could not think to ever do without. Pantheus and Opal do 99% of the work you see here each month. They determine how the magazine looks, where it sits, how you maneuver around it. They decide on colors, themes, and styles. They write copy, cartoons, and captions. They talk to writers, sometimes sweetly, sometimes waving the "deadline stick" at them.

Truly, without these two fine people, THE VOICE would never have existed but for an idea in my head. I've waited for months to have a chance to say "Thank You".

And now, I have done so.

Until next month, I wish you well.

Bear-