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Someone recently said to me that they considered themselves to be Gorean, however "if it becomes
apparent that the label I have claimed does not fit the philosophy I hold, it is my label and not my philosophy which I will change. Hence, I would no longer consider myself to be Gorean."
If that is so, then one who practices that method of deductive self-growth can continue, onward and upwards, as it were, without altering the shared community and therefore allowing those whose own journeys differ to make their own decisions regarding what is best for themselves. Basically that is what I'm getting at; that just because a particular lifestyle or philosophy turns out to be ill-suited to a particular person is no reason why that philosophy should be altered to fit in with that person's new-found personal revelations. Like if one person decides that they do not like chocolate. That does not mean that chocolate is a bad thing; just that, for that particular person, chocolate is not their cup of tea. Such a person, rather than attempting to convince others about the evils of chocolate, should simply move on and try something new. And that person would be wise to take off the "I love Chocolate" t-shirt they are wearing and leave the chocolate eaters to their own devices.
Part IV - An Opinion about Masters and slaves When someone looks at the books, and the relationships developed between Tarl Cabot and the various women he comes into contact with in each, how they react to each other, they look at basic human nature - Gorean nature - and the core principles of Master and slave. Norman developed a society based on ancient civilizations and values inherent to them - the intrinsic belief that Men are the dominant in the society, and women submissive. The good doctor examined many different associations between men and women within his world of Gor...and the most intriguing, and typical Gorean relationship that exists away from the books - on or off-line - is that of Master and slave. Being Gorean is living a lifestyle. This lifestyle includes the interaction and relationship between the Men and women who live it. It is grouped with the bdsm community, because of the submission of the women to the dominant Men. There is also the ideas of punishment for failure, displeasing behavior, or disrespect. Gor is not an easy life - the world from the books is harsh, and the lifestyle is no less. Men lead, women serve. That is all there really is to it... But, it goes deeper than that. What makes a Man a Master? What makes a woman slave? And what do each expect from the other? I cannot go into the intimate details of the slave's view of things, but have spoken to quite a few, and can base my perceptions on these girls. Let's take each issue on its own... What makes a Man a Master? Coming to Gor online, and meeting with the people of the Silk&Steel Tavern, I have watched and learned about the Men, the principles they live, and also reflected on how these principles have infused my life. Looking at Gorean philosophy, the ideals that form a Man, one has to look at each and apply it to himself. He has a duty to be honest to himself, to respect his own desires, emotions, dreams, and beliefs. In everything a Man does, he must learn control. Knowing and accepting what he is inside, so that he has the confidence in himself to do what he feels is best for himself. Being able to understand that he could be wrong about something, and taking the responsibility for his actions. Knowing when he just can't do it all himself, and knowing how and where to seek help. Being able to learn and grow, every day, and maintaining the control of himself. Losing control shows one hasn't mastered himself. Granted, there are external factors which can cause a reaction, but how one handles the situation as it arises will show how well he has Mastered himself. What makes a woman slave? As I don't have personal experience with this, I can only base my opinions on the information I have gleaned from talking to different girls. The basic premise that inside all women is a slave waiting to be tamed is very prevalent in the Gorean philosophies. Off-line, within the lifestyle, women find that they crave to be controlled, or have a deep desire to do anything and everything they can for a man, as long as he is strong in himself, and can show her that strength, tempered with some compassion. A slave does not expect to be treated in a cruel fashion, but does expect strong discipline when mistakes have been made. Online, they crave to serve, whether it is to sit on a Master's feet, get his drink, something to please the Man on the other end of the computer. They come to learn more about being kajira, and maybe find the Master that makes them truly burn to serve. The girl inside the woman burns to serve, many times because of the way they were raised. Growing up in a family with a strong man at the head of the household, they learn respect and devotion to such men, and desire to find such a man for themselves after they have grown up. What do each expect of the other? Just as everyone is different, expectations are different between a Master and the slave he collars. Generally, there would be some rapport between each, especially in an off-line relationship. I have seen others speak of things they demand from the girl before them; they speak of submission, devotion, servitude, and love. When the slaves have shared, they wish to submit to a strong man, to serve with devotion in every way possible. Off-line relationships, from both points of view, seem to have some requirement of love. And from what I have