Chapter 2

     Pangs touched me for a moment, of guilt as I closed my eyes and drifted back remembering how I came to be where I am today.  Pangs of guilt because at times I doubted myself and the objectives of my owner, my master, my demigod.  My memory slowly ebbed into the past, and a transcendal peace flowed over me in my dark cell as I went back to our first meeting.  A soft murmur of contentment escaped my lips as memories took me into my dream world.

     I had given my heart, my soul , to a man I had never met, a man whose words infiltrated my whole being.  I know to some this may sound ludicrous, but to me, it was my reality. The marvels of the information highway, and here I was, across the country, after 6 months of knowing him through words on a screen, being owned by him, finally meeting him face to face.  I find it hard to explain the complexity of feelings, the emotions that raged through me at the very moment.

     Words of a wise man echoed through my ears, "Be careful what you wish for girl, you may just get it."  Oh yes, I got what I wished for, but let me not get ahead of myself.

     I did not know what he looked like, my eyes perused each face as it passed, looking for a connection, searching with trepidation.  My breath was shallow, feeling almost to the point of suffocation, my air passages tightening with each second.  A small bead of sweat  slowly trickled down by cheek, though the air was cool on my flesh. I leaned against a wall, afraid that my legs would no longer hold me upright.  My nails were digging into the flesh of my palms until the pain finally over rode my other emotions.  Quickly glancing at my hands and seeing no blood, I brushed them lightly over my  dress and at that moment, a man stood before me, larger then life.

     His eyes lazily traveled over my form, and at the moment time stood still.  He stepped closer, his very presence invading every inch of my body. My eyes well with tears as I recount this moment, the beauty of it.  Such beauty because I was so naive, so innocent in thinking I knew what it was to totally submit to such a man’s will.  Innocence because at that time I did not realize that a person could turn such beauty into something evil and deranged.

     He spoke but two words, which felt almost as a soft caress of my cheek.  He turned and walked away, my eyes blinking trying to assimilate his words with some meaning.  Pressing my hand to my mouth, I took a deep breath, letting the oxygen flow into my lungs and whispered to myself, "Follow him."

     I do not know what really happened at the moment, I willed my feet to move, but a weakness  enveloped me, pulling me into a dark pit.  Almost like a fist had reached in and grasped at any strength I had and pulled me to the ground..  It was like a slow motion movie , my body reverberating for a moment, it was my slap back to reality.  I quickly scrambled back to feet, trying to bestow some composure.  I felt no embarrassment, his eyes glancing at me for a moment filled with mirth.  This was the reaction he pulled from me, he desired.

     Naturally, without thought I moved to his left side and fell in behind him, stepping quickly, trying to keep up with his long strides.  I had no thoughts, I moved as in a dream, almost floating above the ground, following each step. I was now only his marionette on strings waiting for him  to move me to his will.

     I found myself sitting on a bench in a restaurant, him sliding in beside me, his leg pressing against mine.  For a moment, I felt as if I had lifted my hands to the heavens and had been pulled into the skies, I could have not have been more blissful.  Every fantasy I had created in my mind, ever scenario I had played had not prepared me for these emotions.

     Without a word he leaned close, his hand nestling on my chin, his large thumb tracing over my lips as he rubbed the lipstick easily away.  The words, "pretty girl," seeped through to my very essence.

     If someone had yelled at that moment, "Run, don’t become part of his psychotic fantasy!" It would not have mattered. He was master, I was slave, and he would take from me whatever he desired now.  How could I have ever imagined where this one day would lead?

     A few morsels of food were placed to my lips, obediently I ate, though I had no hunger.  My tongue lapping in gratitude as I drew each piece in my mouth.  I lifted my eyes for a moment, catching the looks of a group of people with looks of confusion at what they must have seen  as an odd spectacle.  The only words that escaped my mouth, were my pleadings, pleadings of being alone with him, out of the public view.  He stroked my hair, with each touch I felt myself becoming smaller and smaller, like a child being cradled in their parents arms, in their protection, safe.

     Like a page in a book turning, I was alone with him. Standing, hands slowly moving over me, his breath, lips moving over my neck as he peeled away my clothing.   As my dress  slipped to the  floor, any modesty I may have once had slow slipped away as the clothing  flittered down. More then just a bare form, it was if he had stripped away something deeper to the core, so raw and helpless, so vulnerable.  I was no more then a raw welt, each touch, soft touch seeming to shoot through my body, every nerve screaming for more.My body danced as his hand moved slowly over my bare flesh, sliding over the contours. I felt so soft, tender, so small and so feminine.  With each erotic and sensual touch , my body came alive. Yes, this was how I was suppose to feel, I felt as if I had been set free, a feather floating, slowly lowering and lifting again in the wind.

     The first meeting lasted but a handful of hours.  When he walked out the door, I curled up on the bed in a fetal position in exhaustion.  I felt as if I had experienced sensory overload, continuous attentions, mental and physical.   Sexually he had pushed me past anything I could have ever imagined. My submission allowing me to become wanton  and amorous without any preconceived notions holding me back about what was acceptable. What now was acceptable was his wishes. Mentally, I felt as if I had been walking on a tight rope,  at times wanting to fall, but terrified not knowing whether there would be a net to catch me.

     I closed my eyes, my fingertips lightly brushing over the numerous welts, the pain still fresh not only on my flesh, but also etched into my mind.  He had said he had such high expectations of me.  I knew I would learn to please him totally.  Next time I would speak a little louder, turn more gracefully on my toes, press the cup to my belly longer when I served him and answer, "Yes Master," clearer when he spoke.    I knew when I saw him next, I would please him.

     I listened to the soft and soothing pattering of rain against the panes of glass which lulled me off the sleep. The soft sound slowly changed as I heard the lock slides from its place, pulling me back to reality, away from me memories, away from my dreams.

     I let out a soft cry of despair as the lid was lifted from my prison and my master lifted me easily, my body numb and weak. He lovingly stroked my hair, holding me close, his words sending a terror through me as I searched my mind for the reason I had been imprisoned.  I looked up for a moment, my eyes filled with fear as the tears poured down my cheeks.  With a tender kiss to my cheek, he lowered my trembling form back in the enclosure,  a kind smile the last thing I saw before the lid slowly shut and the lock again took its place.

    It would be months before I again found the strength to continue with my story.  Months before I was able to let my mind wander without terror consuming me.  I am not really sure how long I remained in that box, I only knew he finally carried my limp form to the bath as he cared and lovingly groomed me.  I wouldn’t soon forget that the corners of the toilet paper roll were to be turned under and creased so he could grab the end with ease.  At times I wondered if I would ever know everything he wished, everything he desired so that one day I could ultimately please him.

(To be continued)