When she was pregnant with her daughter, kessia remembers hearing "everything changes when you have a baby". This girl smiled and nodded and failed to see how a baby could change EVERYTHING. Certainly, one expected life to be different, what with diapers, feedings and all, but everything? Then Master and kess (who were just husband and wife at that time) saw our daughter, and EVERYTHING changed. All of a sudden the environment was a big deal, teenage sex was an ISSUE, all boys our daughter’s age needed to be neutered (according to Master), and who was allowed to run the country was very important.

     Time passed and the rugrat grew, and things started to shift. Master and kessia made mutual discoveries about needs we had, and we began investigating Master/slave relationships. Eventually, kessia begged a collar, and once again, everything changed. Things kessia had not thought of and had taken for granted, like being able to roll her eyes and tell her husband "well, that’s a stupid rule and you are being unreasonable", and expect the rule to change, were taken away. The rugrat became HIS daughter. As in, his to have final say over just like everything else in the house. One had not thought of parenting as part and parcel to the M/s relationship and one got doused with the proverbial bucket of water when she realised the surrender meant surrender of EVERYTHING.

     Small gifts, like saying "this is my daughter" were granted only because Master wants his girl to have a say in her upbringing and did not want kessia to feel like a custodian/babysitter. He values kessia’s opinions about childrearing because kessia is with the girl 24/7, but does he HAVE to listen to kess? Nope. OOh, that is a hard one to accept and kessia still struggles with it. As a mother, kessia feels that she knows the rugrat better than anyone, and her word should be accepted and well... obeyed. As a slave, kess knows this is not true and does not want it to be true, but sometimes a person’s maternal nature and slave nature clash. One does have the assurance, the faith and trust in Master to know that he has absolutely the rugrat’s best interests in mind, and would never ever hurt her. It is his daughter after all, and she thinks the sun rises and sets on him and vice versa.

     But what if.........

     What if Master was not the rugrat’s father, what if kessia was a single slave mom? One cannot even imagine the difficulty faced in trying to find a man who is willing to have a slave with children, who is willing to put aside some things he might want for the sake of the child’s well being, who is going to be trustworthy enough to not only trust with one’s life but the lives of her children. One has known her Master all of her adult life, as husband, best friend and now owner. One trusts absolutely that our views of what is appropriate for a child to see are the same. While sometimes this time together has acted as a stumbling block to the progression of the Master/slave relationship, as far as kids go, it has been a blessing. Having children does add limits to what can be done and kessia already knew that these limits were not only considered the same by both of us, but deemed acceptable by him. Both of us sigh wistfully when we think of the freedoms that will come in .. ohhh 18 years or so, but neither of us would change ANYTHING to make those freedoms happen sooner. Are all men like this? Nope. Are there some? Yep. Are they hard to find? Yep.

     One thinks that the toughest thing she has had to face is that there is something stronger than her ’belly’, something stronger than her need to serve: Her feelings as a mother. It is hard to hear that there are limits, that there is a point where one would STOP being a slave, harder still to accept this reality, but there it is. In kessia’s case, this is a ’theoretical reality’ .....but it is something that kessia needed to address and accept within herself. If the rugrat was in danger, or being harmed, kessia would do whatever she had to do to protect the child. Period. No worries about being pleasing, no worries or angst about failing. Just the need and the knowledge that kessia gave birth to this child and it is her absolute duty to keep her safe before and above anything else. Thankfully, kessia can bask in the knowledge that she will never ever face a choice like this, that Master has exactly the same drive to keep the rugrat safe and healthy. One knows he is not the only Dominant man on the planet with these views, but if kessia was not owned by him, one would sure have a hard time finding anyone else she trusted that much.

     There are others who suggest that mothers have the ’right’ to be happy. One would agree with this, as long as the aforementioned happiness does not interfere with the children’s well being. While one does understand the need a slave feels to serve, and the desire to be blissfully enslaved to a man, one does not understand doing so at any cost, any more than one understands single ’vanilla’ women who run a parade of partners through their children’s lives. Generally speaking, we live much much longer than the 18 years it takes to get a child to adulthood and *wicked grin* OUT of the house, so there is plenty of time to pursue one’s other needs. In the meantime, as far as kessia can see, it only takes some adjustments.

     Does being a mom interfere with being a slave? Well, it does, but it doesn’t HAVE to be the massive problem that some would like to think it is. One knows of one single mom who refuses to live 24/7 until her kid is older. When she is called to serve, she gets a sitter and goes. Master and kessia get one four day weekend a year to ’act out’ without fear of getting busted by a four year old. *grins* Sometimes, we get more than that. The rugrat has her auntie, who is (according to kiddo) too cool for words and she is allowed to go have "vacations" with her. Master and kessia look forward to these times when subtle service is pitched out the window in favor of a loud "Get me coffee SLUT!!" or when kessia can use the word ’Master’ instead of using his given name or an endearment. The rest of the time, things are ’toned down’ a bit. One is still expected to DO all the same things, but it is far more subtle.

     One has noticed that we, the adults, tend to make a *really* big deal out of things that kids just don’t care about. When we thought of Telling The Rugrat About Mommy and Daddy both of us just wanted to faint. It was right up there with the Sex Talk. Well, kessia survived the Sex Talk, realizing in mid-speech that the kid could really care about how adults express their love for one another and would much rather hear about every detail of embryological development. Master and kessia both survived some mildly embarrassing questions, and still sat wondering with what to Tell the Rugrat. What happens if she asks mom if she is a slave? What happens if she asks if Dad ever spanks mom?

     Sometimes it is GOOD to be a military family, as you get exposed to phrases like "need to know basis". Well, the rugrat is on a need to know basis and there are specifics she just doesn’t need to hear confirmed or denied. Ever. Maybe it is growing up in the information age that made kessia think she HAD to tell the rugrat everything. The thing is though, it is possible to impart information without giving away specifics or being graphic. Then kessia sat back and thought about what she actually needed to be told. She sees mom is happy, Dad is happy, and when Dad says no, it is final. What else does she need to know? Certainly if she was older and asked kessia questions, one would answer them in honest yet general terms. Just like the sex talk. Or the drug talk. Or the driving talk. Or any of the nine million talks that happen when you deal with kids. You think you are going to the grocery store for a quart of milk and you end up discussing why stealing is wrong. So, if it comes up and she asks kessia about submission, or slavery or any of the myriad things that she might want to know, this one will answer her in terms of ’some people’. Of course, kessia would really like to say "go ask your father", but he has already announced that kessia is the primary fielder of such questions. *grins* So, kessia will tell the rugrat that some people have a need in them, some need to surrender their life to another and others are more dominant, and then there are those that are totally dominant. For right now though, she is pretty happy just knowing about eggs, and babies, and that Dad is in charge of the house.

     This one hopes her words have not been found offensive or too awfully long winded.

One wishes the Masters and Mistresses well,
one wishes the slaves well

kessia{Sage}