seen, between discussions online, and visits off-line, there is an amount of deep emotion between the Master and his slave. For me personally, I am no different in these respects. I demand the girl's absolute submission and devotion, respectful servitude, companionship and love. I will, in turn, provide the companionship, friendship, compassion, and love to my kajira, discipline when required, and always careful correction and training. Gor is harsh, but not unnecessarily cruel; neither am I. In ancient oriental philosophies - kung-fu, karate, Buddhism, Zen - the goal is to find your center, find a balance in life. The title of Master or Mistress is an honorific on Gor, but it is one that must needs be earned. Likewise, the girls are called slave, but have to prove themselves as such, prove they are true Gorean kajira. Show me a truly submissive girl, one who has an undying burn to serve, to please...and I will call her kajira. The slave needs a Master to serve, to fulfill the needs within herself, her desire to please. The Man, the Master, does not require ownership of a girl to prove his worth, to prove he is Master. He only needs to show his proof by his respect of the others, and the way he carries himself - Honourably. The road is long, the journey is hard. Man should not travel alone in life, and in fact, doesn't. There are others who have traveled this way before, and others who shall come after. Even now, at the beginning of my own journey in Becoming Gorean, I am finding others that are along the road with me, learning with me. People I have talked to have asked me how I find Gor - specifically, the Silk & Steel Tavern online - and I respond that I have finally come home.
I wish you well
Wildman Before I found Gor, I was on an adult roleplaying MUSH (MultiUser Shared Hallucination). I left for various reasons, not the least of which being that 90% of the "females" were really males. Of course, it isn't too hard to spot them - gigantic boobs and an obvious lack of knowledge concerning female anatomy are a dead giveaway. But it did lead me to Gor, in a convoluted way. A female friend there knew how much I disliked the place and directed me to a BDSM MUSH - less roleplay, and more standards. Someone like the type of person I described above would not have lasted long there. While looking around there, a "Domme" asked me what I would do if a woman offered me a thousand dollars to be her slave for a week. I said I'd laugh at her. Then she asked what if she had a gun and threatened my life. I said I'd kill her at the first opportunity. We talked more about domination and why we did what we did. I said I was dominant because I was a man. It was a natural part of me. How could I be any other way? It was then that she suggested I check out the Gorean area on the MUSH. "Gore?", I thought. She wouldn't say much about it, just that I would find it more to my liking than the rest of the place. What I found was BDSM with roleplaying, in my mind at the time. It was certainly better than what I had thought. I read all the rules, every scrap of information I could find. A few people told me about the books and I thought they were pornography. Nobody really did anything about that misconception. I didn't even catch on that there was actually a philosophy involved. There was much information about "Bazi Tea Service", and a half-dozen varieties of silks. So I went on my way learning about what Gor was - well, not really, but of course didn't know that. Well, anyway, I got to talking with an FW there. She explained that it was a lifestyle, and that the way it was being shown was not the way it should be. She didn't go into details, but she said there were certain things being done that weren't in the books. They had a web page with logs of "kajira school" and I read them. I began to catch on. Basically, the logs were showing a conflict between what they said was Gorean, and how they acted. There were strong indications - looking back - of a "kinder gentler Gor". Such as only a slave's Master could punish her. And if they left the Gor area, they were "safe". I was there no more than a week. In the first few days, I was treated to the hospitality of a man who ignored me while his slave served him blackwine - all 12 paragraphs half a screenfull each. I learned the third day that there were no unowned slaves because the guy in charge of the area was putting them in collars as they walked in. He wouldn't let anyone have a slave he didn't train and sell to them. He hid behind the excuse of "I want them to be trained right." As if he might know how I would want a girl trained? Well, I met with the FW again and told her that while I liked Gor, I didn't like this place, but it wasn't like I had a choice. She laughed and told me that it was only a small part of Gor, that there are others who do not roleplay at all. That it wasn't simply a game to them. That for them it was about slaves. That last part blew my mind. She gave me the URL for the silk&Steel web page and said she didn't she would see me again. I was a little puzzled about that (it turned out she was right, even though I did go back there for my old friend, who is now a slave but that's another story). After reading it - a lot of it - and saying to myself, these people quote the books in every rule they have. There is nothing they don't support with a quote. So I went to the tavern to see if they walk the walk, too. I saw men like myself. Men who called me stranger and newbie, rather than friend and brother. Men who didn't ignore each other for the sake of some overdescriptive words on the screen. Men who weren't playing roles. Men who didn't use their status as ops to get slaves. Also, Free Women who didn't act like "Dommes" and slaves who didn't act like spoiled brats. I had a lot to unlearn yet, but I knew this was the place where I belonged. Now, three months, the rest of the web site, the archives of this ezine, and 8 books later (with many more to come), I understand what it is to be Gorean. It is both a joy and a burden. It is what I am. To all those who have helped me on my journey of understanding, all of you who have help me grow, you know who you are, thank you, and I wish you most well. Wildman, Scribe of Ar
Longinius I paused today to take a long look at these two words tossed about so often here in our online community. I looked up the definitions of both words in my handy-dandy, "I'm a warrior, use small words" Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. I'm not going to write out all of the definitions, but feel free to look them up. I will however, write the pertinent definitions for the use of these words as I am using them now.
1Trust \n\
2Trust \v\
1Respect \n\
2Respect \vt\ Both of these words imply something is exchanged, either singularly or mutually. Trust is "placed" or given, hoping for reciprocation. Respect is given without the hope of reciprocation. To give respect does not imply it is returned. In our online relationships, both of these words are of particular importance. Men respect each other, or not, and deal with each other according to whatever measure of respect each holds in the eyes of the other. Slaves trust, unconditionally, absolutely, or at least they are supposed to trust this way. I consider trust to be a gift. I think most of us do in order to begin a relation with another person. Respect can then be consider much like credit or a loan, something earned based on past performance. Trust is something we take too much for granted. Each of us makes a statement every time we interact with someone else. That statement is: "I am what I say I am, you can trust me." Whether it is believed or not is something the other person decides. They either accept what you offer (trust) or refuse it. Too often, we see that that statement is not true, but the fact is it *must* be there initially for any communication to begin. I give my trust away each time I deal with someone. And I'm glad to do it; I have an abundance of it. What they do in accepting it is to acknowledge the premise that I will be what I say I am. I then accept their trust, accepting 'what they say they are', trust in exchange for trust. Each initially begins with this base and build from there. Communication begins. As more information is shared, more trust is given, and taken. Until something deeper is formed. Respect on the other hand is loaned. I withhold it until I determine there is value in giving it. An honest action here, a deep thought there, both will earn a measure of respect. But if some action or word is against what I myself would do, it doesn't mean respect is taken back, it just is not given out more. Respect is harder to gain, but no less fragile as anything as intangible can be. If some action or word is spoken deliberately to be dishonest or hurtful, then the trust is broken. What I gave away freely is damaged. It can be repaired, but it won't be what I first gave away. The same action or word might also affect respect. The respect they've earned up until then is still there, but there will not be any gained from the action. I can respect someone I distrust. Trust isn't something taken lightly. I use the word 'taken' intentionally, you take mine, and I yours. This is another reason respect is different. If I don't want or need it from someone, my actions are not accountable to them, I might do whatever I choose to, with, around them. Men expect respect, and this means we do and say things that earn it. Slaves do not earn respect, and their actions are not held to this standard. Since men do not respect slaves, they can, and do choose to do what they will with them. Everyone expects trust. Without it, none of us can begin to build whatever relations we form with those we meet. That initial exchange is always there, and will be there until one or the other damages the trust of the other. Respect, because it is earned, does not need to be involved with a relationship. Respect is exchanged in only one direction at a time. Every individual earns their own, and the measure of it will vary with each person, those that have it, and those that give it. Some earn it others do not. Every time we witness the lies, and deceit of another, it makes us want to hold our own trust closer, less eager to give it out with the next person we meet. The possibility that it will be damaged becomes more apparent. We can choose not to give it away, crippling the beginning of a new relationship at the start, until we feel less threatened with the likelihood of our trust being broken. In doing so, we equate respect with trust, forcing an individual to "measure up" before we give our trust. Since respect is not mutually exchanged, the foundation of the relationship is already weighted in one direction or another, and may never be balanced. Is balance a requirement? I think not. Much of what we consider Gorean is not about balance. It is about each one of us assuming our place in the natural order of things. Do we need respect to maintain relationships? Again, I think not. But trust is another matter. Without it, the openness with each other, the willingness to participate, the joy in just being in our place is dimmed if not forfeit. I do not require respect from my peers, I'll earn it or not. I do however, hope for trust to be shared confidently between us.
Yurial Evolution is a natural part of life. The old is replaced by new. Some of it good, and some bad. Opinions will be as varied as the men speaking them. Within these evolutions are critical periods. Times when whole paradigms may shift or entrench. During these times individual issues become increasingly complex, since balances are to be broken. Evolution is an ongoing process. This is true for individuals as well as societies. One can guide their own evolution. They have no choice but to take part in the evolutions which touch their lives. Evolution does not bow to the weak; it destroys or consumes. The weak have no place in such strong tides. Only those with a foundation will be able to withstand its wrath. And then for only as long as the foundation stands. For Goreans, the foundation is found in Home Stones and Castes. In other words, groups of individuals pooling their skills and working towards a common goal. These groups become integrated into evolution. These groups sometimes define it. Evolution is patient, growing stronger each day. It never looks bock, since its course lay ahead. Unguided, it has no conscience.
I wish all well,
Dangruscurvzzz Respect men. This is something we women hear often. That we should respect men. They do not have to earn that respect, they should simply be respected because they are men. Hmmmm.... I disagree. Let's face it. Whether we wish to admit it or not, respect is something that must be earned. Respect is an emotion. No one, regardless of gender can command another to respect them, any more than one can demand that another love them. How do I reconcile this inability to respect each and every man with my place in the natural order? Well.... it is not as difficult as one might think. There are several men who have earned my respect. I did not "test" them to see if they were "worthy." They simply demonstrate through the way they comport themselves that they are deserving of respect. They are strong and secure in their masculinity. Honest and forthright in their dealings with people. They are true to themselves and what they believe in. Proud of who and what they are. Big enough to admit when they are wrong, they take responsibility for their actions. While never too proud to apologize for a wrongdoing, they never apologize for who they are. These are men who have mastered themselves. Gorean men. Men who have inspired my respect. But what of the men who are none of these things? Men who are shallow and insecure. Men who need to bully women to make themselves feel somehow more "manly." Men who are weak and petty and too arrogant to even notice their own ignorance. Men who, instead of striving to be the best they can be, make excuses for what they are not. How does a woman respect these men? Easy. .... She doesn't. What she does respect is THE FACT of his gender. She respects his place in the natural order as ahead of hers. She respects that. If push comes to shove, she will defer to him. However, she is under no obligation (and I do not believe it is possible even if she tried) to respect him. So that is the answer. While I will respect every man's place in the natural order, it by no means mean I will respect every man. That personal respect for the man himself.... Well, that is inspired by the man himself. And the men who inspire that...... are still relatively rare.
I wish you well,
And old Earth saying tells us: "Losers quit, and Winners go home and fuck the Prom Queen." I suppose the Gorean version of that would be: "Losers behave with honor, acknowledge the facts of their defeat, and beat the Winners back to the Winner's city, where they rope the Prom Queen off a high bridge for sport, said incident setting off another conflict in which they might do better."
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